Why is it so difficult to stay present? (part 1)

  1. The brain is like a computer.  It uses the operating system and programs that the factory and or you download into it.  If you have not downloaded an Adobe Acrobat reader, a PDF file will look like this to you when you open it: ¤◊◊◊∏◊◊◊◊◊◊—∇◊∏∪◊⌈◊◊◊〈∇»Ξ∴◊◊
  2. So too with the brain.  If an experience, opinion, behavior, etc., was not in our social conditioning (programming), we will tend to dismiss it or disagree with it, and we will not be able to access the opposite without intentionally focusing and downloading a new program (behavior, perception, etc.).
  3. So the first challenge to staying present is understanding the automation in the brain that lulls us away from seeing each moment through the unbiased lens without the overlay of historical programming.  We have to want to challenge our thinking and our assumptions if we want to access the present moment and its gift of pure potential, inspiration, and Power. When we humbly accept that we have not received and downloaded all the very best hardware and software available to date, we are blessed with the  awareness that our conditioning is
    1. often causing damaging perceptions,
    2. locking us into a default operating system that uses the same coping mechanisms (programs) over and over even if they haven’t worked in the past,
    3. and producing automatic, often undesirable behaviors…

…to be continued.

I will never forget when my daughter was just two years old, as I was yelling at her for refusing to get out of her bathtub, she looked up at me and said, “Someone must have been mean to you when you were a kid.”  Oh, my….out of the mouths of babes!!!!! The blood rushed out of my head.  I had a great Mom, who also (understandably) yelled at me and my three siblings quite often.  We were a handful and she was raising us alone.  My dad died leaving her with four children under the age of 11 and she had to work full-time!  Decades later, I was a mom with none of those stressors.  But I coped with defiance as if I did have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I hated my behavior.  I wanted to be Supermom, but I couldn’t see that I was causing my life pattern to repeat by awfulizing the moment and reacting as if my hair were on fire.  I loved and still love this child more than life itself and yet, I couldn’t change because I didn’t challenge my perceptions.  I thought she was out of control, but it was really me who was out of control.  You will see in later posts that in time life forced me to examine my thinking and begin to change how I see things.  I became able to use this type of resistance to the moment to get my attention and then make a shift.  I began to captain my ship.  It took focus to turn the ship around, but my awareness that the momentum of my past course was trying to prevent me from my new direction, gave me the willingness to let go of judgments and demands of my old life.

IDENTIFICATION

I just re-read my post from Monday about the parking lot incident which illustrates identification, the first step toward ‘freedom from the bondage of self.’ Identification is one of my most valuable self-improvement tools. It allows me to assess the effectiveness of a certain behavior and not judge the person exhibiting it. Identification also frees me from chain-of-pain perpetuated by the prison of self-deception. Because I am able to IDentify a characteristic, I recognize it from memories of my past experiences. If I am willing to accept that I have been just as immature and forgive myself for the imperfection, I open the floodgates of compassion and forgiveness toward the person Compassiontempting me to scorn. Miraculously, I feel love for this person who has not yet found this path to inner peace. An overwhelming sense of gratitude follows as a result of realizing that forgiving myself is the key to freedom and peace of mind. How simple is that?

Okay…simple, but not so easy! It is just so tempting to go for the temporary high of ‘righteous’ indignation. Outrage is denial of my own earlier outrageous behavior. The brief exhilaration of feeling ‘better than’ comes from ignorance to the automatic low that must follow from karmic kickback. Why must I feel shame soon after feeling pride? It is because my disgust implies my innocence as if I have never and/or would never do something like that. However, I would not be agitated by this person if I didn’t feel shame about similar behaviors that I won’t admit to myself. Instead, my reaction would be magnanimous and I get a wonderful feeling about myself that lasts. When I tell myself that my agitation is about disapproval of them and not myself, they need to change – not me. While that may seem convenient, it is also very dis-empowering. I am doomed to repeat what I won’t admit. It sets me up for another opportunity to behave shamefully and then another to opportunity to temporarily feel better about myself by shaming someone else, and so on, and so on, and….

Admitting is the act of letting in. I can’t release what I haven’t let in! Conversely, the minute I admit a flaw, I can accept it, forgive myself and move on without carrying it around, walled off buried deep in my psyche like an abscess that causes me to react any time someone touches it. That which I resist will persist. Better to feel the pain of admitting it, so I can let it go. This is like feeling the momentary pain when piercing an abscess so I can feel the relief thereafter instead of guarding and defending it forever. If I could recognize my aggressor’s self-sabotaging animosity as something I have been able to conquer, my response will be gracious. This is far more likely to benefit me and anyone involved or even observing the exchange. Any time I have been able to behave with grace or dignity, it has put an extra spring in my step – not from pride, but from LOVE.

Hold the Vision

One of my clients has a daughter who serves as a barometer for his well-being.

He came to me for guidance handling the emotional stress of divorce, being a single dad and new fiscal challenges.  He was high on a potent cocktail of resentment and fear.   When we met, he was stuck in a chain of pain that seemed as if it was manifest in his daughter. His relationship with his daughter has made my job very easy!  She was like my Cliff Notes.  Once he described what was ‘wrong’ with her, I knew how to help him arrive at his solution.  Like clockwork, when his daughter acted out, he reacted  impulsively with feelings of anger and even rage.  Then he felt engulfed by remorse for his behavior.  He told me how much he loved his daughter and didn’t want to hurt her, but….. he was just so afraid that she would end up like her mother!  Having heard about some of his former wife’s antics, I certainly understood why he hoped for something different for his daughter.  I also clearly saw why some of his daughter’s behavior would remind him of her mother and trigger his fear.  Luckily, it was easy for him to see that saying things like, “You’re just like your mother!” would not help his daughter to blossom into a woman of substance, especially since she was aware of his disdain for her mother.  But nothing was working.  He could not issue enough consequences or express enough disapproval or launch enough warning flares to get her to change.  Thank goodness.

Because of his failure to effect a change in his daughter after having exhausted every option he could imagine, by the time he came to me, he was teachable.  I explained to him H.O.W. I surmised in less than 3 minutes that he that he will have the relationship of his dreams with his daughter.  From the moment we first spoke, he was Honest, Open and Willing.  If one of those components was missing he would have had to cycle back through his pain-driven chain-reactions until he was ready to  let go.

H.O.W. can you spot a winner? They are Honest, Open and Willing.  Denial is a valuable tool of the human psyche.  It protects us when we could be overwhelmed by circumstances.  However, it will also destroy us if we are not willing to face it when it is no longer serving us.  How will you know if you are stuck in denial?  You will get repeated unpleasant feedback from your environment.  This is our inner guidance system at work letting us know it is time for another growth spurt.  Getting honest with ourselves and others allows us to change for the better…evolve.  However, honesty alone is not enough.  Openness to new ways of thinking and acting is a need for intentional change.  I like the expression, “My best thinking got me here.”   Until you are open to see that your way of processing events is no longer working for you, you will keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.  Lastly, winners are willing to change.  They don’t feel like a failure when their way didn’t work.  They are excited to find and try a different way of thinking or acting that will give them what they want.  You will know they are willing by their actions.  There is no other way to show willingness.  Period.

Coming to me, who another one of my clients calls her tormentor,  as you process another of life’s growth opportunities, is almost a guarantee that you know H.O.W. it works!  I say that in humility and with a big smile on my face because I know that just showing up to hear me say, “You are the problem'” is an act of willingness!   Someone once told me that he hated me for more than a year because I wrote on a 3×5 card “I AM THE PROBLEM,” and told him to tape it to his mirror.  But, he never forgot it.  And, he knew that my motives were pure and helpful.  So, gradually he became open to try to understand what I meant.  That is when he realized that if he is the problem, then he is also the solution!.  Oprah calls that an “Aha moment.”  In the case of my client with the daughter issues, when he understood his role in real-izing her ‘flaws,’  his behavior changed immediately.   I showed him how to define the exact nature of his objections.  Once he identified the problem in her, I directed him within asking, “How is this a mirror of you?”  He began to notice that if he didn’t  do what was necessary to take care of himself with loving compassion, his daughter would show risky behavior.  If he was too hard on himself, she may have a cutting relapse.  If he was being judgmental or resentful, she would judge him, resent his ‘flaws,’ and ignore him for weeks.

Realizing that she is a reflection of his spiritual fitness, he  began to change his behavior with her and made great changes with his internal dialogue. Of course he had his moments of  ‘two-steps forward and one step backward,’ but that is life.  No one ever gets through life without what they perceive as a misstep.  When we are honest about the events that came before a little slip backwards, we prevent a mindless slide back into that powerless chain of pain.  Honesty allows us to correct course. Every so-called step backwards can serve as the catalyst to move us even further forward…. if we don’t stare at it and blow it out of proportion.

Meditation is a microcosm of life – as well access to pure awareness of the Source of life.  In a meditative retreat our awareness of the stimulus of life slips  to the silence of pure Source awareness.  We come out of  silent Source awareness feeling refreshed and ready for anything.  The brief retreats in life that we call setbacks, give us the fuel or motivation for forward motion.  The ancients liken it to an archer pulling back on his bow with the arrow.  That retreat gives the arrow all the dynamism for its flight.  Lamenting losses , missteps, etc. is like trying to shoot an arrow without the tension of backwards motion.

Demonstrating great skill with one of my favorite tools, the mirror of life and relationship, my client began to see major changes in his relationship with his daughter.  In time, he actually saw major changes in her.  He began to notice that the connection between his attitude and his experiences ran deep indeed.  When he assumed responsibility and gained response-ability for his experiences, he stopped all blame. When  his daughter dented their expensive car, he conveyed his relief and gratitude that his priceless daughter wasn’t damaged.  In the past she may not have been hurt in the car accident but the invisible damage her father would have caused by overreacting would have affected her indefinitely.  Instead, he gave her a huge hug and helped her come up with a plan to pay for the damages  – resisting his impulse to take care of everything himself.  He gave her the ability to assume responsibility for the events of her life!  The pain in her pocketbook was a small price to pay for the empowerment she received by her father’s respect. His compassionate, tempered response felt like trust to his daughter, which is quite different from approval for doing  the ‘right’ way  or being ‘good enough.’

