Why is it so difficult to stay present? (part 2)

  1. Awareness is a must for the next requirement, which is willingness.  We must have enough desire to do the work or we will simply default to the path of least of resistance… the way it has always been.Going Your Own Way on Blackboard
  2. If changing was easy, more people would be satisfied with their life on all levels. We have discussed that change is difficult because we are hard-wired to trust our thinking… it is all we know! We have learned that this is a problem because we continually need new coping and thriving mechanisms as our lives evolve in a world that changes around us in ways we cannot control.
  3. When I realize that my freedom is on the other side of this fear of the unknown, I become willing to move through the discomfort of the perpetual flux of each moment.  This means I let go of trying to control people places and things to make them fit into my known reality.  I avail myself of the presence of mind which adapts to the flow of life that creates the cosmos and everything in it.
  4. If I don’t do this, the pain of forcing my perspective on everything will likely cultivate the willingness in time.  Choosing to move through fear is a far more efficient and pleasant path to happiness than being dragged through the inevitable.

…to be continued.

My awareness of these principles was not enough for me to become entirely willing to change.  I wanted to be willing, but I found it so challenging to change.  Yesterday, I used the example of yelling at my two-year-old daughter even though I didn’t want to be that type of mom.  I had the awakening that my thinking (not my child) was the culprit when she was six years old.  I made many attempts to change but found myself going back to her to apologize to her more times than I care to admit.  Without going into detail, I will just tell you that it took ten years for me to totally destroy my credibility with her.  I knew I had pushed her too far.  The thought that I would lose my daughter was my bottom.  I was finally in enough pain that I became willing to let go of “my way” altogether.  I became a listener and the wind at her back.  It took some time to win back her trust, but I let go of my fear about that too! I knew that if I held onto thinking that keeps me in regret (past) or fear (future) I would disconnect myself from the Power that is only available now, the power to trust in goodness and love and walk into my vision for the future.

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Changing How You Look at Things Changes What You’re Looking At

I want to show you how you can end stress associated with control issues.  Actually, that’s redundant!  Isn’t all stress caused by feeling powerless to guarantee a desired result?

One of the most important principles underlying everything I say and do and teach is: Life is Lived From the Inside→Out.  There are many potent principles associated with this Truth.  One of the more challenging and equally rewarding to use is: Thoughts Are More Powerful Than Words or Things.  This principle is challenging because it rarely produces instant gratification and we can’t prove cause and effect at this level.  And yet, if you pay attention, you will know that all the events of your life, began at  the invisible level of thought.  Awareness is key.  If you are not paying attention you will miss it and dismiss the most effective way to create the life of your dreams.    When we understand that our inner world creates our outer world, we know that trying to control people, places or things to get what we want is an option on par with rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The formula is simple:

  • Become aware of stress.
  • Change your perspective by looking at the scenario from the perspective of the other person, the institution or an impartial observer.
  • Reinterpret the situation.  Spend as much time as it takes to imagine a way to  interpret the event(s) that benefits you.
  • Adjust your attitude by acting as if this interpretation is the correct interpretation.  
  • Use this perception every time the topic comes up.
  • If new information is presented about this topic that negates this, simply repeat the steps.

Many years ago, one of  my best friends betrayed me.  I was divorcing my husband at the time.  I felt like I had been abandoned, unappreciated, unloved and alone when I couldn’t save my marriage.  I was so afraid, depleted and depressed.  This was one of the darkest periods in my life.  To make matters worse, I discovered that friends and relatives don’t like when you upset the apple cart.  At least, back then in my little world, divorce came with stigma attached.  My friends weren’t happy that I became a single  mom and my relatives were not too thrilled with the idea of a ‘failure’ in the genealogy.

One of my go-to ‘peeps’ was so disturbed by my decision, that she set out to destroy my reputation.  My situation at the time was rife with highly effective circumstantial evidence that could be used to ‘frame’ me.  I was the unwitting starlet of my soap opera.  I faced accusation and rejection from people I loved at a time when I needed them most.  Luckily, I already had a bit of an awakening having read Deepak Chopra’s book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and James Allen’s classic, As a Man Thinketh.

We reap what we sow in thought word and deed.  This is inescapable.

This  meant that I was enduring that particular undesirable ‘harvest’ because of seeds I must have sown in the past.  If I wanted a different harvest, I would have to plant new seeds.  I would have to change something.  In this case, I first had to figure out what seeds I had planted – because I had no idea what I did to get those results.  It seemed so obvious to me that she was the problem and I was the victim!  How could I ever find a way to take responsibility for this cruelty?  Then it occurred to me.  My life had a very strong theme running through it.  From the day my father died when I was a young girl, I developed an increasingly powerful victim lens  through which I perceived seemingly unprovoked unwanted circumstances.

I needed to reframe my perception or I would keep real-izing these types of scenarios.  I remember feeling so grateful that I had figured out why I often found myself saying, “Why me?”  The warm and cozy blanket of denial known as self-pity is particularly challenging to remove.  It feels so good to blame others because it gives a brief ego-driven high of  righteousness and… quite conveniently, if you are at fault, I don’t have to change.   You do!  Unfortunately,  blaming others also means my happiness is dependent upon other people or scenarios beyond my control.  Why would I choose this feeble strategy?  Fortunately, by assuming responsibility for all the circumstances of my life, I give myself response-ability.  I can respond to an affront, insult, set-back, etc. in a way that will diffuse any negative energy associated with me and begin to build a new momentum in the direction of my choosing.

Awareness of my thoughts, feelings & emotions and the  consequences of owning or validating them, gives me the power to choose the next chapter of my life.  Conversely, if I am not paying attention to the activity between my ears(positive or negative),  I give up my freedom to choose whether what comes next is beneficial or harmful  to me.

In the case of my  friend, every time a realized I was obsessing, or got a strong feeling of self-pity or resentment, I stopped what I was doing so I could address the situation, because I knew it would be a runaway train in no time. I used to take a moment or longer to bless her and forgive her.  Pausing for a minute helped me to remember that what she thought she was doing to me, she was actually doing to herself.  She could only harm me if I ‘ate the poison’ by reacting to it, thereby tacitly agreeing with the charges. In pausing, I could also reflect on  the  thoughts that came before the gripping sensation associated with my earlier negativity. Once I identified what tapes were playing in my mind, I would replace them with new ones that made me feel better, stronger, wiser, happier, positive, etc.  I could access compassion  for her because I knew that what we ‘send out’ comes back multiplied. I knew that she had no idea of the havoc that her behavior would wreak on her life later… or she wouldn’t do it!  Meanwhile,I knew I  was fortunate because I could choose to return unkindness with love knowing that I will be so happy when  that love comes back to me exponentially.

I was vigilant about harboring no ill will.  However, I did not seek her friendship either.  That would have been an act of cruelty toward myself that would also bring an undesired harvest.  In less than a year, it was time for her to reap the harvest of the seeds she planted with me.  Misfortune she never could have imagined caused her much shame and threatened her good name and reputation.  She found herself in a very compromised situation suddenly overwhelmed by new responsibilities thrust upon her.  Without batting an eyelash, I assumed as much of her load as I was suited to handle.  Her young daughter spent the better part of a year with me going home at night just to sleep.  I did whatever else I could do. The past never occurred to me.  This is why thoughts are more powerful than words or deeds.  My response to her suffering that resulted in a beautiful win-win for all parties, was only possible with a pure heart.  If I had continued to have a grudge, I could have felt vindicated.  I may have enjoyed some twisted sense of satisfaction that ‘she got what was coming to her.’ I promise you, this would have caused subconscious self-loathing and an unintended negative spiral that I would not believe I deserved!

Instead,after a couple of years, my decision to force myself to feel compassion instead of resentment (even when I didn’t mean it at first) reaped a harvest that continues to feed my soul today.  I have in her, a most loyal friend.  We have trustworthy friendship based on respect, personal responsibility and generosity of spirit.  Perhaps even more importantly, I gained so much self-respect by honoring the Golden Rule.  Gold it is!

POST MAYAN CALENDAR MISINTERPRETATION MESS

THE END OF THE WORLD

THE END OF THE WORLD

The end of the world is an oxymoron.  How can something end, if it never began?  What has  been ending is our belief  in matter.  In Sanskrit the term “Maya” means illusion. The end of the Mayan calendar is the end of the illusion of the world − the end of the illusion of time and space. We already know and have known for thousands of years that matter does not exist. What we believe is solid is actually energy and information vibrating at the speed of light. Our nervous system cannot process data at this speed; so it gives us an illusory experience much like the way films make a series of still frames seem like fluid movement. We have also known that there is no such thing as time. All we have is the present; everything else exists in our imagination only.

What we experience as the world is an illusion, a trick of the senses.

In our lifetime the prevailing languages of this phenomenon are science and technology. The knowledge underlying both paradigms also underlies the languages of art, religion, philosophy and love. It also underlies language itself, which is why I am so fascinated by etymology. The scientific and technological paradigms are so exciting and beneficial to our human experience…provided we don’t allow them to enable the ‘lie’ and become dependent on them. We must understand the implications of the fundamental knowledge underlying every paradigm – especially now after the end of the Mayan Calendar.

What comes after the end?

After the end is the realization of eternity. The end of the Mayan calendar is the beginning of awareness of oneself as an eternal present moment experiencer. We stop identifying ourselves with our experiences and the objects of our perception. We begin to understand matter as movement of energy and information on the screen of our imagination. This is like snapping out of terror, anxiety or deep sadness as we watch a movie and remember that this is only a projection; we regain peace of mind because we know we have a choice.  We can leave the theater, change the film, or ride it out to see what happens.  We remember that we are there for our enjoyment. In our personal lives we begin to relax in the knowledge that what we call “reality” is a projection of our consciousness as a result of our focusing with such intensity that its density now appears to us if it is in formation.

We must stay present to avoid being tricked into the belief that what is “out there” is happening to us or has any power over us. When we are present, we see ourselves focusing everything into existence. When we are present, we know if we are choosing a constructive or destructive focus. When we are present, we know we can arbitrarily choose a different perspective or interpretation that feels better, more loving, empowered, and aligned with us. We can choose to respond to an insult with compassion instead of reacting with more toxicity. That tiny shift chosen from the position of present moment power – free from the powerless enslavement of past conditioning – empowers us to create a different experience that will have a strong foundation. Therefore, when we are present, the outcome is not in doubt. Ultimately then, when we are in the present, we are not afraid; we lose interest in controlling outcomes or people. We also know that no person, place, circumstance or thing has any control over us.

For people who have learned to let go of any false power (titles, positions, degrees, wealth) and joyously step into true Power, this will be a miraculous transition. We don’t give up the titles, or the positions, degrees or wealth. We just give up the illusion of their power to give us what we want. Rather, we have all of those things as a result our demonstration of true Power, which affords us authentic, joyful focus in the present moment…eternally. For those who cannot or will not apply this to their daily living, this could be a bumpy ride.

Henry Reed describes the different approaches as a choice to experience the shift as rapture or rupture. I love that.

Science and technology gave us the Internet as a result of this knowledge that everything is energy and information coming from one source that is accessible from any and every pinpoint of space and time. The invisible interconnected web of existence that had been inaccessible to the majority of humanity arose in physical form via a computer that mimicked it. We simply focus the computer according to what we want to experience and… voila! It is crucial to understand that this knowledge of the Truth of Oneness is what gave birth to the idea of the Internet. At this time when the illusion of form and separation are breaking down, we need a clear understanding of our own ability to tap into and create from this same source. We also have instant access to this seemingly miraculous, instantaneous information and power. Unlike a computer, we can originate. We can choose what we will experience with and without a computer. The miracle of this awakening is the understanding that if we shift our focus, we shift our experience. We can look at the same person, place, thing or experience with a different perspective. This will change the energy and information of what we are experiencing and its nature must change as well, as if we are photoshopping our experiences.

Please understand that in this post Mayan Calendar atmosphere, this seemingly subtle nuance will have cataclysmic impact on your future.  The intangible shift from perceiving reality as something that happens to you to from you, opens the path to joy, freedom and pure rapture as  you navigate what might  seem like rupture or destruction to  those who have depended on  the old paradigm.  If you don’t see the impact of your perceptions, you are not paying close enough attention. Termites do more damage annually than all natural disasters combined. When a butterfly flaps its wings as it flies in an area off the tip of Africa….

Tune in later in the week for some clear examples of how the shift is experienced as rapture or rupture as well as important tools to make choosing rapture effortless…

TRUE POWER

Power is magnetism.  It is obtained by empowering others. Trusting, inspiring, respecting, challenging, delegating, appreciating, informing, listening, etc. elevates the recipient, who naturally reciprocates.  The exponential effect on the individual with this wisdom is obvious.  They are loved and respected. They don’t need to watch their back. They are mostly lighthearted, energetic and healthy.

Controlling, manipulative people have agency power.  As soon as their title or leverage is gone, their ability to influence is gone. They suck the energy out of everyone they impact. Instead of adroitly using Power, they think they are the power.  This type of exertion/force creates likely candidates for heart disease, anxiety issues, etc.

The brain constricts under duress inhibiting inspiration and creativity.  Pressuring people provides instant cause/effect gratification, but does much more harm than good over time. While the ignorant gain satisfaction from measuring the result of massive effort, the enlightened lament the unrealized potential and out-of-the-box, genius ideas that were suppressed in the process.

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

COMMANDING

people have earned personal power and authority to compel others by respecting their power and authority.

DEMANDING

people must use agency power and authority (leverage) because they repel others.

CONTROL ISSUES

Just before Christmas when I was 7 years old my dad died and I experienced a life altering paradigm shift.  It was as if the curtains closed at the end of an act on the stage of my life and when they reopened, the scenery had completely changed leaving me feeling unsafe and bewildered.  As a result, I can rationalize, deny and forget anything.  It is a mechanism I employed to make sense my unfathomable reality.  It helped me survive the grief and terror that threatened my sanity for decades and felt life threatening.  I thought I was safe in my head even though I knew on some subconscious level that I didn’t feel safe.  This ‘survival’ mechanism carried me until I was 35 years old when it backfired for the last time.

At the age of 35 I experienced another paradigm shift.  I could no longer escape my reality. I had to embark on that treacherous journey from my head, where I rationalized my experiences, to my heart, where I began realizing them.  When I ‘surrendered’ and began processing my crippling feelings of grief, rage, shame, resentment, etc., something amazing happened.  I learned that the seemingly miraculous solution to any of my ‘problems’ is contained within my deepest fears! When I began to feel the feelings I had resisted, I made some critical discoveries:

  1. That which I resist persists.
  2. My emotions won’t kill me.
  3. Emotions are simply energy in motion.

    EMOTION = Energy in Motion

  4. My emotions they cannot pass if I resist/deny/stuff/block them.
  5. When I feel my feelings, I can release them and drop my ‘baggage.’
  6. Once I process the emotion, I discover that “peace that passes all understanding” rationally.
  7. Established in this peace of mind I am able to and I want to stay in present moment awareness.
  8. The Intelligence and the Power that creates worlds exists only in the present moment.
  9. Connected to that Power – my fears slip away and I gain ‘control’ of my life.
  10. When I feel a constricting emotion it is my sign that I am shutting down, resisting my experience, and cutting myself off from the Power to change that  undesirable experience .
  11. When I accept the experience as it is, I return to the present and the Power it has.  A feeling of expansion results.
  12. The ‘control’ (over my thoughts, words, deeds and experiences) that I craved was in my Awareness all along!
  13. As long as I was looking for that Power and Control over my life ‘out there,’ it would remain illusive.
  14. This EOS  (Emotional Operating System) is my infallible IGS – Internal Guidance System.  If I remain aware and pay attention to it, it will guide me to the life of my dreams and deepest desires.

I can think of many examples in life when I ignored the wisdom of my IGS and paid a steep price.  One obvious example was in my early twenties when I took a job as a mortgage-backed securities bond broker.  I was about to become the only woman on a dog-eat-dog bond-trading floor.  I had many reasons for taking the job despite a nagging ‘sinking’ feeling.  I was unable to show up for my first week on the job because I had colitis, which in retrospect was my IGS on overdrive, desperately trying to get my attention.  I had stuffed every emotion that surfaced before and after taking the job because I was in survival mode.  I felt that I had to stuff the grief associated with selling my soul to survive because I believed I had to take that job.  The disease I developed as a result of my dis-ease with my decision forced me stop physically.  But since I refused to stop mentally long enough to just be in the present moment, I delayed my discovery of true Power.

I was extremely ‘successful” and convinced myself that I was in control (happy, safe and secure).  I went on compromising my integrity for years saying and doing things that made me so uncomfortable I could hardly stand in my skin…another feeling I worked at denying !  Every year it became more difficult to contain all the trapped energy of my repressed emotions.  Finally at age 35, I reached the tipping point. Choices I made (albeit unconsciously) resulted in a situation that I would typically have denied, but at that particular moment, I could not house another emotion without imploding.  As a result, I accepted reality in the moment and suddenly, in touch with true Power, all my walls collapsed instantly and I stepped into this new miraculous paradigm.