Why is it so difficult to stay present? (part 2)

  1. Awareness is a must for the next requirement, which is willingness.  We must have enough desire to do the work or we will simply default to the path of least of resistance… the way it has always been.Going Your Own Way on Blackboard
  2. If changing was easy, more people would be satisfied with their life on all levels. We have discussed that change is difficult because we are hard-wired to trust our thinking… it is all we know! We have learned that this is a problem because we continually need new coping and thriving mechanisms as our lives evolve in a world that changes around us in ways we cannot control.
  3. When I realize that my freedom is on the other side of this fear of the unknown, I become willing to move through the discomfort of the perpetual flux of each moment.  This means I let go of trying to control people places and things to make them fit into my known reality.  I avail myself of the presence of mind which adapts to the flow of life that creates the cosmos and everything in it.
  4. If I don’t do this, the pain of forcing my perspective on everything will likely cultivate the willingness in time.  Choosing to move through fear is a far more efficient and pleasant path to happiness than being dragged through the inevitable.

…to be continued.

My awareness of these principles was not enough for me to become entirely willing to change.  I wanted to be willing, but I found it so challenging to change.  Yesterday, I used the example of yelling at my two-year-old daughter even though I didn’t want to be that type of mom.  I had the awakening that my thinking (not my child) was the culprit when she was six years old.  I made many attempts to change but found myself going back to her to apologize to her more times than I care to admit.  Without going into detail, I will just tell you that it took ten years for me to totally destroy my credibility with her.  I knew I had pushed her too far.  The thought that I would lose my daughter was my bottom.  I was finally in enough pain that I became willing to let go of “my way” altogether.  I became a listener and the wind at her back.  It took some time to win back her trust, but I let go of my fear about that too! I knew that if I held onto thinking that keeps me in regret (past) or fear (future) I would disconnect myself from the Power that is only available now, the power to trust in goodness and love and walk into my vision for the future.

IDENTIFICATION

I just re-read my post from Monday about the parking lot incident which illustrates identification, the first step toward ‘freedom from the bondage of self.’ Identification is one of my most valuable self-improvement tools. It allows me to assess the effectiveness of a certain behavior and not judge the person exhibiting it. Identification also frees me from chain-of-pain perpetuated by the prison of self-deception. Because I am able to IDentify a characteristic, I recognize it from memories of my past experiences. If I am willing to accept that I have been just as immature and forgive myself for the imperfection, I open the floodgates of compassion and forgiveness toward the person Compassiontempting me to scorn. Miraculously, I feel love for this person who has not yet found this path to inner peace. An overwhelming sense of gratitude follows as a result of realizing that forgiving myself is the key to freedom and peace of mind. How simple is that?

Okay…simple, but not so easy! It is just so tempting to go for the temporary high of ‘righteous’ indignation. Outrage is denial of my own earlier outrageous behavior. The brief exhilaration of feeling ‘better than’ comes from ignorance to the automatic low that must follow from karmic kickback. Why must I feel shame soon after feeling pride? It is because my disgust implies my innocence as if I have never and/or would never do something like that. However, I would not be agitated by this person if I didn’t feel shame about similar behaviors that I won’t admit to myself. Instead, my reaction would be magnanimous and I get a wonderful feeling about myself that lasts. When I tell myself that my agitation is about disapproval of them and not myself, they need to change – not me. While that may seem convenient, it is also very dis-empowering. I am doomed to repeat what I won’t admit. It sets me up for another opportunity to behave shamefully and then another to opportunity to temporarily feel better about myself by shaming someone else, and so on, and so on, and….

Admitting is the act of letting in. I can’t release what I haven’t let in! Conversely, the minute I admit a flaw, I can accept it, forgive myself and move on without carrying it around, walled off buried deep in my psyche like an abscess that causes me to react any time someone touches it. That which I resist will persist. Better to feel the pain of admitting it, so I can let it go. This is like feeling the momentary pain when piercing an abscess so I can feel the relief thereafter instead of guarding and defending it forever. If I could recognize my aggressor’s self-sabotaging animosity as something I have been able to conquer, my response will be gracious. This is far more likely to benefit me and anyone involved or even observing the exchange. Any time I have been able to behave with grace or dignity, it has put an extra spring in my step – not from pride, but from LOVE.

POST MAYAN CALENDAR MISINTERPRETATION MESS

THE END OF THE WORLD

THE END OF THE WORLD

The end of the world is an oxymoron.  How can something end, if it never began?  What has  been ending is our belief  in matter.  In Sanskrit the term “Maya” means illusion. The end of the Mayan calendar is the end of the illusion of the world − the end of the illusion of time and space. We already know and have known for thousands of years that matter does not exist. What we believe is solid is actually energy and information vibrating at the speed of light. Our nervous system cannot process data at this speed; so it gives us an illusory experience much like the way films make a series of still frames seem like fluid movement. We have also known that there is no such thing as time. All we have is the present; everything else exists in our imagination only.

What we experience as the world is an illusion, a trick of the senses.

In our lifetime the prevailing languages of this phenomenon are science and technology. The knowledge underlying both paradigms also underlies the languages of art, religion, philosophy and love. It also underlies language itself, which is why I am so fascinated by etymology. The scientific and technological paradigms are so exciting and beneficial to our human experience…provided we don’t allow them to enable the ‘lie’ and become dependent on them. We must understand the implications of the fundamental knowledge underlying every paradigm – especially now after the end of the Mayan Calendar.

What comes after the end?

After the end is the realization of eternity. The end of the Mayan calendar is the beginning of awareness of oneself as an eternal present moment experiencer. We stop identifying ourselves with our experiences and the objects of our perception. We begin to understand matter as movement of energy and information on the screen of our imagination. This is like snapping out of terror, anxiety or deep sadness as we watch a movie and remember that this is only a projection; we regain peace of mind because we know we have a choice.  We can leave the theater, change the film, or ride it out to see what happens.  We remember that we are there for our enjoyment. In our personal lives we begin to relax in the knowledge that what we call “reality” is a projection of our consciousness as a result of our focusing with such intensity that its density now appears to us if it is in formation.

We must stay present to avoid being tricked into the belief that what is “out there” is happening to us or has any power over us. When we are present, we see ourselves focusing everything into existence. When we are present, we know if we are choosing a constructive or destructive focus. When we are present, we know we can arbitrarily choose a different perspective or interpretation that feels better, more loving, empowered, and aligned with us. We can choose to respond to an insult with compassion instead of reacting with more toxicity. That tiny shift chosen from the position of present moment power – free from the powerless enslavement of past conditioning – empowers us to create a different experience that will have a strong foundation. Therefore, when we are present, the outcome is not in doubt. Ultimately then, when we are in the present, we are not afraid; we lose interest in controlling outcomes or people. We also know that no person, place, circumstance or thing has any control over us.

For people who have learned to let go of any false power (titles, positions, degrees, wealth) and joyously step into true Power, this will be a miraculous transition. We don’t give up the titles, or the positions, degrees or wealth. We just give up the illusion of their power to give us what we want. Rather, we have all of those things as a result our demonstration of true Power, which affords us authentic, joyful focus in the present moment…eternally. For those who cannot or will not apply this to their daily living, this could be a bumpy ride.

Henry Reed describes the different approaches as a choice to experience the shift as rapture or rupture. I love that.

Science and technology gave us the Internet as a result of this knowledge that everything is energy and information coming from one source that is accessible from any and every pinpoint of space and time. The invisible interconnected web of existence that had been inaccessible to the majority of humanity arose in physical form via a computer that mimicked it. We simply focus the computer according to what we want to experience and… voila! It is crucial to understand that this knowledge of the Truth of Oneness is what gave birth to the idea of the Internet. At this time when the illusion of form and separation are breaking down, we need a clear understanding of our own ability to tap into and create from this same source. We also have instant access to this seemingly miraculous, instantaneous information and power. Unlike a computer, we can originate. We can choose what we will experience with and without a computer. The miracle of this awakening is the understanding that if we shift our focus, we shift our experience. We can look at the same person, place, thing or experience with a different perspective. This will change the energy and information of what we are experiencing and its nature must change as well, as if we are photoshopping our experiences.

Please understand that in this post Mayan Calendar atmosphere, this seemingly subtle nuance will have cataclysmic impact on your future.  The intangible shift from perceiving reality as something that happens to you to from you, opens the path to joy, freedom and pure rapture as  you navigate what might  seem like rupture or destruction to  those who have depended on  the old paradigm.  If you don’t see the impact of your perceptions, you are not paying close enough attention. Termites do more damage annually than all natural disasters combined. When a butterfly flaps its wings as it flies in an area off the tip of Africa….

Tune in later in the week for some clear examples of how the shift is experienced as rapture or rupture as well as important tools to make choosing rapture effortless…

NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES

all-all-you-need-is-love-love-need-you-Favim.com-251875

Important to remember that railing against what you don’t want attracts more of what you don’t want.

Digging up old memories of similar situations is why history repeats itself.

 

BE THE CHANGE. NOW.

GOD REST THEIR SOULS

blessings36

Dear Lord, Help us to understand our bullies need LOVE and direction NOT disapproval & rejection!

 

ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE AWAKE?

Sleepwalking

When we are not living consciously we run the risk of making choices that we don’t realize are choices – on autopilot.  We become victims of our own conditioning.  Unconscious living makes us susceptible to making choices for the wrong reasons – without checking our motives.  Exhaustive research reveals that about 96% of humanity does not even realize that this is an issue, which is to say that 96% of humanity is sleepwalking.  Fewer realize that present moment conscious awareness is the single most important factor of success in life – whatever success means to each of us.  Our lives are enjoyable and rewarding to extent that we are present in it.  Being present means being aware in the moment as our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, and/or events unfold throughout our day enabling us to check-in with ourselves:

• We might ask ourselves, “Is this train of thought life-affirming, loving, in-line with my goals, worthy of me and suitable for me to share without shame?”

• We can pay attention to our IGS (my Internal Guidance System) noticing feelings of constriction or expansion within? 

• Am I acting according to what I have said and what I think?

• Is this really my thought or am I being a parrot?  

• Is this thought true?  Is it valid?  Is this a belief?  

• Do this person’s action match up with their words?  

• Does this thought or action help me or hinder my progress?  

• Why I am thinking, saying or doing this?

• Am I paying attention?  

• Am I hearing what I want to hear instead of what is really being said?  

• What was I thinking before I did this?

• Should I acknowledge what I just saw, heard, said, and/or did?

These are just a few examples of the type of insight available to one who is practicing present moment awareness.  Insight is awareness of and attention to one’s inner vision.  Insight grants us every advantage to create the life of our dreams.  Life is not happening to us.  It is happening from us.  Life is lived from the inside → out.  The observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight’) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention  – interpretation of what we are experiencing.  

When we intentionally choose our attitude each moment, and when we decide where to direct our attention & energy each moment, we choose the experiences that ensue.  People, who do not know this, keep observing and reacting to circumstances (aka: the result) with little or no sense of our responsibility for them. Unable to improve their circumstances permanently at the level of cause, they spin out in a continuous feedback loop. 

One of my clients described a scenario that illustrates this quite well.  She told me that her husband is making her crazy.  She can no longer sit with him at their son’s basketball games.  He is aggressive at best and often downright abusive.  He directs his negativity toward their son, his coach, the referees, the other players on his team, the other team, the other parents, and so on.  The tension comes home with them and has often led to family drama that continues for days.  The father is mad at the son for ‘underperforming;’ the son is mad at the father for the abuse; the wife is mad at the husband for once again disrupting the family; the husband is mad at the wife for not supporting him, etc.  

In this scenario the father keeps focusing on what the son did wrong.  The son keeps focusing on his father’s anger.  The wife keeps focusing on the pain this causing everyone.  She told me, “Yesterday, I screamed at him asking him how he could be so stupid.  Did it ever occur to him that he has done this for 13 years and it has not improved the situation one bit?  The same thing keeps happening over and over!”  I asked her if she has chastised him for as long.  She flushed.  I got my answer.  

If we keep looking at the result of negative thinking we will keep seeing things we do not like: If she could begin to change her inner dialogue to predispose her to the solution, little by little things would evolve more favorably.  If she could inspire her husband to change his perception and inner dialogue, things would have to change for the better very quickly.  The burden of stress their son carries would evaporate and his performance would be affected measurably.   All the evidence we need about stress blocking us from the zone is demonstrated for all  to see by Tiger Woods.   More importantly, the long-rage impact of support and encouragement instead of disapproval and disappointment is obvious.  

The cost of sleepwalking is devastating and the benefits of remaining alert in the present moment are so magnificent that everyone’s main goal should be learning to stay present and think constructively.

 

JUST RELEASED – THE ULTIMATE EXPERT Podcast # 4

I believe that under all of your formal education and social conditioning, you have an inner expert that knows what’s best for you. YOU are the ultimate expert, and this is your podcast. It’s free, it’s fun, and this week’s episode is available right now. Click on the image to listen to Episode 4

  Now Playing: Episode 4: Brandon Farrell

– OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION –

20-year-old Brandon Farrell asks about being able to control his emotions. A valuable conversations about living a meaningful life of our choosing ensues.

Lesson from Job(s)

It is our great fortune to have witnessed the personification of so many Truths in the life and achievements or Steve Jobs.  His iconic legacy will be available for all to draw upon when illustrating Natural Law, the governing principles of Creation.  His larger-than-life demonstration of The Power of Pure Potential (aka the Power within), The Power of Intention (focus), The Power of Self-Referral (not accepting conventional wisdom), The Power of  Visualization (imagination), The Powers of Simplicity and  Boldness (‘just do it’), The Power of Detachment (from fear, from the outcome, from the known) brought us closer to understanding that while human, we are also super-human.  If we allow ourselves to seize these Powers, move out of the illusion of safety of our comfort zone and venture forth into the realization of our seemingly miraculous potential, we can, like Steve Jobs, achieve anything we can conceive and believe.
Jobs, sadly, also demonstrated the results of violating these Laws.  Stories of his impertenance are sprinkled throughout accounts of his creative prowess.  In addition to his micro-managing (controlling? autocratic?) leadership style, he was known to belittle people, seek revenge, and harbor grudges.  Whether he was ignorant, defiant or disdainful of such fundamental Laws as The Power of Love, The Power of Attraction, The Power of Compassion, and The Power of Forgiveness, Steve Jobs has left us a few poignant examples of  what happens when we believe we are the Power or that immutable Natural Laws don’t pertain to us.  It is impossible to fool Mother Nature.  We will always reap what we sow.  Pumpkin seeds will never bring forth cherries.  Imagine if he was able to weave the Power of Potential & The Power of Intention with The Powers of Love & Compassion and the Powers of Attraction & Purpose.  He may have inspired the realize-ation of boundless Potential within those he employed.  Empowering others motivated by an absolute trust in the Power of Love without any attachment to the outcome (e.g. not fearing that Knowledge or information is dangerous or belief that your investment in another  may not pay returns) must buoy the leader/teacher exponentially.  It is Law.
Additionally, had he chosen to empower and inspire rather than intimidate, the inescapable Law of Attraction is likely to have drawn far less toxicity to his life experience and perhaps the potential for disease encoded in his DNA could have remained un-real-ized, dormant.  Nature does not compartmentalize; neither do we.  It is impossible!  We cannot have one kind of thought and a different kind of body.  Your body will reflect, measurably, whether you are stressed, angry, grateful or loving, etc.  Make sure that that you employ the Power of Love in all of your intentions, interactions and creations.  The Law of Attraction says we receive back the energy we emit multiplied on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Do you want back what you are giving out?  How would you like it on steroids?

Free Introduction to Meditation

Sunday, October 30, 2011  

The Center for Relaxation & Healing  Chatham,NJ

Alternatively, you may join us live via teleconference.

You choose!  Simply make your selection on the registration page. The details of the teleconference can be found when you register.  Please feel free to invite as many friends as you like and forward this announcement to anyone yoiu know that may benefit from this information.

Stressed?  Anxious?

OverloadOver-thinking?  Angry?  Pressured?

  • Learn why meditation is so important for well-being and peace of mind.
  • Decide whether level one or leveltwo is the most appropriate choice for you:
    1. Simply and effectively change the way you feel employing various medataive relaxation techniques.
    2. Discover the seemingly miraculous, life-changing benefits of a formal meditation practice.
  • 30 minutes will be devoted to Q&A and/or guided meditation as time allows.

Register Now!

NASH FLASH

Attraction Confusion

 like attracts like 

and opposites attract

The two are not mutually exclusive.  The subject and quality of our focus determines what we attract.  A loving person focusing on what they hate (illness, mean people, etc.) is likely to attract just that!  Onlookers will say, “How unfair!”  Actually, the law is non-discriminating applying to everyone.  

A simple shift of focus to what is desired with a grateful, expectant heart will produce  miracles!


THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

May the Force be with you.”

May YOU be with the Force!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

AMENDS

made begrudgingly, without sincerity, or for some ulterior motive (e.g. to ‘keep the peace’)

will mend nothing.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

SACRIFICE AND LOVE

can’t be used in the same sentence.

Whatever we give to or share with our beloved makes us feel

enhanced ~ not at all diminished, depleted or drained.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

LOVE

is the force that catapults our awareness beyond the limitation of rational thought.

It connects us to the miraculous Power performing trillions of functions in our bodies every second simultaneously, co-incidentally, without communication between the parts.

“The only thing faster than the speed of light is Love.”

~ Alphie


THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

No Fool for Love

The Power of Love

Ironically, following the path of Love is the only route to true, sustainable power.  Seeking power through control and/or domination over people, places and things usually works…temporarily. This behavior can, and usually does, provide instant gratification and a [false] sense of security. The thrill of “success” releases endorphins and the association between domination and pleasure gets wired in our nervous system! The problem with this type of power is that it in not sustainable.  In addition, exacting power by deflating and depleting others comes with a very steep price.  Requiring constant vigilance, it is exhausting and inefficient. Neither the jailer nor the prisoner is free. Furthermore, what seems on the surface like a win, is in fact, another step closer to utter failure. The animus released every time someone loses in order that another prospers builds like an untreated disease. The power-grabber ultimately gets taken down one way or another, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.   Addicted to instant gratification and demonstrable, measurable cause and effect, the power addict usually slips into a comfortable denial, utterly incapable of recognizing direct responsibility for their dis-ease.   The person who is motivated by empowering and inspiring others has true Power. Individuals with this expansive perspective stand out in sharp contrast to the constriction felt around takers.  These individuals have magnetism – the power of attraction.  They listen to their inner guide (aka conscience)- which will ALWAYS make the loving, empowering choice.  The resulting goodwill from others as well as their own self-respect multiplies.  The subtle impact of their generosity pays dividends all the days of their lives.  It is the fool that doesn’t engage the power o Love in all human interaction.

GIVING & RECEIVING

Living Self-Care Blog GUEST POST: Real Mom Laura Nash

Laura’s Guest-Post on LIVING SELF-CARE

You Can’t Give Away What You Don’t Possess

Regarding self-sacrifice as a badge of honor comes from our very best intentions. We’ve been told that when we put others’ needs first, we’ll feel so good about ourselves that our needs will diminish. While this is often true about our desires, it is dangerously incorrect about our needs.

Our primary need is for love. Conditioning taught us to look for others to meet this: parents, siblings, friends, lovers and even our children. This dynamic would often require our significant others to suppress their needs in favor of ours. This can’t be love. Furthermore, there is nobody who can love you
the way you need to be loved — with one exception: YOU!

Love is best demonstrated with time and attention. We must give ourselves all the time and attention we need, so that our soul is overflowing with love. We can’t contain it.  We must give it away!  Free from unmet needs, your loved ones will sense the pure joy you derive from the relationship. They’ll neither feel defensive about disappointing you, nor will they act out in order to get your attention.

Only you know what you need. Only you can provide it. Take the time to check-in with yourself.  Discern your wants from your needs.  Extend love to yourself through self-care and your soul will soar.

Today’s author Laura Nash is a consultant and Chopra-certified meditation instructor who teaches individuals and companies “peace of mind” skills.  Visit her an http://www.lauranash.com.

Measure Your Life In Love

Years ago, a Broadway musical called RENT swept New York with its message of learning how to live and love in a world that seems cold and uncaring. Its most famous song reminds us to “measure your life in love”. But as simple as those words sound, is it something we can really accomplish in our lives?

A baby will not survive long without love and attention. Even as an adult, we seek love and approval first from our family, then our life partner. Despite the tendency of modern society to gloss over emotional needs in favor of short-term material satisfaction, human beings need love in order to live.

In a loving relationship, you give love and receive it. If you don’t, you walk around with a heavy heart and develop physical illness from the stress. The term “broken-hearted” was given its name for a reason.

How do we express love? By giving time and attention to another. If you are always seeking attention and never giving it, or make no time for those you love, you will suffer a break down, either physically, emotionally or both. If you are always seeking for the other party to listen to you without extending the same courtesy, the imbalance will attract anxiety and stress. No one will want to hear what you have to say, which will cause even more stress!

Likewise, if you are always the giver, a dysfunctional relationship will result. You may become resentful, or even be resented by the very person you wish to please. Overly generous people who give until it is a detriment to them are often surprised to hear the recipient of their gifts describe the feeling as “overwhelming” or even “suffocating”. Giving too much of yourself to the point of suffering makes others wary of you, which will only breed mistrust and growing resentment of the perceived demands you place on them by literally giving until it hurts.

True love blossoms and thrives when two people trust each other. Love can still exist without trust, but it is stained with bitterness, pain and caution. In order to establish trust, truth must flow freely between both parties.

When we hide things out of fear of the consequences, we create the potential for an even more disastrous result. If a husband is afraid to tell his wife that he spent all day with his client, who happens to be a gorgeous woman, he will arouse suspicion if she ever finds out. Conversely, if he simply discusses it with his wife that day, trust is established from the very beginning.

Many people go through life never understanding what trust really means, or the balance of giving and receiving in familial and personal relationships. Instead they swing wildly from one side to the other, or stubbornly stick to only one side of the process while they feel like they’re dying inside—and in many ways, their soul really is suffering deeply. Only by accepting the fact that real love means giving of yourself and accepting what the other has to give you, sharing each others’ happiness and pain equally without resentment, can you learn to love both yourself and others; only then can you “measure your life in love”.