Important to remember that railing against what you don’t want attracts more of what you don’t want.
Digging up old memories of similar situations is why history repeats itself.
BE THE CHANGE. NOW.
Dear Lord, Help us to understand our bullies need LOVE and direction NOT disapproval & rejection!
Power is magnetism. It is obtained by empowering others. Trusting, inspiring, respecting, challenging, delegating, appreciating, informing, listening, etc. elevates the recipient, who naturally reciprocates. The exponential effect on the individual with this wisdom is obvious. They are loved and respected. They don’t need to watch their back. They are mostly lighthearted, energetic and healthy.
Controlling, manipulative people have agency power. As soon as their title or leverage is gone, their ability to influence is gone. They suck the energy out of everyone they impact. Instead of adroitly using Power, they think they are the power. This type of exertion/force creates likely candidates for heart disease, anxiety issues, etc.
The brain constricts under duress inhibiting inspiration and creativity. Pressuring people provides instant cause/effect gratification, but does much more harm than good over time. While the ignorant gain satisfaction from measuring the result of massive effort, the enlightened lament the unrealized potential and out-of-the-box, genius ideas that were suppressed in the process.
people have earned personal power and authority to compel others by respecting their power and authority.
people must use agency power and authority (leverage) because they repel others.
When we are not living consciously we run the risk of making choices that we don’t realize are choices – on autopilot. We become victims of our own conditioning. Unconscious living makes us susceptible to making choices for the wrong reasons – without checking our motives. Exhaustive research reveals that about 96% of humanity does not even realize that this is an issue, which is to say that 96% of humanity is sleepwalking. Fewer realize that present moment conscious awareness is the single most important factor of success in life – whatever success means to each of us. Our lives are enjoyable and rewarding to extent that we are present in it. Being present means being aware in the moment as our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, and/or events unfold throughout our day enabling us to check-in with ourselves:
• We might ask ourselves, “Is this train of thought life-affirming, loving, in-line with my goals, worthy of me and suitable for me to share without shame?”
• We can pay attention to our IGS (my Internal Guidance System) noticing feelings of constriction or expansion within?
• Am I acting according to what I have said and what I think?
• Is this really my thought or am I being a parrot?
• Is this thought true? Is it valid? Is this a belief?
• Do this person’s action match up with their words?
• Does this thought or action help me or hinder my progress?
• Why I am thinking, saying or doing this?
• Am I paying attention?
• Am I hearing what I want to hear instead of what is really being said?
• What was I thinking before I did this?
• Should I acknowledge what I just saw, heard, said, and/or did?
These are just a few examples of the type of insight available to one who is practicing present moment awareness. Insight is awareness of and attention to one’s inner vision. Insight grants us every advantage to create the life of our dreams. Life is not happening to us. It is happening from us. Life is lived from the inside → out. The observable world that each one of us experiences (‘outsight’) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention – interpretation of what we are experiencing.
When we intentionally choose our attitude each moment, and when we decide where to direct our attention & energy each moment, we choose the experiences that ensue. People, who do not know this, keep observing and reacting to circumstances (aka: the result) with little or no sense of our responsibility for them. Unable to improve their circumstances permanently at the level of cause, they spin out in a continuous feedback loop.
One of my clients described a scenario that illustrates this quite well. She told me that her husband is making her crazy. She can no longer sit with him at their son’s basketball games. He is aggressive at best and often downright abusive. He directs his negativity toward their son, his coach, the referees, the other players on his team, the other team, the other parents, and so on. The tension comes home with them and has often led to family drama that continues for days. The father is mad at the son for ‘underperforming;’ the son is mad at the father for the abuse; the wife is mad at the husband for once again disrupting the family; the husband is mad at the wife for not supporting him, etc.
In this scenario the father keeps focusing on what the son did wrong. The son keeps focusing on his father’s anger. The wife keeps focusing on the pain this causing everyone. She told me, “Yesterday, I screamed at him asking him how he could be so stupid. Did it ever occur to him that he has done this for 13 years and it has not improved the situation one bit? The same thing keeps happening over and over!” I asked her if she has chastised him for as long. She flushed. I got my answer.
If we keep looking at the result of negative thinking we will keep seeing things we do not like: If she could begin to change her inner dialogue to predispose her to the solution, little by little things would evolve more favorably. If she could inspire her husband to change his perception and inner dialogue, things would have to change for the better very quickly. The burden of stress their son carries would evaporate and his performance would be affected measurably. All the evidence we need about stress blocking us from the zone is demonstrated for all to see by Tiger Woods. More importantly, the long-rage impact of support and encouragement instead of disapproval and disappointment is obvious.
The cost of sleepwalking is devastating and the benefits of remaining alert in the present moment are so magnificent that everyone’s main goal should be learning to stay present and think constructively.
SHORT TERM GAIN = LONG TERM PAIN
Controlling people use force, manipulation or intimidation to ‘succeed.’
Leaders use personal Power, magnetism or inspiration to succeed.
Can you guess which one gets what they are seeking?
The other day I received a phone call that gave me pause. Someone I know quite well was pleading with me to vote for the presidential candidate of their choosing. They had seen videos and heard expert testimony about the perils that will befall our country if the other guy wins the election. I have seen this sort of projection on myriad topics, many of which fall within the purview of a candidate’s platform. Topics ranging from healthcare, to global economics, to environmental policies, education and morality are a wellspring of catastrophic predictions on either end of the spectrum. I gave my usual response:
- The act of noticing the relationship between cause and effect is realization.
- Paying attention to any aspect of cause and effect (potential or actual) with strong emotion and/or absolute certainty (belief) is the process of real-ization. WE make it real or perpetuate it. Our attention transforms potential to actual/real. Knock and the door will open. Seek and ye shall find.
- This is the fulfillment of The Law of Attraction. What we call ‘reality’ is actually bundles of like energy & information vibrating at the speed of light held together by a force we call electromagnetism.
- We attract our experiences. Like attracts like. The outcome is determined by the observer’s expectation.. That is why science uses double-blind studies and placebos. It is also why they cannot get a certain predictable outcome…ever.
- Paying attention to what is not wanted is equal to asking for it.
- We are not here to fix. We are here to CREATE.
- Let it be. Accept. Contribute with a positive, loving vision with unwavering faith in the goodness of all. It is possible to be of service and value in EVERY situation without having to denigrate what is or who is doing what! You will like what you see. I promise.
These Truths are undeniable and inescapable. They agree with every religion, philosophy, science, tradition, experience, etc. They need as much belief as electricity. Having awakened to this reality, I marvel at how I can ever fall back to sleep! Having once been blind, why do I ever choose not to see again for a time? It begins when I puff with the pride of ‘righteous’ thinking. It is my old nemesis, that ignorant perception, which urges me to judge captiously making me think I know better or am better than another. It is always followed by a faint twinge, a constriction, or uneasiness.
Thankfully I know now that my discomfort is my IGS (Inner Guidance System) alerting me to the fact that I am real-izing what I do not want. I need to stop fault-finding and recognize that my thinking is wrong. I am at once profoundly appreciative of the fact that I can never be permanently lost again. I know the way out of my messes now. Fortunately, I no longer stay in the discord and can re-awaken. Then, if I have taken my ignorance to the point where an apology or amends is necessary, I do so promptly and get back to the business of joyously creating my vision.
The person that placed that persuasive phone call to me replied with a very familiar caveat explaining that after years of listening to me sing this refrain, finally embracing these Truths was life-changing; BUT this political situation is scary, urgent, and it is a reality! That is like saying gravity applies to small items and not large ones. Many of my clients are ‘successful’ individuals who know these Truths and revere the great masters and agree whole-heartedly with that which is undeniable and yet they defend ‘justifiable resentments,’ embrace a sweatshop mentality with regard to work, believe in competition, compromise themselves and their hearts desire for ‘security,’ and beat themselves up for missteps, etc.
It is important to discern and make choices. That is why we are alive. In order to experience the joy of creating, it is necessary to make choices – that make us feel loving, open, inclusive and expansive. Any sense of physical or emotional constriction is your sign that you are momentarily on a path to destruction. Let go for a moment. Release what you are resisting. You will be creating/contributing again in an instant. You can create the life of your choosing…adhering to this simple formula. If you make a habit of shifting your perception from positive to negative, denigration to elevation, destruction to creation, etc. and observe the results, you will know that this Truth is self-evident.
I will enter the voting booth in November and make the choice that seems most in line with my vision of joy and peace at the time – knowing the only thing that really matters is that I elevate all that I behold and nurture a vision of joy and peace and love regardless of who is “in charge!” How reassuring to know that this is not wishful, Pollyanna thinking…that the science is there to back it up. The Beatles are absolutely correct. All you need is love.
“Knowledge has infinite organizing power.”
I will be posting some important points to ponder over the coming days as you expect my next video blog, when I will introduce the first tool/discipline required to gain control over your thoughts, words and deeds:
The first point: THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS.
The brain is a non-conscious organ that functions like a computer processing ONLY what it can with the programs installed on it. If the brain has not been given the software to process information (through formal education and/or socializing), it computes the material as nonsense, much like a pc would read a Word document without the Microsoft Word™ program installed. The document is not nonsense simply because our pc doesn’t have the programming to understand it. It is, however, nonsense to dismiss the document as nonsense! There are many ways to compensate for different operating systems and programs so that the facts on the page, which remain absolute regardless of processor, are comprehensible by all. Likewise, when we judge others and dismiss their opinions and actions, we are the fools. Their experience is very real for them and we may miss some valuable information if we don’t make the effort to bridge the gap between our different programming and conditioning/socializing.
What are some examples of this phenomenon that you have experienced? Have you ever changed your mind? Have you ever strongly disagreed with someone (your parents, perhaps) and marveled at your alignment with them years later? If you have ever once changed your mind, you know that believing you are right about anything is not sound.
Another example is religious disdain or worse yet, intolerance. The fact that a religion works for one group of people doesn’t indicate that no other religion is has value; yet, we see countless examples of judgments without thorough comprehension.
When we are ‘unteachable,’ closed-minded or attached to the way things have always been, we subject ourselves to varying degrees of limitation, irrelevance and isolation as if we refuse to upgrade various hardware or software for a computer. This is true for the most intelligent of as well as the least! I saw a conversation on Larry King between Stephen Hawkin and Deepak Chopra and realized that for all of his genius, Stephen Hawking was actually dismissing Deepak Chopra’s claims because they had not been his experience. Additionally, he had never even tried to gain that experience!
We must be open to the experiences of others, challenge our comfort zone, and embrace change to evolve. I’m not sure where I first heard this expression, but I sure do love it:
“When I am alone in my mind, I am in enemy territory.”
MIND YOUR MIND!
The world around you is picking up on the thoughts you intensify –
It’s not about you.
It is also all about you!
What others think of you, say about you or how they treat you, has nothing to do with you.
What we think, say and do is who we are.
When we are in denial, we project it onto others.
How you perceive and react to others is a reflection of you.
For example, reacting in anger to an affront is unconscious agreement with it,
while reacting with compassion is awareness of oneself on a loftier plane .
For more information or to register, click the link below:
Ironically, following the path of Love is the only route to true, sustainable power. Seeking power through control and/or domination over people, places and things usually works…temporarily. This behavior can, and usually does, provide instant gratification and a [false] sense of security. The thrill of “success” releases endorphins and the association between domination and pleasure gets wired in our nervous system! The problem with this type of power is that it in not sustainable. In addition, exacting power by deflating and depleting others comes with a very steep price. Requiring constant vigilance, it is exhausting and inefficient. Neither the jailer nor the prisoner is free. Furthermore, what seems on the surface like a win, is in fact, another step closer to utter failure. The animus released every time someone loses in order that another prospers builds like an untreated disease. The power-grabber ultimately gets taken down one way or another, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. Addicted to instant gratification and demonstrable, measurable cause and effect, the power addict usually slips into a comfortable denial, utterly incapable of recognizing direct responsibility for their dis-ease. The person who is motivated by empowering and inspiring others has true Power. Individuals with this expansive perspective stand out in sharp contrast to the constriction felt around takers. These individuals have magnetism – the power of attraction. They listen to their inner guide (aka conscience)- which will ALWAYS make the loving, empowering choice. The resulting goodwill from others as well as their own self-respect multiplies. The subtle impact of their generosity pays dividends all the days of their lives. It is the fool that doesn’t engage the power o Love in all human interaction.
Laura’s Guest-Post on LIVING SELF-CARE
Regarding self-sacrifice as a badge of honor comes from our very best intentions. We’ve been told that when we put others’ needs first, we’ll feel so good about ourselves that our needs will diminish. While this is often true about our desires, it is dangerously incorrect about our needs.
Our primary need is for love. Conditioning taught us to look for others to meet this: parents, siblings, friends, lovers and even our children. This dynamic would often require our significant others to suppress their needs in favor of ours. This can’t be love. Furthermore, there is nobody who can love you
the way you need to be loved — with one exception: YOU!
Love is best demonstrated with time and attention. We must give ourselves all the time and attention we need, so that our soul is overflowing with love. We can’t contain it. We must give it away! Free from unmet needs, your loved ones will sense the pure joy you derive from the relationship. They’ll neither feel defensive about disappointing you, nor will they act out in order to get your attention.
Only you know what you need. Only you can provide it. Take the time to check-in with yourself. Discern your wants from your needs. Extend love to yourself through self-care and your soul will soar.
Today’s author Laura Nash is a consultant and Chopra-certified meditation instructor who teaches individuals and companies “peace of mind” skills. Visit her an http://www.lauranash.com.
Discipline is freedom.
Discipline frees us from the bonds of slavery to a merciless master:
seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.
When we are undisciplined and “blow-off” our homework, our diet, our exercise or (fill in the blank) in favor of some instant gratification – we set ourselves further back from realizing the true joy – the goal. The more we avoid the initial “pain” of the associated discipline, the greater the burden we carry around daily.
That which we appreciate, appreciates
Appreciation is the alchemy that literally transforms the substance of matter. What you value will actually become more valuable.
The reverse is also true!
- TREAT your kids as if you appreciate everything about them and they will give you more and more to appreciate.
- TREAT your wife like she is supremely beautiful inside and out and you will be rewarded by her radiance!
- TREAT your husband like he is the most competent, generous, loving partner on the planet and you will be the envy of all.
- TREAT yourself like you are not worthy, by tolerating anything less than this from others or from yourself, and you will experience none of the above.
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Albeit, the only constant is change (Heraclitus), an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest (Newton’s 1st Law).
Conclusion: unless one makes a conscious choice to alter their trajectory through change in thought, word and deed, their life will be a series of reenactments of the same story with different characters and scenery.
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed
Your relationships will only be as rewarding/profitable as your investment into them.
Carlos Slim, wealthiest man on the planet, built his empire investing in HUMAN capital and teaching business owners to do the same…at NO cost to his biggest account: his family!
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed