I believe that under all of your formal education and social conditioning, you have an inner expert that knows what’s best for you. YOU are the ultimate expert, and this is your podcast. It’s free, it’s fun, and this week’s episode is available right now. Click on the image to listen to Episode 4
Now Playing: Episode 4: Brandon Farrell
– OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION –
20-year-old Brandon Farrell asks about being able to control his emotions. A valuable conversations about living a meaningful life of our choosing ensues.
“Knowledge has infinite organizing power.”
I will be posting some important points to ponder over the coming days as you expect my next video blog, when I will introduce the first tool/discipline required to gain control over your thoughts, words and deeds:
The first point: THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS.
The brain is a non-conscious organ that functions like a computer processing ONLY what it can with the programs installed on it. If the brain has not been given the software to process information (through formal education and/or socializing), it computes the material as nonsense, much like a pc would read a Word document without the Microsoft Word™ program installed. The document is not nonsense simply because our pc doesn’t have the programming to understand it. It is, however, nonsense to dismiss the document as nonsense! There are many ways to compensate for different operating systems and programs so that the facts on the page, which remain absolute regardless of processor, are comprehensible by all. Likewise, when we judge others and dismiss their opinions and actions, we are the fools. Their experience is very real for them and we may miss some valuable information if we don’t make the effort to bridge the gap between our different programming and conditioning/socializing.
What are some examples of this phenomenon that you have experienced? Have you ever changed your mind? Have you ever strongly disagreed with someone (your parents, perhaps) and marveled at your alignment with them years later? If you have ever once changed your mind, you know that believing you are right about anything is not sound.
Another example is religious disdain or worse yet, intolerance. The fact that a religion works for one group of people doesn’t indicate that no other religion is has value; yet, we see countless examples of judgments without thorough comprehension.
When we are ‘unteachable,’ closed-minded or attached to the way things have always been, we subject ourselves to varying degrees of limitation, irrelevance and isolation as if we refuse to upgrade various hardware or software for a computer. This is true for the most intelligent of as well as the least! I saw a conversation on Larry King between Stephen Hawkin and Deepak Chopra and realized that for all of his genius, Stephen Hawking was actually dismissing Deepak Chopra’s claims because they had not been his experience. Additionally, he had never even tried to gain that experience!
We must be open to the experiences of others, challenge our comfort zone, and embrace change to evolve. I’m not sure where I first heard this expression, but I sure do love it:
“When I am alone in my mind, I am in enemy territory.”
MIND YOUR MIND!
The world around you is picking up on the thoughts you intensify –
is a dismissive word describing a result of a force of Nature
that science hasn’t been able to fully explain or quantify.
~ Intention ~
The cumulative effect of optimism, gratitude, faith, focus, commitment,
and action (simple forward movement as opposed to force or strain),
can attract spontaneous results that the ego labels “chance,””co-incidence,” “miraculous.”
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed
For more information or to register, click the link below:
FEAR OF CHANGE
is the result of identifying ourselves with the roles we play,
our relationships, where we live and how we do things.
It comes from defining ourselves by our possessions.
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed
Ironically, following the path of Love is the only route to true, sustainable power. Seeking power through control and/or domination over people, places and things usually works…temporarily. This behavior can, and usually does, provide instant gratification and a [false] sense of security. The thrill of “success” releases endorphins and the association between domination and pleasure gets wired in our nervous system! The problem with this type of power is that it in not sustainable. In addition, exacting power by deflating and depleting others comes with a very steep price. Requiring constant vigilance, it is exhausting and inefficient. Neither the jailer nor the prisoner is free. Furthermore, what seems on the surface like a win, is in fact, another step closer to utter failure. The animus released every time someone loses in order that another prospers builds like an untreated disease. The power-grabber ultimately gets taken down one way or another, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. Addicted to instant gratification and demonstrable, measurable cause and effect, the power addict usually slips into a comfortable denial, utterly incapable of recognizing direct responsibility for their dis-ease. The person who is motivated by empowering and inspiring others has true Power. Individuals with this expansive perspective stand out in sharp contrast to the constriction felt around takers. These individuals have magnetism – the power of attraction. They listen to their inner guide (aka conscience)- which will ALWAYS make the loving, empowering choice. The resulting goodwill from others as well as their own self-respect multiplies. The subtle impact of their generosity pays dividends all the days of their lives. It is the fool that doesn’t engage the power o Love in all human interaction.
What does reality mean to you? Although it sounds like the question has an obvious answer, if you ask five different people, you’ll get five very different, very unique answers. Our choices, preferences, upbringing and past experiences all play a part in coloring our perception of reality. In turn, those perceptions manifest the reality we perceive.
As an example, let’s look at an employee in conflict with his boss. He requested that his boss tend to a situation that directly impacted him, ASAP. When his boss didn’t respond immediately, he took it personally. He was very angry that his boss did not take the time to communicate with him clearly and resolve the problem in a timely manner.
He reacted to what he perceived as a snub, with emotion – anger. Ultimately, he got what he wanted from his boss. However, he was filled with remorse for his behavior. He knew that he had sown seeds that would cause him to reap a bitter harvest at some future date.
In truth, the boss was entrenched in a system of poor communication and the lack of timely response had absolutely nothing to do with the employee. The employee was valued. No one in the firm ever got a direct response. There was dysfunction in the system.
By taking the situation personally the employee viewed current events through the lens of his memories of having been marginalized in the past. Because he could not evaluate the situation independently of his personal history – he reacted in a way that engenders disrespect. Rather than stop the cycle with new behavior, he made another contribution to this self-perpetuated reality further distancing himself from his desire to be respected and acknowledged.
This is the prison of Karma. Somewhere in his past our employee made a decision that life is unfair and people overlook him. When our thinking or interpretation of a situation leads us to negative emotions, which lead us to non-supporting actions, we have no power or control over our lives. We are trapped in the memory of interpretations of past events which have nothing to do with the current situation, the present moment.
One powerful way to bypass the prison of your own perspective is to consciously observe your thoughts, emotions and actions. Challenge your interpretation of events instead of justifying them. Communicate truthfully with yourself and others. Try this exercise the next time you find yourself suddenly recreating past negative patterns:
1. Ask yourself, “What just happened?” Describe the incident without judgment.
2. Observe your feelings without evaluating them. Be sure to distinguish your thoughts from feelings. For example, don’t say “I feel as if you should have known better” when the truth is “I feel sad.” Sadness is a feeling; feeling that someone should have known better is a thought.
3. Take responsibility for your feelings. What others say to us may be the stimulus for how we feel, but it’s never the cause. We choose to feel a certain way based on the interpretation we give to their comment. Do not accept judgment from others or blame them. Begin to focus on your own feelings and acknowledge your needs, desires, expectations, values and thoughts.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need, and use positive language when making requests. Instead of blaming your spouse for your feelings of neglect, try saying “Honey, I’m sad that you spend so much time at the office, but I really enjoy it when you have dinner at home with the kids and me. I would love if you would come home early enough to have dinner with us at least one night a week.” Clearly requesting what you want is much more effective than accusing your spouse of spending too much time at the office and casting blame for not spending enough time with the family. Can you feel the difference?
It’s not easy erasing negative karma, and you may find yourself slipping more than once. But remember that this is a lifelong process, and every new day provides plenty of opportunity for you to change your perspective — and, by extension, your reality.
Discipline is freedom.
Discipline frees us from the bonds of slavery to a merciless master:
seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.
When we are undisciplined and “blow-off” our homework, our diet, our exercise or (fill in the blank) in favor of some instant gratification – we set ourselves further back from realizing the true joy – the goal. The more we avoid the initial “pain” of the associated discipline, the greater the burden we carry around daily.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Albeit, the only constant is change (Heraclitus), an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest (Newton’s 1st Law).
Conclusion: unless one makes a conscious choice to alter their trajectory through change in thought, word and deed, their life will be a series of reenactments of the same story with different characters and scenery.
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but something has held you back? Every time you want to break out of your self-imposed mould, that tiny yet powerful voice in the back of your head known as “doubt” seeps into your consciousness and starts providing dozens of reasons why it’s impossible. “Dreams sound nice, but reality doesn’t work that way,” we tell ourselves, and put that incredible world-changing idea we had on the shelf because it wasn’t “practical”.
But what is reality…in reality? Who determines what reality is?
When you break your current life down into its essential components, the truth is our perception impacts our reality, which in turn reflects our perception. Buddhism describes this concept as “esho funi”, which means “the oneness of life and environment”. Basically, the environment and our lives are inseparable. Our environment is our life, a reflection of everything we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Even the people we associate with reflect our inner thoughts and feelings.
In other words, too often we’re wrapped up in the idea that we have no control over our circumstances, when we’re actually the ones who created those circumstances in the first place.
Why don’t we believe we can affect our reality? Because we only see the world as our five senses process it, causing us to be attached to the way things have always been done. We only understand the “known”–that which has been seen before. And we know the mind wants to protect us from getting hurt, so it does not want to wander into uncharted territory! Therefore, we fall prey to our protective conditioned mind’s old beliefs and thoughts that repeatedly churn out ideas to keep us from moving into the unknown Do these phrases sound familiar?
“You don’t have enough time.”
“You’re the wrong gender.”
“You could never succeed.”
“You’re too old.”
“It’s too late to start.”
“Money does not come easily.”
“That industry doesn’t pay well.”
Buying into these excuses limits us from our full potential, and thwarts any valid chance to affect our reality in a profound way. It is much more effective to first believe it because then you will see it. Once we learn to understand the value in ourselves and our dreams, and begin to take steps towards fulfilling those dreams, we will see “esho funi” at work as our environment becomes a brighter place to live—a seemingly inexplicable change to those who knew us before when we felt helpless and overwhelmed!