Power is magnetism. It is obtained by empowering others. Trusting, inspiring, respecting, challenging, delegating, appreciating, informing, listening, etc. elevates the recipient, who naturally reciprocates. The exponential effect on the individual with this wisdom is obvious. They are loved and respected. They don’t need to watch their back. They are mostly lighthearted, energetic and healthy.
Controlling, manipulative people have agency power. As soon as their title or leverage is gone, their ability to influence is gone. They suck the energy out of everyone they impact. Instead of adroitly using Power, they think they are the power. This type of exertion/force creates likely candidates for heart disease, anxiety issues, etc.
The brain constricts under duress inhibiting inspiration and creativity. Pressuring people provides instant cause/effect gratification, but does much more harm than good over time. While the ignorant gain satisfaction from measuring the result of massive effort, the enlightened lament the unrealized potential and out-of-the-box, genius ideas that were suppressed in the process.
When we are not living consciously we run the risk of making choices that we don’t realize are choices – on autopilot. We become victims of our own conditioning. Unconscious living makes us susceptible to making choices for the wrong reasons – without checking our motives. Exhaustive research reveals that about 96% of humanity does not even realize that this is an issue, which is to say that 96% of humanity is sleepwalking. Fewer realize that present moment conscious awareness is the single most important factor of success in life – whatever success means to each of us. Our lives are enjoyable and rewarding to extent that we are present in it. Being present means being aware in the moment as our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, and/or events unfold throughout our day enabling us to check-in with ourselves:
• We might ask ourselves, “Is this train of thought life-affirming, loving, in-line with my goals, worthy of me and suitable for me to share without shame?”
• We can pay attention to our IGS (my Internal Guidance System) noticing feelings of constriction or expansion within?
• Am I acting according to what I have said and what I think?
• Is this really my thought or am I being a parrot?
• Is this thought true? Is it valid? Is this a belief?
• Do this person’s action match up with their words?
• Does this thought or action help me or hinder my progress?
• Why I am thinking, saying or doing this?
• Am I paying attention?
• Am I hearing what I want to hear instead of what is really being said?
• What was I thinking before I did this?
• Should I acknowledge what I just saw, heard, said, and/or did?
These are just a few examples of the type of insight available to one who is practicing present moment awareness. Insight is awareness of and attention to one’s inner vision. Insight grants us every advantage to create the life of our dreams. Life is not happening to us. It is happening from us. Life is lived from the inside → out. The observable world that each one of us experiences (‘outsight’) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention – interpretation of what we are experiencing.
When we intentionally choose our attitude each moment, and when we decide where to direct our attention & energy each moment, we choose the experiences that ensue. People, who do not know this, keep observing and reacting to circumstances (aka: the result) with little or no sense of our responsibility for them. Unable to improve their circumstances permanently at the level of cause, they spin out in a continuous feedback loop.
One of my clients described a scenario that illustrates this quite well. She told me that her husband is making her crazy. She can no longer sit with him at their son’s basketball games. He is aggressive at best and often downright abusive. He directs his negativity toward their son, his coach, the referees, the other players on his team, the other team, the other parents, and so on. The tension comes home with them and has often led to family drama that continues for days. The father is mad at the son for ‘underperforming;’ the son is mad at the father for the abuse; the wife is mad at the husband for once again disrupting the family; the husband is mad at the wife for not supporting him, etc.
In this scenario the father keeps focusing on what the son did wrong. The son keeps focusing on his father’s anger. The wife keeps focusing on the pain this causing everyone. She told me, “Yesterday, I screamed at him asking him how he could be so stupid. Did it ever occur to him that he has done this for 13 years and it has not improved the situation one bit? The same thing keeps happening over and over!” I asked her if she has chastised him for as long. She flushed. I got my answer.
If we keep looking at the result of negative thinking we will keep seeing things we do not like: If she could begin to change her inner dialogue to predispose her to the solution, little by little things would evolve more favorably. If she could inspire her husband to change his perception and inner dialogue, things would have to change for the better very quickly. The burden of stress their son carries would evaporate and his performance would be affected measurably. All the evidence we need about stress blocking us from the zone is demonstrated for all to see by Tiger Woods. More importantly, the long-rage impact of support and encouragement instead of disapproval and disappointment is obvious.
The cost of sleepwalking is devastating and the benefits of remaining alert in the present moment are so magnificent that everyone’s main goal should be learning to stay present and think constructively.
Everywhere you go, there YOU are!
Watch my blog for a link to my podcast discussing this in depth!
It’s not about you.
It is also all about you!
What others think of you, say about you or how they treat you, has nothing to do with you.
What we think, say and do is who we are.
When we are in denial, we project it onto others.
How you perceive and react to others is a reflection of you.
For example, reacting in anger to an affront is unconscious agreement with it,
while reacting with compassion is awareness of oneself on a loftier plane .
The lotus flower is a powerful symbol in Buddhism. It both seeds and blossoms at the same time, indicating how the scientific laws of cause and effect are inseparable. In other words, the choices and determinations about our life that we set forth into the universe–for better or worse–will inevitably be exactly what the universe returns to us in abundance.
Are you allowing yourself to flow freely in the energetic exchange of life? It is extremely important to understand exactly what we are giving and receiving in our lives.
The following questions are designed to get you thinking about your openness to this. They are also intended to alert you to where you may be resisting change out of fear of the unknown. Following each series of questions below are affirmations–positive statements and declarations–to assist you in opening up to all that is possible in life. It’s important that they are written with a pen or pencil as well as spoken out loud, with conviction. Be sure to focus while using affirmations and keep your energy level up to match the intention. If they are rote phrases they will become meaningless
Remember to choose only one or two questions to work with at a time. If we overload ourselves, we are setting ourselves up for failure.
Affirmations should be credible and very clear, and it is important that they are written in the present tense as if it has already happened. This exercise is not about kidding yourself. For example, if I don’t have a dollar in the bank, and I affirm, “I am affluent and abundant,” this statement is true. The truth is we are all affluent and abundant and wealthy beyond our wildest dreams.
1. What practices or actions do you take, or will you begin to take, to ensure that there is the proper flow of energy through your body on a daily basis?
2. Give examples of things you do to bring your body to a restful state. Can you allow yourself to receive physical help and assistance that you may not have allowed in the past?
3. Are you aware of any areas of your body where there is tightness and tension as a result of holding on to negative emotional feelings?
1. My body is in rhythm with the universe.
2. I am open to receiving perfect health.
3. I expend and receive energy freely.
Do you find yourself unable to accept compliments or affection?
Are there certain individuals that you find it difficult to open up to? Hint: whatever it is about them that makes you uncomfortable about opening up is a reflection of something about you that will cause others not to trust you! What prevents you from full and free intimacy with those that share freely with you? This could be the memory of an old wound that you no longer need to bear.
Do you give affection and love only when you receive it? Do you need to receive before you can give?
Do you freely give and receive sexually? Are you demanding or denying?
Are there any stipulations, criteria or agendas you have in order for your love to flow?
Are there some non-serving relationships in your life where you have been willing to receive negativity or even degradation? Are you giving this tolerance because you are hoping to get something out of it such as money or security?
1. All of my relationships are mutually nurturing.
2. I trust that we are here to serve each other.
3. My partner and I share a mutually nourishing and respectful intimacy.
What are your current beliefs about the flow of money into your life and how money comes to you? Can money only come to you through your job?
What do you believe money is an exchange for?
Do you think people who have anxiety about money are capable of allowing money to flow easily into their lives? Does money cause you to get anxious or tense?
1. Money flows to me easily, consistently and in great abundance.
2. Thank you for the abundance I see reflected all about me.
3. Thank you for the river of money which flows to me and through me.
Where does everything come from? How does potential manifest into reality?
When in your life have you decided to create something and it happened?
In light of what you now know, what are your thoughts about how you successfully created something in the past?
How have you contributed to others? How have you been rewarded?
1) Through my thoughts, actions and desires I create my life.
2) Thank you for the wondrous possibilities and the wondrous probabilities all around me.
3) Thank you for the privilege of serving, and sharing the gift that I am.
When something of value is given in life, it comes back in multiples. This is why we need to be mindful of what we give mentally, energetically and physically.
If you give and feel you have lost something, you really haven’t given. If you give grudgingly, the gift will not grow. It’s the motive behind your giving that will dictate the return. When you give from your heart unconditionally, the result is expansive. If you want love, give people your time and attention. If you want financial success, help others to become financially successful. If you want to be blessed with all good things, silently bless all others with all the good things in life!
Years ago, a Broadway musical called RENT swept New York with its message of learning how to live and love in a world that seems cold and uncaring. Its most famous song reminds us to “measure your life in love”. But as simple as those words sound, is it something we can really accomplish in our lives?
A baby will not survive long without love and attention. Even as an adult, we seek love and approval first from our family, then our life partner. Despite the tendency of modern society to gloss over emotional needs in favor of short-term material satisfaction, human beings need love in order to live.
In a loving relationship, you give love and receive it. If you don’t, you walk around with a heavy heart and develop physical illness from the stress. The term “broken-hearted” was given its name for a reason.
How do we express love? By giving time and attention to another. If you are always seeking attention and never giving it, or make no time for those you love, you will suffer a break down, either physically, emotionally or both. If you are always seeking for the other party to listen to you without extending the same courtesy, the imbalance will attract anxiety and stress. No one will want to hear what you have to say, which will cause even more stress!
Likewise, if you are always the giver, a dysfunctional relationship will result. You may become resentful, or even be resented by the very person you wish to please. Overly generous people who give until it is a detriment to them are often surprised to hear the recipient of their gifts describe the feeling as “overwhelming” or even “suffocating”. Giving too much of yourself to the point of suffering makes others wary of you, which will only breed mistrust and growing resentment of the perceived demands you place on them by literally giving until it hurts.
True love blossoms and thrives when two people trust each other. Love can still exist without trust, but it is stained with bitterness, pain and caution. In order to establish trust, truth must flow freely between both parties.
When we hide things out of fear of the consequences, we create the potential for an even more disastrous result. If a husband is afraid to tell his wife that he spent all day with his client, who happens to be a gorgeous woman, he will arouse suspicion if she ever finds out. Conversely, if he simply discusses it with his wife that day, trust is established from the very beginning.
Many people go through life never understanding what trust really means, or the balance of giving and receiving in familial and personal relationships. Instead they swing wildly from one side to the other, or stubbornly stick to only one side of the process while they feel like they’re dying inside—and in many ways, their soul really is suffering deeply. Only by accepting the fact that real love means giving of yourself and accepting what the other has to give you, sharing each others’ happiness and pain equally without resentment, can you learn to love both yourself and others; only then can you “measure your life in love”.
Life is a process of constant transformation where matter becomes energy, and energy becomes matter. Nature is the perfect example of this process: think about a tree whose leaves provide oxygen for us to breathe, and in return takes the carbon dioxide we exhale. That is one exchange. Its leaves die and fall to the ground, where they decompose and become energy that sustains the tree. The tree consumes energy and creates new matter in the form of new leaves, which begins the process all over again.
When we breathe, we give carbon dioxide to the tree. Without this act of giving, the tree could not receive anything. If the tree did not give the earth its leaves for nutrients, it would starve. There is a constant on-going flow that creates our world as we know it.
Other examples in nature exist of this give-and-take process. If you watch a gaggle of geese flying overhead in a V-formation you’ll notice the leaders actually alternate; as each bird flaps its wings, it creates an updraft making it easier for the birds behind them to fly. When the leader tires of giving maximum effort, it falls back into formation and receives the updraft from the birds ahead of it.
Another example of nature’s constant exchange is the river. It’s been said that you can never step n the same river twice. This is because the water that constitutes the part of the river where you are stepping is continuously flowing out and being replaced by new water. If there was no place for the water to flow, the river would stagnate and become toxic like the Dead Sea.
The Source of our being (the silent intelligence mentioned in earlier blog posts, which gives rise to everything that ever was and will be) receives our intention by reading the vibrations we give. In other words, our thoughts and emotions give the Source its delivery orders. The physical level is created and manifested from a subtle level via our thoughts, beliefs and emotions. As a result of this intention, we experience things on the physical level with our 5 senses.
Everything we experience comes from the field of pure potential. This beautiful symbiotic flow is within all we experience in the world. Life itself is giving and receiving in action. The Source just gives and receives back everything you give it, only to give again. Things come into existence; they have a beginning, they give of themselves, and they have an end. The universe receives the energy and information back into the field of pure potential.
Actually, this process is happening every millisecond at the speed of light. Since our lives are constantly vibrating with energy, the Source is giving, receiving, and giving information again. The information contained in the universe is constantly in flux; with every pulse of information, there is birth, and there is death. Understanding your role in this energetic exchange, from giving someone a smile to taking your next breath, will give you a new tool to open yourself to greater energy flow, more affluence, better health, and more fulfilling relationships. You will truly understand that what you get out of life is directly proportional to what you put into it.
The first step to enjoying a more successful life is to understand your current behavioral patterns, and determine if you’re living up to your maximum potential in the areas of life that are important to you. In other words: what do you really want in life?
“Your Life Focus” is a tool that will help you identify both the strong points in your life and behavior, as well as areas where you may not feel as fulfilled as you’d like. In this exercise you’ll be able to clearly see the areas that could use improvement.
The center of the wheel represents the number 0 on a scale of 10. The outer edge that runs along the circumference of the circle represents 10. The further you get from the center to that outer edge, the higher the number will be.
Take a moment to copy this wheel on a sheet of paper, complete with lines to separate each section, and label it according to what you see here: Health, Education, and so forth. In each section, draw an arc from left to right at the point that represents the number you feel most accurately reflects your life at the moment. Repeat this process until there’s a line in every section at the number you feel is accurate. Here’s a brief description of a few sections and their practical applications to get you started:
Health: physical fitness and general health.
Education: ongoing learning and and expansion of the intellect. Your brain is a muscle, and like all muscles, it will atrophy if not stretched. Do you exercise it regularly and challenge it with new ideas or experiences?
Self: personal development, such as motivation and self-awareness.
Play: usually known as “me time”, used for recreation, hobbies and leisure activities.
Career: your professional success as well as professional satisfaction. Do you love your job, or do you dread waking up each day to go to work?
Wealth: finances and material possessions. Do you have money but deny yourself certain conveniences you would enjoy? Do you have enough money to maintain a comfortable lifestyle?
Contribution: a sense of purpose and satisfaction at what you contribute to society. How does your life and career contribute to the improvement of the world around you?
Now, take a look at the results of the exercise. Do the lines meet up for a well-rounded, balanced life? Or is it staggered and uneven? Think of it like a bicycle tire: would it roll smoothly down the street, or would you be in for a bumpy ride? Being aware of your life’s current focus offers you the power to improve areas that need more attention, while maintaining the areas you’re satisfied with.
On a separate sheet of paper, write down the section names again and what you really want to accomplish with each one. Be honest with yourself, as that will ultimately help you achieve these goals. What’s blocking you from realizing your potential in each section? Write these down as well.
Rather than trying to tackle several sections at once, concentrate on one or two areas at a time and give yourself 90 days to focus your attention on them. This way the change will occur more naturally, allowing you to sustain it. Remember, fire burns brightly and is a spectacular sight, but will die just as quickly; water flows more subtly, but can stay the same course year after year. When you’re satisfied with your progress in a particular area and know you can sustain that change, move onto the next section.
Natural law applies to every sentient being. It allows you to tap into your true potential more easily and lead a more fulfilling, successful life. This law guides your destiny every moment of your life, and acts according to the choices you make.
So what is this “natural law”? It’s the process through which change happens, when potential is actualized. According to Deepak Chopra, it’s “the process by which the observer becomes the observed and…by which the seer becomes the seen.” The definition of this law assumes the following:
- Ancient vedic wisdom states there are three components to reality: the source of creation, the process of creation, and creation itself. In modern terms, they’re called Spirit, Mind, and Body. The Observer is both the process of observing and being observed; the Thinker is both the process of thought and the subject of it. These components all come from the same invisible power, the same quiet source inside yourself.
- The universe is always intelligent, and everything within it exists for a reason. It’s not intelligent only at certain times, and chaotic at others.
- The universe always possesses order; nothing is random.
- Everything comes into being from the same source, and in the same way.
In order to create sustainable change and be successful in life, you need to understand how change happens in the universe so you can use this knowledge of natural law to your advantage—rather than constantly battling against it.
Success can be defined in several ways:
- It implies self-mastery over your thoughts, words and actions. It’s essentially the freedom from self-sabotage, and the ability to act purposefully on your convictions.
- It’s the ability to see meaningful goals to fruition.
- It allows you to fulfill your desires and dreams effortlessly.
- It grants you good health, fulfilling relationships, motivating energy, and an enthusiasm for life.
- It’s the realization and actualization of your creative freedom.
- It’s emotional and psychological stability at the core of your existence.
- Finally, it’s a sense of well-being and peace of mind that affects and influences every aspect of your life.
Discovering where you are in life physically, emotionally, and psychologically will help you determine what you’d like to improve and achieve on your path to success.