Changing How You Look at Things Changes What You’re Looking At

I want to show you how you can end stress associated with control issues.  Actually, that’s redundant!  Isn’t all stress caused by feeling powerless to guarantee a desired result?

One of the most important principles underlying everything I say and do and teach is: Life is Lived From the Inside→Out.  There are many potent principles associated with this Truth.  One of the more challenging and equally rewarding to use is: Thoughts Are More Powerful Than Words or Things.  This principle is challenging because it rarely produces instant gratification and we can’t prove cause and effect at this level.  And yet, if you pay attention, you will know that all the events of your life, began at  the invisible level of thought.  Awareness is key.  If you are not paying attention you will miss it and dismiss the most effective way to create the life of your dreams.    When we understand that our inner world creates our outer world, we know that trying to control people, places or things to get what we want is an option on par with rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The formula is simple:

  • Become aware of stress.
  • Change your perspective by looking at the scenario from the perspective of the other person, the institution or an impartial observer.
  • Reinterpret the situation.  Spend as much time as it takes to imagine a way to  interpret the event(s) that benefits you.
  • Adjust your attitude by acting as if this interpretation is the correct interpretation.  
  • Use this perception every time the topic comes up.
  • If new information is presented about this topic that negates this, simply repeat the steps.

Many years ago, one of  my best friends betrayed me.  I was divorcing my husband at the time.  I felt like I had been abandoned, unappreciated, unloved and alone when I couldn’t save my marriage.  I was so afraid, depleted and depressed.  This was one of the darkest periods in my life.  To make matters worse, I discovered that friends and relatives don’t like when you upset the apple cart.  At least, back then in my little world, divorce came with stigma attached.  My friends weren’t happy that I became a single  mom and my relatives were not too thrilled with the idea of a ‘failure’ in the genealogy.

One of my go-to ‘peeps’ was so disturbed by my decision, that she set out to destroy my reputation.  My situation at the time was rife with highly effective circumstantial evidence that could be used to ‘frame’ me.  I was the unwitting starlet of my soap opera.  I faced accusation and rejection from people I loved at a time when I needed them most.  Luckily, I already had a bit of an awakening having read Deepak Chopra’s book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and James Allen’s classic, As a Man Thinketh.

We reap what we sow in thought word and deed.  This is inescapable.

This  meant that I was enduring that particular undesirable ‘harvest’ because of seeds I must have sown in the past.  If I wanted a different harvest, I would have to plant new seeds.  I would have to change something.  In this case, I first had to figure out what seeds I had planted – because I had no idea what I did to get those results.  It seemed so obvious to me that she was the problem and I was the victim!  How could I ever find a way to take responsibility for this cruelty?  Then it occurred to me.  My life had a very strong theme running through it.  From the day my father died when I was a young girl, I developed an increasingly powerful victim lens  through which I perceived seemingly unprovoked unwanted circumstances.

I needed to reframe my perception or I would keep real-izing these types of scenarios.  I remember feeling so grateful that I had figured out why I often found myself saying, “Why me?”  The warm and cozy blanket of denial known as self-pity is particularly challenging to remove.  It feels so good to blame others because it gives a brief ego-driven high of  righteousness and… quite conveniently, if you are at fault, I don’t have to change.   You do!  Unfortunately,  blaming others also means my happiness is dependent upon other people or scenarios beyond my control.  Why would I choose this feeble strategy?  Fortunately, by assuming responsibility for all the circumstances of my life, I give myself response-ability.  I can respond to an affront, insult, set-back, etc. in a way that will diffuse any negative energy associated with me and begin to build a new momentum in the direction of my choosing.

Awareness of my thoughts, feelings & emotions and the  consequences of owning or validating them, gives me the power to choose the next chapter of my life.  Conversely, if I am not paying attention to the activity between my ears(positive or negative),  I give up my freedom to choose whether what comes next is beneficial or harmful  to me.

In the case of my  friend, every time a realized I was obsessing, or got a strong feeling of self-pity or resentment, I stopped what I was doing so I could address the situation, because I knew it would be a runaway train in no time. I used to take a moment or longer to bless her and forgive her.  Pausing for a minute helped me to remember that what she thought she was doing to me, she was actually doing to herself.  She could only harm me if I ‘ate the poison’ by reacting to it, thereby tacitly agreeing with the charges. In pausing, I could also reflect on  the  thoughts that came before the gripping sensation associated with my earlier negativity. Once I identified what tapes were playing in my mind, I would replace them with new ones that made me feel better, stronger, wiser, happier, positive, etc.  I could access compassion  for her because I knew that what we ‘send out’ comes back multiplied. I knew that she had no idea of the havoc that her behavior would wreak on her life later… or she wouldn’t do it!  Meanwhile,I knew I  was fortunate because I could choose to return unkindness with love knowing that I will be so happy when  that love comes back to me exponentially.

I was vigilant about harboring no ill will.  However, I did not seek her friendship either.  That would have been an act of cruelty toward myself that would also bring an undesired harvest.  In less than a year, it was time for her to reap the harvest of the seeds she planted with me.  Misfortune she never could have imagined caused her much shame and threatened her good name and reputation.  She found herself in a very compromised situation suddenly overwhelmed by new responsibilities thrust upon her.  Without batting an eyelash, I assumed as much of her load as I was suited to handle.  Her young daughter spent the better part of a year with me going home at night just to sleep.  I did whatever else I could do. The past never occurred to me.  This is why thoughts are more powerful than words or deeds.  My response to her suffering that resulted in a beautiful win-win for all parties, was only possible with a pure heart.  If I had continued to have a grudge, I could have felt vindicated.  I may have enjoyed some twisted sense of satisfaction that ‘she got what was coming to her.’ I promise you, this would have caused subconscious self-loathing and an unintended negative spiral that I would not believe I deserved!

Instead,after a couple of years, my decision to force myself to feel compassion instead of resentment (even when I didn’t mean it at first) reaped a harvest that continues to feed my soul today.  I have in her, a most loyal friend.  We have trustworthy friendship based on respect, personal responsibility and generosity of spirit.  Perhaps even more importantly, I gained so much self-respect by honoring the Golden Rule.  Gold it is!

Thoughts Become Reality

The mind has two jobs.attract health and peace of mind
Its 1st function is to translate energy and information, thereby giving us an experience of life that we call ‘reality.’ However, if you have ever gone mindless, or into the zone, on a road-trip or other engulfing activity, then you know it is possible to function fully without experiencing any of the stimulus that surrounds you. This demonstrates that reality is more than the energy & information we can identify…with our mind, which is not only part of the identifiable world, it is actually creating it within the confines of its nervous system. The damage caused by the misconception that ‘seeing is believing’ makes this point worth repeating:
Reality cannot be limited to that, which can be 
identified and measured.
We know that anything that is identifiable or measurable is some form of energy and information vibrating on & off at the speed of light.  We experience on (the stimulus or the known) because of the off(silence). It  must follow that reality  consists of both the on and the off.  When our awareness slips out of  the silent ‘ zone,’ it begins processing some of the data in its environment again and we feel deceptively safe back in the known once again.  Most people misinterpret what happens when we slip into that pure Awareness, which is a silent and motionless ever-present aspect of reality – unknown by minds addicted to the stimulus of mental activity. They become fearful that they could have had an accident.The mind feels safe in the known, even if it is unpleasant, because it believes it knows how to handle what is familiar. Attempting to regain control, people work harder to focus on the stimulus ‘coming at’ them.
This misinterpretation prevents a magnificent discovery!
  • The stimulus aspect of our being is temporary; the silence we can get access to is an eternal aspect of our being.head.mind projector
  • We can slip in and out of eternity with our awareness.
  • We function without thinking or any awareness at all.  Our brain is just allowing us to experience life.
  • Reality is movement of Awareness between dense stimulus (physical), subtle stimulus (thoughts, emotions) and no stimulus (silence, soul, spirit, Source)
  • Nothing originates in or from our mind and body.It is all being projected out from the silence underlying all experience.
  • We can change the stimulus we wish to experience by shifting our awareness far more efficiently (seemingly miraculously) than trying to physically or mentally change what has already been projected.

Ironically, the mind’s second function, protecting us, becomes a hazard blinding us to True security, the infinite Source of Power and potential.

When babies are born, we must train them to shift their awareness away from the silence and begin processing the stimulus. After years of relentless directions to pay attention, focus, and listen, we become conditioned and eventually addicted to stimulus. As if we are  under hypnosis, we become programmable and don’t even challenge our assumptions. We forget the silence that was once our home. We can’t see, hear or feel that it is always right here with us. We are left with a hole that never seems fulfilled. Something is missing, but we don’t know where to find it. It can feel like homesickness.

It is soul-sickness.

 

We will lack peace of mind and feel incomplete as long as we remain unaware of our imprisonment in the stimulus believing that it (either the problem or the solution) is coming from “out there” and separate from us. Conversely, the stress or dis-ease of overstimulus, and the failure of ‘the world’ to quell our angst can cause us to question our thinking and surrender in humility. The release literally re-opens the path to the silent Awareness we knew as babies.  Letting go of the known creates access to that ‘peace that passes understanding’ with the rational mind because this silent, eternal Source of temporary temporal reality can only be known through direct experience. Most people believe they must die to get access to it because they can’t stop thinking long enough to move their awareness beyond the known… except by chance, as when we drive long enough to unintentionally slip into the zone, which is at once misunderstood and feared.   

The relief of letting go is realization of the soul. 
Occasionally, a peak experience of shock or awe will cause us to reconnect with the memory of wholeness.  This is either described as Nirvana or a ‘out of body experience. In our hypnosis, we have become so divorced from ourselves that we don’t understand what happened and have no idea how to find our way back to it. Like babies  needing  indoctrination into the world of form and phenomenon, we need guidance finding our way back to real-ization of that Silence in our daily lives. When we do, we are no longer delusional as we wander around what we thought was reality:  the two-dimensional world of our making. We awaken from that dream (nightmare?) to the 3-dimensional (mind/body/soul) Truth that eluded us.   
This is heaven on earth.   
After this awakening and learning how to continue accessing that Peace through direct experience of all three aspects of our being (mind/body/spirit), we personally Know ‘the end of the world’ experientially. Nothing happens to us. Nothing has any power or control over us.  All of our experiences are projections from our Soul (Source). The fear or pain we feel is acknowledgement that our Soul cannot get through to our mind or body.  It is your soul’s urging to let go of your fixation “out there.”  If we would pause and connect with this non-rational communication, our life would become miraculous!

TUNING IN

Science has already advanced to the point of rendering belief in matter to pure superstition. And we are each already experiencing many ‘miracles’ of this discovery, like the internet. The end of the Mayan calendar is the beginning of synthesizing the implications of the end of Materialism into our daily lives – how we perceive things and the choices we make. It is movement toward a tipping point in the Collective Conscious’ understanding that we are like satellite dishes.  We are tuning into our experiences and at any time we can direct the dish to ward a different location to choose a different channel and project a more enjoyable show or “reality’. 
We can choose to  our experience of the end of the material world as rapture or rupture. 
(paraphrased)
The only change that is taking place is in our awareness. It is such a subtle change, and yet its Power is beyond our comprehension. The old sources of power built on faith in materialism, limitation and separation will continue to crash around us. The energetic shift that is underway reduces the buffer of time between start and fruition of an idea. For a mind that is steeped in the intellect, the illusion of separation, belief in limited resources, and a perception of a reality ‘out there,’ these could be trying times.  The old sources of power built on faith in materialism and separation will continue to crash around us. The need to protect, deceive, control, overdo, or stress will become a self-fulling prophecy faster now.  It will seem like our thoughts are known.  Actually, they always were! We can’t fool Mother Nature. We were only fooling ourselves. Because of the buffer of time, we could not identify the cause in most of our experiences; so when someone cut us off on the highway, we felt victimized…forgetting the snipe we gave earlier that day (rude to a spouse, family member, co-worker,etc.).
More and more we will experience instant karma or instant gratification – and we will be ‘known by our fruits.’  
The love, altruism and appreciation in our hearts will be more obvious than ever. Jealousy, self-centered fear, negativity and resentment will produce like effect quickly. For a mind that is able to go with the flow, let go of the known and perceive opportunity in every apparent obstacle, this times will be increasingly effortless and joyful.
Self mastery is more important now than ever!

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

BEHAVE

Be —> Have

How you act (be) now is commensurate with the experiences (people, places & things) you will have later.

 

NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES

all-all-you-need-is-love-love-need-you-Favim.com-251875

Important to remember that railing against what you don’t want attracts more of what you don’t want.

Digging up old memories of similar situations is why history repeats itself.

 

BE THE CHANGE. NOW.

WORKPLACE WELLNESS

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

RE-MEMBER 

re+member = re-join, re-connect (i.e. sign-up)

“Always remember.”  Really?  Why?

Be certain you want to keep revisiting a memory – the energy the memory evokes is an electromagnetic attractor field.  If you cannot visit a memory without becoming sad, bitter or anxious…why would you want to attract more of it?

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

COMMANDING

people have earned personal power and authority to compel others by respecting their power and authority.

DEMANDING

people must use agency power and authority (leverage) because they repel others.

ATTENTION! Differentiate EOS from IGS

Our Emotional Operating System (EOS) is not the same as our Inner Guidance System (IGS). But, the two systems work so similarly that they are easy to confuse.

  • Emotions get our attention. They offer sensations of constriction or expansion in varying degrees of intensity according to the level of congruence between our attitude and our intention. Someone who laments having no friends may begin to feel lonely. The discomfort of loneliness indicates the futility of their attention to what is going wrong. A shift of attention to the solution and how it will feel elevates their mood and magnetism enabling them to attract what they seek.
  • Our IGS gives us access to deeper Truths beyond our preferences and conditioning. It also uses sensations of expansion and constriction to communicate with us. However, the expansive sensation associated with the peace of Truth has no vibration at all. There is no mistaking the Truth when we you feel it…Ironically what you are feeling is nothing!  However fleeting, it is a calm amid the turbulence of life caused by our attachments.

It is possible to feel the expansion of Truth and the constriction of emotional pain associated with accepting that Truth at the same time. For example, a parent might reach a sense of ‘rightness’ about weaning their child. They may know that the time has come when it is not in their child’s best interest for mom or dad to intervene, provide funds or solve a dilemma. At the same time, the parent may feel sad that the child is growing up and leaving the nest or the parent may feel anxious about trusting the outcome to the child.

To live the life of our dreams, we have two simple (not necessarily easy!) guidelines to follow:

  1. The constriction of emotional pain never trumps the expansion of peace from our Truth.
  2. Likewise, the expansive feeling from emotional pleasure never trumps a subtle constriction that may arise when we pay attention to our IGS warning us to come back into integrity. Too often we detect the fleeting tug and dismiss it in favor of the deliciousness of pleasure.  Later we palm our foreheads wondering, “Why didn’t I listen to myself?!”

The presence of Truth cannot be identified in the midst of mental chatter or emotional turbulence. To maintain our course we need to go below the surface. As needed, we allow ourselves to admit and process our emotions, fully accepting how we feel as a result of our preferences, interpretations and conditioning. Then we can release them. This enables us to get access to the perfection of our Inner Guidance System.

If we pay close attention, it is very easy to recognize Truth. It does not feel good or bad. It is still. It is open. It is expansive. It just is. We may not like it, but it is there plain as day. There is no mistaking it. This “still, small voice” is the only arbiter of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ – and it is unique to each of us. The guidance is telling us what is life affirming or debilitating. It tells us what works and doesn’t work for each one of us on a case-by-case and moment-to-basis. It tells us when our thought, word or deed or that of another is constructive or destructive for us. It is able to recognize the deception hidden in the temporary expansive feeling of emotional highs from escape mechanisms or ‘getting our way.’

Although we associate accessing Truth with stillness, it does not mean we live life in neutral. It means we process our feelings as they happen and let both the highs and lows pass in river of life. We don’t fear the waters that come or chase the waters that pass. We embrace emotions that get stuck so we can do the work to release anything that may cause coagulation and toxicity. The stillness of Truth is one of non-resistance, openness, release and surrender. We know that if the water stays still…we are dead!

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed           

INSIGHT

is the software for one who knows the observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight‘) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention.

Our constructive or destructive interpretation of what we experience determines what follows for us.    

ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE AWAKE?

Sleepwalking

When we are not living consciously we run the risk of making choices that we don’t realize are choices – on autopilot.  We become victims of our own conditioning.  Unconscious living makes us susceptible to making choices for the wrong reasons – without checking our motives.  Exhaustive research reveals that about 96% of humanity does not even realize that this is an issue, which is to say that 96% of humanity is sleepwalking.  Fewer realize that present moment conscious awareness is the single most important factor of success in life – whatever success means to each of us.  Our lives are enjoyable and rewarding to extent that we are present in it.  Being present means being aware in the moment as our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, and/or events unfold throughout our day enabling us to check-in with ourselves:

• We might ask ourselves, “Is this train of thought life-affirming, loving, in-line with my goals, worthy of me and suitable for me to share without shame?”

• We can pay attention to our IGS (my Internal Guidance System) noticing feelings of constriction or expansion within? 

• Am I acting according to what I have said and what I think?

• Is this really my thought or am I being a parrot?  

• Is this thought true?  Is it valid?  Is this a belief?  

• Do this person’s action match up with their words?  

• Does this thought or action help me or hinder my progress?  

• Why I am thinking, saying or doing this?

• Am I paying attention?  

• Am I hearing what I want to hear instead of what is really being said?  

• What was I thinking before I did this?

• Should I acknowledge what I just saw, heard, said, and/or did?

These are just a few examples of the type of insight available to one who is practicing present moment awareness.  Insight is awareness of and attention to one’s inner vision.  Insight grants us every advantage to create the life of our dreams.  Life is not happening to us.  It is happening from us.  Life is lived from the inside → out.  The observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight’) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention  – interpretation of what we are experiencing.  

When we intentionally choose our attitude each moment, and when we decide where to direct our attention & energy each moment, we choose the experiences that ensue.  People, who do not know this, keep observing and reacting to circumstances (aka: the result) with little or no sense of our responsibility for them. Unable to improve their circumstances permanently at the level of cause, they spin out in a continuous feedback loop. 

One of my clients described a scenario that illustrates this quite well.  She told me that her husband is making her crazy.  She can no longer sit with him at their son’s basketball games.  He is aggressive at best and often downright abusive.  He directs his negativity toward their son, his coach, the referees, the other players on his team, the other team, the other parents, and so on.  The tension comes home with them and has often led to family drama that continues for days.  The father is mad at the son for ‘underperforming;’ the son is mad at the father for the abuse; the wife is mad at the husband for once again disrupting the family; the husband is mad at the wife for not supporting him, etc.  

In this scenario the father keeps focusing on what the son did wrong.  The son keeps focusing on his father’s anger.  The wife keeps focusing on the pain this causing everyone.  She told me, “Yesterday, I screamed at him asking him how he could be so stupid.  Did it ever occur to him that he has done this for 13 years and it has not improved the situation one bit?  The same thing keeps happening over and over!”  I asked her if she has chastised him for as long.  She flushed.  I got my answer.  

If we keep looking at the result of negative thinking we will keep seeing things we do not like: If she could begin to change her inner dialogue to predispose her to the solution, little by little things would evolve more favorably.  If she could inspire her husband to change his perception and inner dialogue, things would have to change for the better very quickly.  The burden of stress their son carries would evaporate and his performance would be affected measurably.   All the evidence we need about stress blocking us from the zone is demonstrated for all  to see by Tiger Woods.   More importantly, the long-rage impact of support and encouragement instead of disapproval and disappointment is obvious.  

The cost of sleepwalking is devastating and the benefits of remaining alert in the present moment are so magnificent that everyone’s main goal should be learning to stay present and think constructively.

 

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

SHORT TERM GAIN = LONG TERM PAIN

Controlling people use force, manipulation or intimidation to ‘succeed.’

Leaders use personal Power, magnetism or inspiration to succeed.

Can you guess which one gets what they are seeking?

ASK NASH

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

Really?

Decide.  Intend.  Detach.

 Resignation is not a part of the formula. 

If it seems hopeless, you are micromanaging (trying to control). It is just the particular means you have chosen that is “not meant to be.”

  1. Make a general decision eliminating all other options (de-cide = to-kill).
  2. Intend to focus solely on what is in line with the vision/goal or what it will feel like when it is. Intend that you will know which actions you can take todayeffortlessly.
  3. Detach by being open to and enjoying the process – free from preconceived expectations about the who, the how, the where, the when and specifics about the what.

The goal is not in doubt. If it is your will, it is meant to be.  And, it will be – if you let it and don’t force it!

 

NASH FLASH

RELATIONSHIPS REFLECT

 

 Everywhere you go, there YOU are!

 

The quality of our relationships with others reflects the quality of our relationship with ourSelves.  If our relationships feel good, it is because we have a strong connection with our Source, our IGS (Internal Guidance System). As always, the reverse it true.  The only change, which can favorably impact any of our relationships, must occur within ourselves.

 

 Watch my blog for a link to my podcast discussing this in depth!

 

 

 

JUST RELEASED – THE ULTIMATE EXPERT Podcast # 4

I believe that under all of your formal education and social conditioning, you have an inner expert that knows what’s best for you. YOU are the ultimate expert, and this is your podcast. It’s free, it’s fun, and this week’s episode is available right now. Click on the image to listen to Episode 4

  Now Playing: Episode 4: Brandon Farrell

– OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION –

20-year-old Brandon Farrell asks about being able to control his emotions. A valuable conversations about living a meaningful life of our choosing ensues.

ASK NASH

ACTUAL REALITY BROADCASTING FOR THOSE WHO ARE ASKING
How can I get rid of my anxiety? Why am I so anxious? Why can’t I catch a break? Do we make our luck or are some people just born with it?  Will I ever have peace of mind?  Why doesn’t anyone appreciate me? I have tried everything and I just can’t seem to get there…how can I get my life where I want it to be? How can I stop this awful habit? Why can’t I leave her/him? Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I leave my job? Am I really stuck? How can I get rid of my jealousy? Is it good to be suspicious? Why does it seem like everyone is happier than me? Why do bad things happen to good people? I have been TRYING SO HARD to stay positive and I don’t see any difference – what am I doing WRONG?????