SHORT TERM GAIN = LONG TERM PAIN
Controlling people use force, manipulation or intimidation to ‘succeed.’
Leaders use personal Power, magnetism or inspiration to succeed.
Can you guess which one gets what they are seeking?
“Knowledge has infinite organizing power.”
I will be posting some important points to ponder over the coming days as you expect my next video blog, when I will introduce the first tool/discipline required to gain control over your thoughts, words and deeds:
The first point: THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS.
The brain is a non-conscious organ that functions like a computer processing ONLY what it can with the programs installed on it. If the brain has not been given the software to process information (through formal education and/or socializing), it computes the material as nonsense, much like a pc would read a Word document without the Microsoft Word™ program installed. The document is not nonsense simply because our pc doesn’t have the programming to understand it. It is, however, nonsense to dismiss the document as nonsense! There are many ways to compensate for different operating systems and programs so that the facts on the page, which remain absolute regardless of processor, are comprehensible by all. Likewise, when we judge others and dismiss their opinions and actions, we are the fools. Their experience is very real for them and we may miss some valuable information if we don’t make the effort to bridge the gap between our different programming and conditioning/socializing.
What are some examples of this phenomenon that you have experienced? Have you ever changed your mind? Have you ever strongly disagreed with someone (your parents, perhaps) and marveled at your alignment with them years later? If you have ever once changed your mind, you know that believing you are right about anything is not sound.
Another example is religious disdain or worse yet, intolerance. The fact that a religion works for one group of people doesn’t indicate that no other religion is has value; yet, we see countless examples of judgments without thorough comprehension.
When we are ‘unteachable,’ closed-minded or attached to the way things have always been, we subject ourselves to varying degrees of limitation, irrelevance and isolation as if we refuse to upgrade various hardware or software for a computer. This is true for the most intelligent of as well as the least! I saw a conversation on Larry King between Stephen Hawkin and Deepak Chopra and realized that for all of his genius, Stephen Hawking was actually dismissing Deepak Chopra’s claims because they had not been his experience. Additionally, he had never even tried to gain that experience!
We must be open to the experiences of others, challenge our comfort zone, and embrace change to evolve. I’m not sure where I first heard this expression, but I sure do love it:
“When I am alone in my mind, I am in enemy territory.”
MIND YOUR MIND!
The world around you is picking up on the thoughts you intensify –
It’s not about you.
It is also all about you!
What others think of you, say about you or how they treat you, has nothing to do with you.
What we think, say and do is who we are.
When we are in denial, we project it onto others.
How you perceive and react to others is a reflection of you.
For example, reacting in anger to an affront is unconscious agreement with it,
while reacting with compassion is awareness of oneself on a loftier plane .
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Ironically, following the path of Love is the only route to true, sustainable power. Seeking power through control and/or domination over people, places and things usually works…temporarily. This behavior can, and usually does, provide instant gratification and a [false] sense of security. The thrill of “success” releases endorphins and the association between domination and pleasure gets wired in our nervous system! The problem with this type of power is that it in not sustainable. In addition, exacting power by deflating and depleting others comes with a very steep price. Requiring constant vigilance, it is exhausting and inefficient. Neither the jailer nor the prisoner is free. Furthermore, what seems on the surface like a win, is in fact, another step closer to utter failure. The animus released every time someone loses in order that another prospers builds like an untreated disease. The power-grabber ultimately gets taken down one way or another, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. Addicted to instant gratification and demonstrable, measurable cause and effect, the power addict usually slips into a comfortable denial, utterly incapable of recognizing direct responsibility for their dis-ease. The person who is motivated by empowering and inspiring others has true Power. Individuals with this expansive perspective stand out in sharp contrast to the constriction felt around takers. These individuals have magnetism – the power of attraction. They listen to their inner guide (aka conscience)- which will ALWAYS make the loving, empowering choice. The resulting goodwill from others as well as their own self-respect multiplies. The subtle impact of their generosity pays dividends all the days of their lives. It is the fool that doesn’t engage the power o Love in all human interaction.
Laura’s Guest-Post on LIVING SELF-CARE
Regarding self-sacrifice as a badge of honor comes from our very best intentions. We’ve been told that when we put others’ needs first, we’ll feel so good about ourselves that our needs will diminish. While this is often true about our desires, it is dangerously incorrect about our needs.
Our primary need is for love. Conditioning taught us to look for others to meet this: parents, siblings, friends, lovers and even our children. This dynamic would often require our significant others to suppress their needs in favor of ours. This can’t be love. Furthermore, there is nobody who can love you
the way you need to be loved — with one exception: YOU!
Love is best demonstrated with time and attention. We must give ourselves all the time and attention we need, so that our soul is overflowing with love. We can’t contain it. We must give it away! Free from unmet needs, your loved ones will sense the pure joy you derive from the relationship. They’ll neither feel defensive about disappointing you, nor will they act out in order to get your attention.
Only you know what you need. Only you can provide it. Take the time to check-in with yourself. Discern your wants from your needs. Extend love to yourself through self-care and your soul will soar.
Today’s author Laura Nash is a consultant and Chopra-certified meditation instructor who teaches individuals and companies “peace of mind” skills. Visit her an http://www.lauranash.com.
Discipline is freedom.
Discipline frees us from the bonds of slavery to a merciless master:
seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.
When we are undisciplined and “blow-off” our homework, our diet, our exercise or (fill in the blank) in favor of some instant gratification – we set ourselves further back from realizing the true joy – the goal. The more we avoid the initial “pain” of the associated discipline, the greater the burden we carry around daily.
That which we appreciate, appreciates
Appreciation is the alchemy that literally transforms the substance of matter. What you value will actually become more valuable.
The reverse is also true!
- TREAT your kids as if you appreciate everything about them and they will give you more and more to appreciate.
- TREAT your wife like she is supremely beautiful inside and out and you will be rewarded by her radiance!
- TREAT your husband like he is the most competent, generous, loving partner on the planet and you will be the envy of all.
- TREAT yourself like you are not worthy, by tolerating anything less than this from others or from yourself, and you will experience none of the above.
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Albeit, the only constant is change (Heraclitus), an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest (Newton’s 1st Law).
Conclusion: unless one makes a conscious choice to alter their trajectory through change in thought, word and deed, their life will be a series of reenactments of the same story with different characters and scenery.
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed
Your relationships will only be as rewarding/profitable as your investment into them.
Carlos Slim, wealthiest man on the planet, built his empire investing in HUMAN capital and teaching business owners to do the same…at NO cost to his biggest account: his family!
THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed