Changing How You Look at Things Changes What You’re Looking At

I want to show you how you can end stress associated with control issues.  Actually, that’s redundant!  Isn’t all stress caused by feeling powerless to guarantee a desired result?

One of the most important principles underlying everything I say and do and teach is: Life is Lived From the Inside→Out.  There are many potent principles associated with this Truth.  One of the more challenging and equally rewarding to use is: Thoughts Are More Powerful Than Words or Things.  This principle is challenging because it rarely produces instant gratification and we can’t prove cause and effect at this level.  And yet, if you pay attention, you will know that all the events of your life, began at  the invisible level of thought.  Awareness is key.  If you are not paying attention you will miss it and dismiss the most effective way to create the life of your dreams.    When we understand that our inner world creates our outer world, we know that trying to control people, places or things to get what we want is an option on par with rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The formula is simple:

  • Become aware of stress.
  • Change your perspective by looking at the scenario from the perspective of the other person, the institution or an impartial observer.
  • Reinterpret the situation.  Spend as much time as it takes to imagine a way to  interpret the event(s) that benefits you.
  • Adjust your attitude by acting as if this interpretation is the correct interpretation.  
  • Use this perception every time the topic comes up.
  • If new information is presented about this topic that negates this, simply repeat the steps.

Many years ago, one of  my best friends betrayed me.  I was divorcing my husband at the time.  I felt like I had been abandoned, unappreciated, unloved and alone when I couldn’t save my marriage.  I was so afraid, depleted and depressed.  This was one of the darkest periods in my life.  To make matters worse, I discovered that friends and relatives don’t like when you upset the apple cart.  At least, back then in my little world, divorce came with stigma attached.  My friends weren’t happy that I became a single  mom and my relatives were not too thrilled with the idea of a ‘failure’ in the genealogy.

One of my go-to ‘peeps’ was so disturbed by my decision, that she set out to destroy my reputation.  My situation at the time was rife with highly effective circumstantial evidence that could be used to ‘frame’ me.  I was the unwitting starlet of my soap opera.  I faced accusation and rejection from people I loved at a time when I needed them most.  Luckily, I already had a bit of an awakening having read Deepak Chopra’s book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and James Allen’s classic, As a Man Thinketh.

We reap what we sow in thought word and deed.  This is inescapable.

This  meant that I was enduring that particular undesirable ‘harvest’ because of seeds I must have sown in the past.  If I wanted a different harvest, I would have to plant new seeds.  I would have to change something.  In this case, I first had to figure out what seeds I had planted – because I had no idea what I did to get those results.  It seemed so obvious to me that she was the problem and I was the victim!  How could I ever find a way to take responsibility for this cruelty?  Then it occurred to me.  My life had a very strong theme running through it.  From the day my father died when I was a young girl, I developed an increasingly powerful victim lens  through which I perceived seemingly unprovoked unwanted circumstances.

I needed to reframe my perception or I would keep real-izing these types of scenarios.  I remember feeling so grateful that I had figured out why I often found myself saying, “Why me?”  The warm and cozy blanket of denial known as self-pity is particularly challenging to remove.  It feels so good to blame others because it gives a brief ego-driven high of  righteousness and… quite conveniently, if you are at fault, I don’t have to change.   You do!  Unfortunately,  blaming others also means my happiness is dependent upon other people or scenarios beyond my control.  Why would I choose this feeble strategy?  Fortunately, by assuming responsibility for all the circumstances of my life, I give myself response-ability.  I can respond to an affront, insult, set-back, etc. in a way that will diffuse any negative energy associated with me and begin to build a new momentum in the direction of my choosing.

Awareness of my thoughts, feelings & emotions and the  consequences of owning or validating them, gives me the power to choose the next chapter of my life.  Conversely, if I am not paying attention to the activity between my ears(positive or negative),  I give up my freedom to choose whether what comes next is beneficial or harmful  to me.

In the case of my  friend, every time a realized I was obsessing, or got a strong feeling of self-pity or resentment, I stopped what I was doing so I could address the situation, because I knew it would be a runaway train in no time. I used to take a moment or longer to bless her and forgive her.  Pausing for a minute helped me to remember that what she thought she was doing to me, she was actually doing to herself.  She could only harm me if I ‘ate the poison’ by reacting to it, thereby tacitly agreeing with the charges. In pausing, I could also reflect on  the  thoughts that came before the gripping sensation associated with my earlier negativity. Once I identified what tapes were playing in my mind, I would replace them with new ones that made me feel better, stronger, wiser, happier, positive, etc.  I could access compassion  for her because I knew that what we ‘send out’ comes back multiplied. I knew that she had no idea of the havoc that her behavior would wreak on her life later… or she wouldn’t do it!  Meanwhile,I knew I  was fortunate because I could choose to return unkindness with love knowing that I will be so happy when  that love comes back to me exponentially.

I was vigilant about harboring no ill will.  However, I did not seek her friendship either.  That would have been an act of cruelty toward myself that would also bring an undesired harvest.  In less than a year, it was time for her to reap the harvest of the seeds she planted with me.  Misfortune she never could have imagined caused her much shame and threatened her good name and reputation.  She found herself in a very compromised situation suddenly overwhelmed by new responsibilities thrust upon her.  Without batting an eyelash, I assumed as much of her load as I was suited to handle.  Her young daughter spent the better part of a year with me going home at night just to sleep.  I did whatever else I could do. The past never occurred to me.  This is why thoughts are more powerful than words or deeds.  My response to her suffering that resulted in a beautiful win-win for all parties, was only possible with a pure heart.  If I had continued to have a grudge, I could have felt vindicated.  I may have enjoyed some twisted sense of satisfaction that ‘she got what was coming to her.’ I promise you, this would have caused subconscious self-loathing and an unintended negative spiral that I would not believe I deserved!

Instead,after a couple of years, my decision to force myself to feel compassion instead of resentment (even when I didn’t mean it at first) reaped a harvest that continues to feed my soul today.  I have in her, a most loyal friend.  We have trustworthy friendship based on respect, personal responsibility and generosity of spirit.  Perhaps even more importantly, I gained so much self-respect by honoring the Golden Rule.  Gold it is!

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

BEHAVE

Be —> Have

How you act (be) now is commensurate with the experiences (people, places & things) you will have later.

 

ASK NASH

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

Really?

Decide.  Intend.  Detach.

 Resignation is not a part of the formula. 

If it seems hopeless, you are micromanaging (trying to control). It is just the particular means you have chosen that is “not meant to be.”

  1. Make a general decision eliminating all other options (de-cide = to-kill).
  2. Intend to focus solely on what is in line with the vision/goal or what it will feel like when it is. Intend that you will know which actions you can take todayeffortlessly.
  3. Detach by being open to and enjoying the process – free from preconceived expectations about the who, the how, the where, the when and specifics about the what.

The goal is not in doubt. If it is your will, it is meant to be.  And, it will be – if you let it and don’t force it!

 

NASH FLASH

 BELIEVING IS SEEING

 

 Therefore, when we believe that seeing is believing, the notion that history repeats itself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy by default.

Out-of-the box thinkers, visionaries, true leaders and Powerful people don’t look to history to decide our future.

 

NASH FLASH

MIND YOUR MIND!

If you need evidence that your thoughts, alone, can and do impact the world around you, just stare at the back of someone’s neck with the intention that they they are going to get that creepy, stalked sensation. When they grab their neck or turn around you’ll get your confirmation.

 The world around you is picking up on the thoughts you intensify – 

whether either one knows it or not!

Lesson from Job(s)

It is our great fortune to have witnessed the personification of so many Truths in the life and achievements or Steve Jobs.  His iconic legacy will be available for all to draw upon when illustrating Natural Law, the governing principles of Creation.  His larger-than-life demonstration of The Power of Pure Potential (aka the Power within), The Power of Intention (focus), The Power of Self-Referral (not accepting conventional wisdom), The Power of  Visualization (imagination), The Powers of Simplicity and  Boldness (‘just do it’), The Power of Detachment (from fear, from the outcome, from the known) brought us closer to understanding that while human, we are also super-human.  If we allow ourselves to seize these Powers, move out of the illusion of safety of our comfort zone and venture forth into the realization of our seemingly miraculous potential, we can, like Steve Jobs, achieve anything we can conceive and believe.
Jobs, sadly, also demonstrated the results of violating these Laws.  Stories of his impertenance are sprinkled throughout accounts of his creative prowess.  In addition to his micro-managing (controlling? autocratic?) leadership style, he was known to belittle people, seek revenge, and harbor grudges.  Whether he was ignorant, defiant or disdainful of such fundamental Laws as The Power of Love, The Power of Attraction, The Power of Compassion, and The Power of Forgiveness, Steve Jobs has left us a few poignant examples of  what happens when we believe we are the Power or that immutable Natural Laws don’t pertain to us.  It is impossible to fool Mother Nature.  We will always reap what we sow.  Pumpkin seeds will never bring forth cherries.  Imagine if he was able to weave the Power of Potential & The Power of Intention with The Powers of Love & Compassion and the Powers of Attraction & Purpose.  He may have inspired the realize-ation of boundless Potential within those he employed.  Empowering others motivated by an absolute trust in the Power of Love without any attachment to the outcome (e.g. not fearing that Knowledge or information is dangerous or belief that your investment in another  may not pay returns) must buoy the leader/teacher exponentially.  It is Law.
Additionally, had he chosen to empower and inspire rather than intimidate, the inescapable Law of Attraction is likely to have drawn far less toxicity to his life experience and perhaps the potential for disease encoded in his DNA could have remained un-real-ized, dormant.  Nature does not compartmentalize; neither do we.  It is impossible!  We cannot have one kind of thought and a different kind of body.  Your body will reflect, measurably, whether you are stressed, angry, grateful or loving, etc.  Make sure that that you employ the Power of Love in all of your intentions, interactions and creations.  The Law of Attraction says we receive back the energy we emit multiplied on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Do you want back what you are giving out?  How would you like it on steroids?

NASH FLASH

Attraction Confusion

 like attracts like 

and opposites attract

The two are not mutually exclusive.  The subject and quality of our focus determines what we attract.  A loving person focusing on what they hate (illness, mean people, etc.) is likely to attract just that!  Onlookers will say, “How unfair!”  Actually, the law is non-discriminating applying to everyone.  

A simple shift of focus to what is desired with a grateful, expectant heart will produce  miracles!


THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed