Why is it so difficult to stay present? (part 1)

  1. The brain is like a computer.  It uses the operating system and programs that the factory and or you download into it.  If you have not downloaded an Adobe Acrobat reader, a PDF file will look like this to you when you open it: ¤◊◊◊∏◊◊◊◊◊◊—∇◊∏∪◊⌈◊◊◊〈∇»Ξ∴◊◊
  2. So too with the brain.  If an experience, opinion, behavior, etc., was not in our social conditioning (programming), we will tend to dismiss it or disagree with it, and we will not be able to access the opposite without intentionally focusing and downloading a new program (behavior, perception, etc.).
  3. So the first challenge to staying present is understanding the automation in the brain that lulls us away from seeing each moment through the unbiased lens without the overlay of historical programming.  We have to want to challenge our thinking and our assumptions if we want to access the present moment and its gift of pure potential, inspiration, and Power. When we humbly accept that we have not received and downloaded all the very best hardware and software available to date, we are blessed with the  awareness that our conditioning is
    1. often causing damaging perceptions,
    2. locking us into a default operating system that uses the same coping mechanisms (programs) over and over even if they haven’t worked in the past,
    3. and producing automatic, often undesirable behaviors…

…to be continued.

I will never forget when my daughter was just two years old, as I was yelling at her for refusing to get out of her bathtub, she looked up at me and said, “Someone must have been mean to you when you were a kid.”  Oh, my….out of the mouths of babes!!!!! The blood rushed out of my head.  I had a great Mom, who also (understandably) yelled at me and my three siblings quite often.  We were a handful and she was raising us alone.  My dad died leaving her with four children under the age of 11 and she had to work full-time!  Decades later, I was a mom with none of those stressors.  But I coped with defiance as if I did have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I hated my behavior.  I wanted to be Supermom, but I couldn’t see that I was causing my life pattern to repeat by awfulizing the moment and reacting as if my hair were on fire.  I loved and still love this child more than life itself and yet, I couldn’t change because I didn’t challenge my perceptions.  I thought she was out of control, but it was really me who was out of control.  You will see in later posts that in time life forced me to examine my thinking and begin to change how I see things.  I became able to use this type of resistance to the moment to get my attention and then make a shift.  I began to captain my ship.  It took focus to turn the ship around, but my awareness that the momentum of my past course was trying to prevent me from my new direction, gave me the willingness to let go of judgments and demands of my old life.

Hold the Vision

One of my clients has a daughter who serves as a barometer for his well-being.

He came to me for guidance handling the emotional stress of divorce, being a single dad and new fiscal challenges.  He was high on a potent cocktail of resentment and fear.   When we met, he was stuck in a chain of pain that seemed as if it was manifest in his daughter. His relationship with his daughter has made my job very easy!  She was like my Cliff Notes.  Once he described what was ‘wrong’ with her, I knew how to help him arrive at his solution.  Like clockwork, when his daughter acted out, he reacted  impulsively with feelings of anger and even rage.  Then he felt engulfed by remorse for his behavior.  He told me how much he loved his daughter and didn’t want to hurt her, but….. he was just so afraid that she would end up like her mother!  Having heard about some of his former wife’s antics, I certainly understood why he hoped for something different for his daughter.  I also clearly saw why some of his daughter’s behavior would remind him of her mother and trigger his fear.  Luckily, it was easy for him to see that saying things like, “You’re just like your mother!” would not help his daughter to blossom into a woman of substance, especially since she was aware of his disdain for her mother.  But nothing was working.  He could not issue enough consequences or express enough disapproval or launch enough warning flares to get her to change.  Thank goodness.

Because of his failure to effect a change in his daughter after having exhausted every option he could imagine, by the time he came to me, he was teachable.  I explained to him H.O.W. I surmised in less than 3 minutes that he that he will have the relationship of his dreams with his daughter.  From the moment we first spoke, he was Honest, Open and Willing.  If one of those components was missing he would have had to cycle back through his pain-driven chain-reactions until he was ready to  let go.

H.O.W. can you spot a winner? They are Honest, Open and Willing.  Denial is a valuable tool of the human psyche.  It protects us when we could be overwhelmed by circumstances.  However, it will also destroy us if we are not willing to face it when it is no longer serving us.  How will you know if you are stuck in denial?  You will get repeated unpleasant feedback from your environment.  This is our inner guidance system at work letting us know it is time for another growth spurt.  Getting honest with ourselves and others allows us to change for the better…evolve.  However, honesty alone is not enough.  Openness to new ways of thinking and acting is a need for intentional change.  I like the expression, “My best thinking got me here.”   Until you are open to see that your way of processing events is no longer working for you, you will keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.  Lastly, winners are willing to change.  They don’t feel like a failure when their way didn’t work.  They are excited to find and try a different way of thinking or acting that will give them what they want.  You will know they are willing by their actions.  There is no other way to show willingness.  Period.

Coming to me, who another one of my clients calls her tormentor,  as you process another of life’s growth opportunities, is almost a guarantee that you know H.O.W. it works!  I say that in humility and with a big smile on my face because I know that just showing up to hear me say, “You are the problem'” is an act of willingness!   Someone once told me that he hated me for more than a year because I wrote on a 3×5 card “I AM THE PROBLEM,” and told him to tape it to his mirror.  But, he never forgot it.  And, he knew that my motives were pure and helpful.  So, gradually he became open to try to understand what I meant.  That is when he realized that if he is the problem, then he is also the solution!.  Oprah calls that an “Aha moment.”  In the case of my client with the daughter issues, when he understood his role in real-izing her ‘flaws,’  his behavior changed immediately.   I showed him how to define the exact nature of his objections.  Once he identified the problem in her, I directed him within asking, “How is this a mirror of you?”  He began to notice that if he didn’t  do what was necessary to take care of himself with loving compassion, his daughter would show risky behavior.  If he was too hard on himself, she may have a cutting relapse.  If he was being judgmental or resentful, she would judge him, resent his ‘flaws,’ and ignore him for weeks.

Realizing that she is a reflection of his spiritual fitness, he  began to change his behavior with her and made great changes with his internal dialogue. Of course he had his moments of  ‘two-steps forward and one step backward,’ but that is life.  No one ever gets through life without what they perceive as a misstep.  When we are honest about the events that came before a little slip backwards, we prevent a mindless slide back into that powerless chain of pain.  Honesty allows us to correct course. Every so-called step backwards can serve as the catalyst to move us even further forward…. if we don’t stare at it and blow it out of proportion.

Meditation is a microcosm of life – as well access to pure awareness of the Source of life.  In a meditative retreat our awareness of the stimulus of life slips  to the silence of pure Source awareness.  We come out of  silent Source awareness feeling refreshed and ready for anything.  The brief retreats in life that we call setbacks, give us the fuel or motivation for forward motion.  The ancients liken it to an archer pulling back on his bow with the arrow.  That retreat gives the arrow all the dynamism for its flight.  Lamenting losses , missteps, etc. is like trying to shoot an arrow without the tension of backwards motion.

Demonstrating great skill with one of my favorite tools, the mirror of life and relationship, my client began to see major changes in his relationship with his daughter.  In time, he actually saw major changes in her.  He began to notice that the connection between his attitude and his experiences ran deep indeed.  When he assumed responsibility and gained response-ability for his experiences, he stopped all blame. When  his daughter dented their expensive car, he conveyed his relief and gratitude that his priceless daughter wasn’t damaged.  In the past she may not have been hurt in the car accident but the invisible damage her father would have caused by overreacting would have affected her indefinitely.  Instead, he gave her a huge hug and helped her come up with a plan to pay for the damages  – resisting his impulse to take care of everything himself.  He gave her the ability to assume responsibility for the events of her life!  The pain in her pocketbook was a small price to pay for the empowerment she received by her father’s respect. His compassionate, tempered response felt like trust to his daughter, which is quite different from approval for doing  the ‘right’ way  or being ‘good enough.’

That wasn’t the last time she did something that would have made his head spin in the past.  In fact, a few events followed that I am not sure I would have been able to handle without a lot of  fear and some regrettable behavior.  But, he held the vision. He used Joel Osteen’s trick:  When someone we love misbehaves, instead of  highlighting or inflaming the situation by rehashing and shaming, simply accept what happened and then silently say, “Subject to change!”  Then quickly get back to your vision of this person at their best.  Refuse to dwell anywhere else.  This loving dad did just that in the face of some very trying situations. I remember being in awe of his growth and humbled by his devotion.   Before I could catch my breath he began regaling me with the most joyous stories of her transformation.  Because of his unconditional love and acceptance, she began to feel worthy.  She started to take better care of herself.  She acted with poise and dignity.  She was beginning to impress and humble him as he had done with me.  I have the greatest job I can imagine!

POST MAYAN CALENDAR MISINTERPRETATION MESS

THE END OF THE WORLD

THE END OF THE WORLD

The end of the world is an oxymoron.  How can something end, if it never began?  What has  been ending is our belief  in matter.  In Sanskrit the term “Maya” means illusion. The end of the Mayan calendar is the end of the illusion of the world − the end of the illusion of time and space. We already know and have known for thousands of years that matter does not exist. What we believe is solid is actually energy and information vibrating at the speed of light. Our nervous system cannot process data at this speed; so it gives us an illusory experience much like the way films make a series of still frames seem like fluid movement. We have also known that there is no such thing as time. All we have is the present; everything else exists in our imagination only.

What we experience as the world is an illusion, a trick of the senses.

In our lifetime the prevailing languages of this phenomenon are science and technology. The knowledge underlying both paradigms also underlies the languages of art, religion, philosophy and love. It also underlies language itself, which is why I am so fascinated by etymology. The scientific and technological paradigms are so exciting and beneficial to our human experience…provided we don’t allow them to enable the ‘lie’ and become dependent on them. We must understand the implications of the fundamental knowledge underlying every paradigm – especially now after the end of the Mayan Calendar.

What comes after the end?

After the end is the realization of eternity. The end of the Mayan calendar is the beginning of awareness of oneself as an eternal present moment experiencer. We stop identifying ourselves with our experiences and the objects of our perception. We begin to understand matter as movement of energy and information on the screen of our imagination. This is like snapping out of terror, anxiety or deep sadness as we watch a movie and remember that this is only a projection; we regain peace of mind because we know we have a choice.  We can leave the theater, change the film, or ride it out to see what happens.  We remember that we are there for our enjoyment. In our personal lives we begin to relax in the knowledge that what we call “reality” is a projection of our consciousness as a result of our focusing with such intensity that its density now appears to us if it is in formation.

We must stay present to avoid being tricked into the belief that what is “out there” is happening to us or has any power over us. When we are present, we see ourselves focusing everything into existence. When we are present, we know if we are choosing a constructive or destructive focus. When we are present, we know we can arbitrarily choose a different perspective or interpretation that feels better, more loving, empowered, and aligned with us. We can choose to respond to an insult with compassion instead of reacting with more toxicity. That tiny shift chosen from the position of present moment power – free from the powerless enslavement of past conditioning – empowers us to create a different experience that will have a strong foundation. Therefore, when we are present, the outcome is not in doubt. Ultimately then, when we are in the present, we are not afraid; we lose interest in controlling outcomes or people. We also know that no person, place, circumstance or thing has any control over us.

For people who have learned to let go of any false power (titles, positions, degrees, wealth) and joyously step into true Power, this will be a miraculous transition. We don’t give up the titles, or the positions, degrees or wealth. We just give up the illusion of their power to give us what we want. Rather, we have all of those things as a result our demonstration of true Power, which affords us authentic, joyful focus in the present moment…eternally. For those who cannot or will not apply this to their daily living, this could be a bumpy ride.

Henry Reed describes the different approaches as a choice to experience the shift as rapture or rupture. I love that.

Science and technology gave us the Internet as a result of this knowledge that everything is energy and information coming from one source that is accessible from any and every pinpoint of space and time. The invisible interconnected web of existence that had been inaccessible to the majority of humanity arose in physical form via a computer that mimicked it. We simply focus the computer according to what we want to experience and… voila! It is crucial to understand that this knowledge of the Truth of Oneness is what gave birth to the idea of the Internet. At this time when the illusion of form and separation are breaking down, we need a clear understanding of our own ability to tap into and create from this same source. We also have instant access to this seemingly miraculous, instantaneous information and power. Unlike a computer, we can originate. We can choose what we will experience with and without a computer. The miracle of this awakening is the understanding that if we shift our focus, we shift our experience. We can look at the same person, place, thing or experience with a different perspective. This will change the energy and information of what we are experiencing and its nature must change as well, as if we are photoshopping our experiences.

Please understand that in this post Mayan Calendar atmosphere, this seemingly subtle nuance will have cataclysmic impact on your future.  The intangible shift from perceiving reality as something that happens to you to from you, opens the path to joy, freedom and pure rapture as  you navigate what might  seem like rupture or destruction to  those who have depended on  the old paradigm.  If you don’t see the impact of your perceptions, you are not paying close enough attention. Termites do more damage annually than all natural disasters combined. When a butterfly flaps its wings as it flies in an area off the tip of Africa….

Tune in later in the week for some clear examples of how the shift is experienced as rapture or rupture as well as important tools to make choosing rapture effortless…

GOD REST THEIR SOULS

blessings36

Dear Lord, Help us to understand our bullies need LOVE and direction NOT disapproval & rejection!

 

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

RE-MEMBER 

re+member = re-join, re-connect (i.e. sign-up)

“Always remember.”  Really?  Why?

Be certain you want to keep revisiting a memory – the energy the memory evokes is an electromagnetic attractor field.  If you cannot visit a memory without becoming sad, bitter or anxious…why would you want to attract more of it?

CONTROL ISSUES

Just before Christmas when I was 7 years old my dad died and I experienced a life altering paradigm shift.  It was as if the curtains closed at the end of an act on the stage of my life and when they reopened, the scenery had completely changed leaving me feeling unsafe and bewildered.  As a result, I can rationalize, deny and forget anything.  It is a mechanism I employed to make sense my unfathomable reality.  It helped me survive the grief and terror that threatened my sanity for decades and felt life threatening.  I thought I was safe in my head even though I knew on some subconscious level that I didn’t feel safe.  This ‘survival’ mechanism carried me until I was 35 years old when it backfired for the last time.

At the age of 35 I experienced another paradigm shift.  I could no longer escape my reality. I had to embark on that treacherous journey from my head, where I rationalized my experiences, to my heart, where I began realizing them.  When I ‘surrendered’ and began processing my crippling feelings of grief, rage, shame, resentment, etc., something amazing happened.  I learned that the seemingly miraculous solution to any of my ‘problems’ is contained within my deepest fears! When I began to feel the feelings I had resisted, I made some critical discoveries:

  1. That which I resist persists.
  2. My emotions won’t kill me.
  3. Emotions are simply energy in motion.

    EMOTION = Energy in Motion

  4. My emotions they cannot pass if I resist/deny/stuff/block them.
  5. When I feel my feelings, I can release them and drop my ‘baggage.’
  6. Once I process the emotion, I discover that “peace that passes all understanding” rationally.
  7. Established in this peace of mind I am able to and I want to stay in present moment awareness.
  8. The Intelligence and the Power that creates worlds exists only in the present moment.
  9. Connected to that Power – my fears slip away and I gain ‘control’ of my life.
  10. When I feel a constricting emotion it is my sign that I am shutting down, resisting my experience, and cutting myself off from the Power to change that  undesirable experience .
  11. When I accept the experience as it is, I return to the present and the Power it has.  A feeling of expansion results.
  12. The ‘control’ (over my thoughts, words, deeds and experiences) that I craved was in my Awareness all along!
  13. As long as I was looking for that Power and Control over my life ‘out there,’ it would remain illusive.
  14. This EOS  (Emotional Operating System) is my infallible IGS – Internal Guidance System.  If I remain aware and pay attention to it, it will guide me to the life of my dreams and deepest desires.

I can think of many examples in life when I ignored the wisdom of my IGS and paid a steep price.  One obvious example was in my early twenties when I took a job as a mortgage-backed securities bond broker.  I was about to become the only woman on a dog-eat-dog bond-trading floor.  I had many reasons for taking the job despite a nagging ‘sinking’ feeling.  I was unable to show up for my first week on the job because I had colitis, which in retrospect was my IGS on overdrive, desperately trying to get my attention.  I had stuffed every emotion that surfaced before and after taking the job because I was in survival mode.  I felt that I had to stuff the grief associated with selling my soul to survive because I believed I had to take that job.  The disease I developed as a result of my dis-ease with my decision forced me stop physically.  But since I refused to stop mentally long enough to just be in the present moment, I delayed my discovery of true Power.

I was extremely ‘successful” and convinced myself that I was in control (happy, safe and secure).  I went on compromising my integrity for years saying and doing things that made me so uncomfortable I could hardly stand in my skin…another feeling I worked at denying !  Every year it became more difficult to contain all the trapped energy of my repressed emotions.  Finally at age 35, I reached the tipping point. Choices I made (albeit unconsciously) resulted in a situation that I would typically have denied, but at that particular moment, I could not house another emotion without imploding.  As a result, I accepted reality in the moment and suddenly, in touch with true Power, all my walls collapsed instantly and I stepped into this new miraculous paradigm.

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed           

INSIGHT

is the software for one who knows the observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight‘) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention.

Our constructive or destructive interpretation of what we experience determines what follows for us.    

ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE AWAKE?

Sleepwalking

When we are not living consciously we run the risk of making choices that we don’t realize are choices – on autopilot.  We become victims of our own conditioning.  Unconscious living makes us susceptible to making choices for the wrong reasons – without checking our motives.  Exhaustive research reveals that about 96% of humanity does not even realize that this is an issue, which is to say that 96% of humanity is sleepwalking.  Fewer realize that present moment conscious awareness is the single most important factor of success in life – whatever success means to each of us.  Our lives are enjoyable and rewarding to extent that we are present in it.  Being present means being aware in the moment as our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, and/or events unfold throughout our day enabling us to check-in with ourselves:

• We might ask ourselves, “Is this train of thought life-affirming, loving, in-line with my goals, worthy of me and suitable for me to share without shame?”

• We can pay attention to our IGS (my Internal Guidance System) noticing feelings of constriction or expansion within? 

• Am I acting according to what I have said and what I think?

• Is this really my thought or am I being a parrot?  

• Is this thought true?  Is it valid?  Is this a belief?  

• Do this person’s action match up with their words?  

• Does this thought or action help me or hinder my progress?  

• Why I am thinking, saying or doing this?

• Am I paying attention?  

• Am I hearing what I want to hear instead of what is really being said?  

• What was I thinking before I did this?

• Should I acknowledge what I just saw, heard, said, and/or did?

These are just a few examples of the type of insight available to one who is practicing present moment awareness.  Insight is awareness of and attention to one’s inner vision.  Insight grants us every advantage to create the life of our dreams.  Life is not happening to us.  It is happening from us.  Life is lived from the inside → out.  The observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight’) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention  – interpretation of what we are experiencing.  

When we intentionally choose our attitude each moment, and when we decide where to direct our attention & energy each moment, we choose the experiences that ensue.  People, who do not know this, keep observing and reacting to circumstances (aka: the result) with little or no sense of our responsibility for them. Unable to improve their circumstances permanently at the level of cause, they spin out in a continuous feedback loop. 

One of my clients described a scenario that illustrates this quite well.  She told me that her husband is making her crazy.  She can no longer sit with him at their son’s basketball games.  He is aggressive at best and often downright abusive.  He directs his negativity toward their son, his coach, the referees, the other players on his team, the other team, the other parents, and so on.  The tension comes home with them and has often led to family drama that continues for days.  The father is mad at the son for ‘underperforming;’ the son is mad at the father for the abuse; the wife is mad at the husband for once again disrupting the family; the husband is mad at the wife for not supporting him, etc.  

In this scenario the father keeps focusing on what the son did wrong.  The son keeps focusing on his father’s anger.  The wife keeps focusing on the pain this causing everyone.  She told me, “Yesterday, I screamed at him asking him how he could be so stupid.  Did it ever occur to him that he has done this for 13 years and it has not improved the situation one bit?  The same thing keeps happening over and over!”  I asked her if she has chastised him for as long.  She flushed.  I got my answer.  

If we keep looking at the result of negative thinking we will keep seeing things we do not like: If she could begin to change her inner dialogue to predispose her to the solution, little by little things would evolve more favorably.  If she could inspire her husband to change his perception and inner dialogue, things would have to change for the better very quickly.  The burden of stress their son carries would evaporate and his performance would be affected measurably.   All the evidence we need about stress blocking us from the zone is demonstrated for all  to see by Tiger Woods.   More importantly, the long-rage impact of support and encouragement instead of disapproval and disappointment is obvious.  

The cost of sleepwalking is devastating and the benefits of remaining alert in the present moment are so magnificent that everyone’s main goal should be learning to stay present and think constructively.

 

AWFUL-IZING

The other day I received a phone call that gave me pause.  Someone I know quite well was pleading with me to vote for the presidential candidate of their choosing.  They had seen videos and heard expert testimony about the perils that will befall our country if the other guy wins the election.  I have seen this sort of projection on myriad topics, many of which fall within the purview of a candidate’s platform. Topics ranging from healthcare, to global economics, to environmental policies, education and morality are a wellspring of catastrophic predictions on either end of the spectrum.  I gave my usual response:

  • The act of noticing the relationship between cause and effect is realization.
  • Paying attention to any aspect  of cause and effect (potential or actual) with strong emotion and/or absolute certainty (belief) is the process of real-ization.  WE make it real or perpetuate it.  Our attention transforms potential to actual/real.  Knock and the door will open.  Seek and ye shall find. 
  • This is the fulfillment of The Law of Attraction.  What we call ‘reality’ is actually bundles of like energy & information vibrating at the speed of light held together by a force we call electromagnetism. 
  • We attract our experiences. Like attracts like. The outcome is determined by the observer’s expectation.. That is why science uses double-blind studies and placebos. It is also why they cannot get a certain predictable outcome…ever.
  • Paying attention to what is not wanted is equal to asking for it
  • We are not here to fix.  We are here to CREATE. 
  • Let it be.  Accept.  Contribute with a positive, loving vision with unwavering faith in the goodness of all.  It is possible to be of service and value in EVERY situation without having to denigrate what is or who is doing what! You will like what you see.  I promise.

These Truths are undeniable and inescapable.  They agree with every religion, philosophy, science, tradition, experience, etc.  They need as much belief as electricity.  Having awakened to this reality, I marvel at how I can ever fall back to sleep!  Having once been blind, why do I ever choose not to see again for a time?  It begins when I puff with the pride of ‘righteous’ thinking.  It is my old nemesis, that ignorant perception, which urges me to judge captiously making me think I know better or am better than another.  It is always followed by a faint twinge, a constriction, or uneasiness. 

 

Thankfully I know now that my discomfort is my IGS (Inner Guidance System) alerting me to the fact that I am real-izing what I do not want.  I need to stop fault-finding and recognize that my thinking is wrong.  I am at once profoundly appreciative of the fact that I can never be permanently lost again.  I know the way out of my messes now.  Fortunately, I no longer stay in the discord and can re-awaken. Then, if I have taken my ignorance to the point where an apology or amends is necessary, I do so promptly and get back to the business of joyously creating my vision.

 

The person that placed that persuasive phone call to me replied with a very familiar caveat explaining that after years of listening to me sing this refrain, finally embracing these Truths was life-changing; BUT this political situation is scary, urgent, and it is a reality!  That is like saying gravity applies to small items and not large ones.  Many of my clients are ‘successful’ individuals who know these Truths and revere the great masters and agree whole-heartedly with that which is undeniable and yet they defend ‘justifiable resentments,’ embrace a sweatshop mentality with regard to work, believe in competition, compromise themselves and their hearts desire for ‘security,’ and beat themselves up for missteps, etc. 

 

It is important to discern and make choices.  That is why we are alive.  In order to experience the joy of creating, it is necessary to make choices – that make us feel loving, open, inclusive and expansive.  Any sense of physical or emotional constriction is your sign that you are momentarily on a path to destruction.  Let go for a moment.  Release what you are resisting.  You will be creating/contributing again in an instant.  You can create the life of your choosing…adhering to this simple formula. If you make a habit of shifting your perception from positive to negative, denigration to elevation, destruction to creation, etc. and observe the results, you will know that this Truth is self-evident.  

 

I will enter the voting booth in November and make the choice that seems  most in line with my vision of joy and peace at the time – knowing the only thing that really matters is that I elevate all that I behold and nurture a vision of joy and peace and love regardless of who is “in charge!”  How reassuring to know that this is not wishful, Pollyanna thinking…that the science is there to back it up.  The Beatles are absolutely correct.  All you need is love.

 

RIGHT IS DEAD WRONG

  • Do you know someone who ‘needs’ to be right?
  • Have you ever felt like you won an argument?
  • Have you ever argued for your point of view?
  • Have you ever accepted proof as the arbiter of right and wrong?
  • Have you ever changed your mind?
  • Do you see Albert Einstein in the picture above?
  • Can you prove you saw Albert Einstein?
  • Can you see Marilyn Monroe in the picture above?
  • Can you prove you saw Marilyn Monroe?
  • Can you see Albert Einstein and Marilyn Monroe at the same time?
  • If I see Einstein and you see Marilyn, who is right?
Ironically, being right is a sign of ignorance. 

 

NASH FLASH

RELATIONSHIPS REFLECT

 

 Everywhere you go, there YOU are!

 

The quality of our relationships with others reflects the quality of our relationship with ourSelves.  If our relationships feel good, it is because we have a strong connection with our Source, our IGS (Internal Guidance System). As always, the reverse it true.  The only change, which can favorably impact any of our relationships, must occur within ourselves.

 

 Watch my blog for a link to my podcast discussing this in depth!

 

 

 

NASH FLASH

 BELIEVING IS SEEING

 

 Therefore, when we believe that seeing is believing, the notion that history repeats itself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy by default.

Out-of-the box thinkers, visionaries, true leaders and Powerful people don’t look to history to decide our future.

 

WHO ARE YOU?

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JUST RELEASED – THE ULTIMATE EXPERT Podcast # 4

I believe that under all of your formal education and social conditioning, you have an inner expert that knows what’s best for you. YOU are the ultimate expert, and this is your podcast. It’s free, it’s fun, and this week’s episode is available right now. Click on the image to listen to Episode 4

  Now Playing: Episode 4: Brandon Farrell

– OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION –

20-year-old Brandon Farrell asks about being able to control his emotions. A valuable conversations about living a meaningful life of our choosing ensues.

Week 1: TOOLS – What You Need to Know

“Knowledge has infinite organizing power.”

−Deepak Chopra

I will be posting some important points to ponder over the coming days as you expect my next video blog, when I will introduce the first tool/discipline required to gain control over your thoughts, words and deeds:

The first point: THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS.

The brain is a non-conscious organ that functions like a computer processing ONLY what it can with the programs  installed on it.  If the brain has not been given the software to process information (through formal education and/or socializing), it computes the material as nonsense, much like a pc would read a Word document without the Microsoft Word™ program installed. The document is not nonsense simply because our pc doesn’t have the programming to understand it.  It is, however, nonsense to dismiss the document as nonsense!  There are many ways to compensate for different operating systems and programs so that the facts on the page, which remain absolute regardless of processor, are comprehensible by all.  Likewise, when we judge others and dismiss their opinions and actions, we are the fools.  Their experience is very real for them and we may miss some valuable information if we don’t make the effort to bridge the gap between our different programming and conditioning/socializing.

What are some examples of this phenomenon that you have experienced? Have you ever changed your mind?  Have you ever strongly disagreed with someone (your parents, perhaps) and marveled at your alignment with them years later?  If you have ever once changed your mind, you  know that believing you are right about anything is not sound.

Another example is religious disdain or worse yet, intolerance.  The fact that a religion works for one group of people doesn’t indicate that no other religion is has value; yet, we see countless examples of judgments without thorough comprehension.

When we are ‘unteachable,’ closed-minded or attached to the way things have always been, we subject ourselves to varying degrees of limitation, irrelevance and isolation as if we refuse to upgrade various hardware or software for a computer.  This is true for the most intelligent of as well as the least!  I saw a conversation on Larry King between Stephen Hawkin and Deepak Chopra and realized that for all of his genius, Stephen Hawking was actually dismissing Deepak Chopra’s claims because they had not been his experience.  Additionally, he had never even tried to gain that experience!

We must be open to the experiences of others, challenge our comfort zone, and  embrace change to evolve.  I’m not sure where I first heard this expression, but I sure do love it:

“When I am alone in my mind, I am in enemy territory.”

−Unknown

Free Introduction to Meditation

Sunday, October 30, 2011  

The Center for Relaxation & Healing  Chatham,NJ

Alternatively, you may join us live via teleconference.

You choose!  Simply make your selection on the registration page. The details of the teleconference can be found when you register.  Please feel free to invite as many friends as you like and forward this announcement to anyone yoiu know that may benefit from this information.

Stressed?  Anxious?

OverloadOver-thinking?  Angry?  Pressured?

  • Learn why meditation is so important for well-being and peace of mind.
  • Decide whether level one or leveltwo is the most appropriate choice for you:
    1. Simply and effectively change the way you feel employing various medataive relaxation techniques.
    2. Discover the seemingly miraculous, life-changing benefits of a formal meditation practice.
  • 30 minutes will be devoted to Q&A and/or guided meditation as time allows.

Register Now!

NASH FLASH

The unknown is our playground. 

The known is our graveyard.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

PERCEPTION

It’s not about you.

It is also all about you!

What others think of you, say about you or how they treat you, has nothing to do with you.

What we think, say and do is who we are. 

When we are in denial, we project it onto others.

How you perceive and react to others is a reflection of you. 

For example, reacting in anger to an affront is unconscious agreement with it, 

while reacting with compassion is awareness of oneself on a loftier plane .

 

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

May the Force be with you.”

May YOU be with the Force!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

INDEPENDENCE

In-dependence
of each other,
our environment
and a higher power,
free from control.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

A mis-perception of independence as a human being

will cause hubris, ignorance of the fact that we are actually

in dependence of something greater than ourselves.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

LUCK

is a dismissive word describing a result of a force of Nature

that science hasn’t been able to fully explain or quantify.

~ Intention ~ 

The cumulative effect of optimism, gratitude, faith, focus, commitment,

and action (simple forward movement as opposed to force or strain),

can attract spontaneous results that the ego labels “chance,””co-incidence,”  “miraculous.”

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

AMENDS

made begrudgingly, without sincerity, or for some ulterior motive (e.g. to ‘keep the peace’)

will mend nothing.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

SELF-SABOTAGE

is the unintended result of two misguided motives:
resentment and people-pleasing

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASHFLASH

MINDFULNESS

becomes a top priority, when one fully understands that form follows thought,
regardless of the thinker’s intention.
We reap what we sew in thought, word and deed, the most potent of which, is thought!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

APRIL MEDITATION SEMINAR BEGINS SUNDAY 4.3.2011

meditation

Stress is the root of all dysfunction in our lives, physically, emotionally or socially. Proper meditation is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress, along with a sense of purpose and meaningful relationships (with ourselves as well as others). With Laura’s guidance, you will learn to effortlessly meditate your way to:
• gain mastery over your inner dialogue
• acquire peace of mind
• sharpen your focus and mental clarity
• improve relationships on all levels (intimate, familial, social and business)
• maintain balance and calm through adversity
• choose your circumstances instead of reacting to them
• experience a profound sense of satisfaction and fullment day to day
• live a life of meaning and purpose

For more information or to register, click the link below:

 

Click here for details.

 

 

 

NASH FLASH

DEFENSELESSNESS

Not having to win… IS winning!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

Nash Flash

FEAR OF CHANGE

is the result of identifying ourselves with the roles we play,

our relationships, where we live and how we do things.

It comes from defining ourselves by our possessions.

The greater the depth of our connection to ourSelves, the One having these experiences,
the less we fear losing them.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

No Fool for Love

The Power of Love

Ironically, following the path of Love is the only route to true, sustainable power.  Seeking power through control and/or domination over people, places and things usually works…temporarily. This behavior can, and usually does, provide instant gratification and a [false] sense of security. The thrill of “success” releases endorphins and the association between domination and pleasure gets wired in our nervous system! The problem with this type of power is that it in not sustainable.  In addition, exacting power by deflating and depleting others comes with a very steep price.  Requiring constant vigilance, it is exhausting and inefficient. Neither the jailer nor the prisoner is free. Furthermore, what seems on the surface like a win, is in fact, another step closer to utter failure. The animus released every time someone loses in order that another prospers builds like an untreated disease. The power-grabber ultimately gets taken down one way or another, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.   Addicted to instant gratification and demonstrable, measurable cause and effect, the power addict usually slips into a comfortable denial, utterly incapable of recognizing direct responsibility for their dis-ease.   The person who is motivated by empowering and inspiring others has true Power. Individuals with this expansive perspective stand out in sharp contrast to the constriction felt around takers.  These individuals have magnetism – the power of attraction.  They listen to their inner guide (aka conscience)- which will ALWAYS make the loving, empowering choice.  The resulting goodwill from others as well as their own self-respect multiplies.  The subtle impact of their generosity pays dividends all the days of their lives.  It is the fool that doesn’t engage the power o Love in all human interaction.

NASH FLASH

FAMILIAR TERRITORY

is a cruel lover.  Seduced by its deceptive appeal, we stifle our soul and pretend to be alive.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

Don’t Like Reality? Change It

What does reality mean to you? Although it sounds like the question has an obvious answer, if you ask five different people, you’ll get five very different, very unique answers. Our choices, preferences, upbringing and past experiences all play a part in coloring our perception of reality. In turn, those perceptions manifest the reality we perceive.

 

As an example, let’s look at an employee in conflict with his boss. He requested that his boss tend to a situation that directly impacted him, ASAP. When his boss didn’t respond immediately, he took it personally. He was very angry that his boss did not take the time to communicate with him clearly and resolve the problem in a timely manner.

 

He reacted to what he perceived as a snub, with emotion – anger. Ultimately, he got what he wanted from his boss. However, he was filled with remorse for his behavior. He knew that he had sown seeds that would cause him to reap a bitter harvest at some future date.

 

In truth, the boss was entrenched in a system of poor communication and the lack of timely response had absolutely nothing to do with the employee. The employee was valued. No one in the firm ever got a direct response. There was dysfunction in the system.

 

By taking the situation personally the employee viewed current events through the lens of his memories of having been marginalized in the past. Because he could not evaluate the situation independently of his personal history – he reacted in a way that engenders disrespect. Rather than stop the cycle with new behavior, he made another contribution to this self-perpetuated reality further distancing himself from his desire to be respected and acknowledged.

 

This is the prison of Karma. Somewhere in his past our employee made a decision that life is unfair and people overlook him. When our thinking or interpretation of a situation leads us to negative emotions, which lead us to non-supporting actions, we have no power or control over our lives. We are trapped in the memory of interpretations of past events which have nothing to do with the current situation, the present moment.

 

One powerful way to bypass the prison of your own perspective is to consciously observe your thoughts, emotions and actions. Challenge your interpretation of events instead of justifying them. Communicate truthfully with yourself and others. Try this exercise the next time you find yourself suddenly recreating past negative patterns:

 

1. Ask yourself, “What just happened?” Describe the incident without judgment.

 

2. Observe your feelings without evaluating them. Be sure to distinguish your thoughts from feelings. For example, don’t say “I feel as if you should have known better” when the truth is “I feel sad.” Sadness is a feeling; feeling that someone should have known better is a thought.

 

3. Take responsibility for your feelings. What others say to us may be the stimulus for how we feel, but it’s never the cause. We choose to feel a certain way based on the interpretation we give to their comment. Do not accept judgment from others or blame them. Begin to focus on your own feelings and acknowledge your needs, desires, expectations, values and thoughts.

 

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need, and use positive language when making requests. Instead of blaming your spouse for your feelings of neglect, try saying “Honey, I’m sad that you spend so much time at the office, but I really enjoy it when you have dinner at home with the kids and me. I would love if you would come home early enough to have dinner with us at least one night a week.” Clearly requesting what you want is much more effective than accusing your spouse of spending too much time at the office and casting blame for not spending enough time with the family. Can you feel the difference?

It’s not easy erasing negative karma, and you may find yourself slipping more than once. But remember that this is a lifelong process, and every new day provides plenty of opportunity for you to change your perspective — and, by extension, your reality.

NASH FLASH

INTENTION

The Intelligence responsible for all experience is literal and exact. It does not discern a loftier intention from sarcasm or self-deprecating humor.

Your words become self-fulfilling prophecy.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

BLAME

This is a tool of the ignorant.  When two magnets are drawn together, which magnet is at fault?

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

That which we appreciate, appreciates

Appreciation is the alchemy that literally transforms the substance of matter. What you value will actually become more valuable.

The reverse is also true!

  • TREAT your kids as if you appreciate everything about them and they will give you more and more to appreciate.
  • TREAT your wife like she is supremely beautiful inside and out and you will be rewarded by her radiance!
  • TREAT your husband like he is the most competent, generous, loving partner on the planet and you will be the envy of all.
  • TREAT yourself like you are not worthy, by tolerating anything less than this from others or from yourself, and you will experience none of the above.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

Surrender to win

When we cease fighting, surrender our point of view, accept the present moment and let go absolutely, we open ourselves to a new vision.  We ascertain the miracle that could not be recognized through our myopia.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

Change is the only constant.

We live in a state of flux. Potential (unknown) only becomes actual (known) in the present moment.  Life – manifestation – only exists in this gap between the known and the unknown – the present moment. Fear of change is fear of life.  Avoiding change is a decision to die.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

Judge not.

judgement v. assessment
Assessment is vital to life.  We do it, as we must for our well-being, all day long.  Judgement is toxic to life.  Skewed by self-seeking motives, it is assessment’s impostor.
Simple acid test for discerning a judgement from an assessment:
Are you feeling emotionally charged?

NASH FLASH

There is no one to blame

If you are enduring problems with your boss, your staff, lover, family or friends YOU need to change! When the N Pole and S Pole of two magnets cleave to each other, they are each 100% responsible for the situation.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

Your relationships will only be as rewarding/profitable as your investment into them.

Carlos Slim, wealthiest man on the planet, built his empire investing in HUMAN capital and teaching business owners to do the same…at NO cost to his biggest account: his family!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

You May Say I’m A Dreamer, But I’m Not the Only One…

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but something has held you back? Every time you want to break out of your self-imposed mould, that tiny yet powerful voice in the back of your head known as “doubt” seeps into your consciousness and starts providing dozens of reasons why it’s impossible. “Dreams sound nice, but reality doesn’t work that way,” we tell ourselves, and put that incredible world-changing idea we had on the shelf because it wasn’t “practical”.

But what is reality…in reality? Who determines what reality is?

When you break your current life down into its essential components, the truth is our perception impacts our reality, which in turn reflects our perception. Buddhism describes this concept as “esho funi”, which means “the oneness of life and environment”. Basically, the environment and our lives are inseparable. Our environment is our life, a reflection of everything we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Even the people we associate with reflect our inner thoughts and feelings.

In other words, too often we’re wrapped up in the idea that we have no control over our circumstances, when we’re actually the ones who created those circumstances in the first place.

Why don’t we believe we can affect our reality? Because we only see the world as our five senses process it, causing us to be attached to the way things have always been done. We only understand the “known”–that which has been seen before. And we know the mind wants to protect us from getting hurt, so it does not want to wander into uncharted territory! Therefore, we fall prey to our protective conditioned mind’s old beliefs and thoughts that repeatedly churn out ideas to keep us from moving into the unknown Do these phrases sound familiar?

You don’t have enough time.”

You’re the wrong gender.”

You could never succeed.”

You’re too old.”

It’s too late to start.”

Money does not come easily.”

That industry doesn’t pay well.”

Buying into these excuses limits us from our full potential, and thwarts any valid chance to affect our reality in a profound way. It is much more effective to first believe it because then you will see it. Once we learn to understand the value in ourselves and our dreams, and begin to take steps towards fulfilling those dreams, we will see “esho funi” at work as our environment becomes a brighter place to live—a seemingly inexplicable change to those who knew us before when we felt helpless and overwhelmed!