- Awareness is a must for the next requirement, which is willingness. We must have enough desire to do the work or we will simply default to the path of least of resistance… the way it has always been.
- If changing was easy, more people would be satisfied with their life on all levels. We have discussed that change is difficult because we are hard-wired to trust our thinking… it is all we know! We have learned that this is a problem because we continually need new coping and thriving mechanisms as our lives evolve in a world that changes around us in ways we cannot control.
- When I realize that my freedom is on the other side of this fear of the unknown, I become willing to move through the discomfort of the perpetual flux of each moment. This means I let go of trying to control people places and things to make them fit into my known reality. I avail myself of the presence of mind which adapts to the flow of life that creates the cosmos and everything in it.
- If I don’t do this, the pain of forcing my perspective on everything will likely cultivate the willingness in time. Choosing to move through fear is a far more efficient and pleasant path to happiness than being dragged through the inevitable.
…to be continued.
My awareness of these principles was not enough for me to become entirely willing to change. I wanted to be willing, but I found it so challenging to change. Yesterday, I used the example of yelling at my two-year-old daughter even though I didn’t want to be that type of mom. I had the awakening that my thinking (not my child) was the culprit when she was six years old. I made many attempts to change but found myself going back to her to apologize to her more times than I care to admit. Without going into detail, I will just tell you that it took ten years for me to totally destroy my credibility with her. I knew I had pushed her too far. The thought that I would lose my daughter was my bottom. I was finally in enough pain that I became willing to let go of “my way” altogether. I became a listener and the wind at her back. It took some time to win back her trust, but I let go of my fear about that too! I knew that if I held onto thinking that keeps me in regret (past) or fear (future) I would disconnect myself from the Power that is only available now, the power to trust in goodness and love and walk into my vision for the future.
- The brain is like a computer. It uses the operating system and programs that the factory and or you download into it. If you have not downloaded an Adobe Acrobat reader, a PDF file will look like this to you when you open it: ¤◊◊◊∏◊◊◊◊◊◊—∇◊∏∪◊⌈◊◊◊〈∇»Ξ∴◊◊
- So too with the brain. If an experience, opinion, behavior, etc., was not in our social conditioning (programming), we will tend to dismiss it or disagree with it, and we will not be able to access the opposite without intentionally focusing and downloading a new program (behavior, perception, etc.).
- So the first challenge to staying present is understanding the automation in the brain that lulls us away from seeing each moment through the unbiased lens without the overlay of historical programming. We have to want to challenge our thinking and our assumptions if we want to access the present moment and its gift of pure potential, inspiration, and Power. When we humbly accept that we have not received and downloaded all the very best hardware and software available to date, we are blessed with the awareness that our conditioning is
- often causing damaging perceptions,
- locking us into a default operating system that uses the same coping mechanisms (programs) over and over even if they haven’t worked in the past,
- and producing automatic, often undesirable behaviors…
…to be continued.
I will never forget when my daughter was just two years old, as I was yelling at her for refusing to get out of her bathtub, she looked up at me and said, “Someone must have been mean to you when you were a kid.” Oh, my….out of the mouths of babes!!!!! The blood rushed out of my head. I had a great Mom, who also (understandably) yelled at me and my three siblings quite often. We were a handful and she was raising us alone. My dad died leaving her with four children under the age of 11 and she had to work full-time! Decades later, I was a mom with none of those stressors. But I coped with defiance as if I did have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I hated my behavior. I wanted to be Supermom, but I couldn’t see that I was causing my life pattern to repeat by awfulizing the moment and reacting as if my hair were on fire. I loved and still love this child more than life itself and yet, I couldn’t change because I didn’t challenge my perceptions. I thought she was out of control, but it was really me who was out of control. You will see in later posts that in time life forced me to examine my thinking and begin to change how I see things. I became able to use this type of resistance to the moment to get my attention and then make a shift. I began to captain my ship. It took focus to turn the ship around, but my awareness that the momentum of my past course was trying to prevent me from my new direction, gave me the willingness to let go of judgments and demands of my old life.
“I am dealing with a bunch of idiots.”
“She doesn’t know how I feel – I would never say what I really think; I would be fired.”
“Don’t worry, I behaved like a gentleman.”
These are the types of comments I hear every day.
It seems there is a widespread misconception that if we just keep our mouth shut, no harm no foul. Many believe that if nobody sees the conflict between what we think, how we feel and what we say, then we can control how we are perceived by others.
This is impossible!
As within, so without. We can’t plant pumpkin seeds and hope to grow roses. Our thoughts are seeds that are planted in the fertile soil that is the depths of our mind. As with seeds buried underground, we don’t see thoughts. These seeds sprout in our speech and bloom in our action.
When we say something we don’t mean, we are expecting the listener to believe that our pumpkin sprout is actually a rose sprout. It won’t be long until that sprout comes to full bloom and our pumpkin is impossible to pass-off as a rose.
Energy is how we water our garden. Positive (honest, open, willing, compassionate, optimistic and loving) energy will grow thoughts, words, deeds and results that are beneficial to everyone. Negative (fearful, resentful, jealous, anxious, dishonest, secretive and hateful) energy gives rise to thoughts, words, deeds and results that are destructive to common purpose.
The more energy we give a thought, the harder it is to disguise. If a thought is not helpful, it is far easier to nip it in the bud at its inception. If we pull our attention away from it, then we can correctly say, “No harm no foul.” Our other option is to replace the thought. Dig up the pumpkin seed and put in a seed that is in line with a solution and/or positive outcome.