That wasn’t the last time she did something that would have made his head spin in the past.  In fact, a few events followed that I am not sure I would have been able to handle without a lot of  fear and some regrettable behavior.  But, he held the vision. He used Joel Osteen’s trick:  When someone we love misbehaves, instead of  highlighting or inflaming the situation by rehashing and shaming, simply accept what happened and then silently say, “Subject to change!”  Then quickly get back to your vision of this person at their best.  Refuse to dwell anywhere else.  This loving dad did just that in the face of some very trying situations. I remember being in awe of his growth and humbled by his devotion.   Before I could catch my breath he began regaling me with the most joyous stories of her transformation.  Because of his unconditional love and acceptance, she began to feel worthy.  She started to take better care of herself.  She acted with poise and dignity.  She was beginning to impress and humble him as he had done with me.  I have the greatest job I can imagine!

Changing How You Look at Things Changes What You’re Looking At

I want to show you how you can end stress associated with control issues.  Actually, that’s redundant!  Isn’t all stress caused by feeling powerless to guarantee a desired result?

One of the most important principles underlying everything I say and do and teach is: Life is Lived From the Inside→Out.  There are many potent principles associated with this Truth.  One of the more challenging and equally rewarding to use is: Thoughts Are More Powerful Than Words or Things.  This principle is challenging because it rarely produces instant gratification and we can’t prove cause and effect at this level.  And yet, if you pay attention, you will know that all the events of your life, began at  the invisible level of thought.  Awareness is key.  If you are not paying attention you will miss it and dismiss the most effective way to create the life of your dreams.    When we understand that our inner world creates our outer world, we know that trying to control people, places or things to get what we want is an option on par with rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The formula is simple:

  • Become aware of stress.
  • Change your perspective by looking at the scenario from the perspective of the other person, the institution or an impartial observer.
  • Reinterpret the situation.  Spend as much time as it takes to imagine a way to  interpret the event(s) that benefits you.
  • Adjust your attitude by acting as if this interpretation is the correct interpretation.  
  • Use this perception every time the topic comes up.
  • If new information is presented about this topic that negates this, simply repeat the steps.

Many years ago, one of  my best friends betrayed me.  I was divorcing my husband at the time.  I felt like I had been abandoned, unappreciated, unloved and alone when I couldn’t save my marriage.  I was so afraid, depleted and depressed.  This was one of the darkest periods in my life.  To make matters worse, I discovered that friends and relatives don’t like when you upset the apple cart.  At least, back then in my little world, divorce came with stigma attached.  My friends weren’t happy that I became a single  mom and my relatives were not too thrilled with the idea of a ‘failure’ in the genealogy.

One of my go-to ‘peeps’ was so disturbed by my decision, that she set out to destroy my reputation.  My situation at the time was rife with highly effective circumstantial evidence that could be used to ‘frame’ me.  I was the unwitting starlet of my soap opera.  I faced accusation and rejection from people I loved at a time when I needed them most.  Luckily, I already had a bit of an awakening having read Deepak Chopra’s book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and James Allen’s classic, As a Man Thinketh.

We reap what we sow in thought word and deed.  This is inescapable.

This  meant that I was enduring that particular undesirable ‘harvest’ because of seeds I must have sown in the past.  If I wanted a different harvest, I would have to plant new seeds.  I would have to change something.  In this case, I first had to figure out what seeds I had planted – because I had no idea what I did to get those results.  It seemed so obvious to me that she was the problem and I was the victim!  How could I ever find a way to take responsibility for this cruelty?  Then it occurred to me.  My life had a very strong theme running through it.  From the day my father died when I was a young girl, I developed an increasingly powerful victim lens  through which I perceived seemingly unprovoked unwanted circumstances.

I needed to reframe my perception or I would keep real-izing these types of scenarios.  I remember feeling so grateful that I had figured out why I often found myself saying, “Why me?”  The warm and cozy blanket of denial known as self-pity is particularly challenging to remove.  It feels so good to blame others because it gives a brief ego-driven high of  righteousness and… quite conveniently, if you are at fault, I don’t have to change.   You do!  Unfortunately,  blaming others also means my happiness is dependent upon other people or scenarios beyond my control.  Why would I choose this feeble strategy?  Fortunately, by assuming responsibility for all the circumstances of my life, I give myself response-ability.  I can respond to an affront, insult, set-back, etc. in a way that will diffuse any negative energy associated with me and begin to build a new momentum in the direction of my choosing.

Awareness of my thoughts, feelings & emotions and the  consequences of owning or validating them, gives me the power to choose the next chapter of my life.  Conversely, if I am not paying attention to the activity between my ears(positive or negative),  I give up my freedom to choose whether what comes next is beneficial or harmful  to me.

In the case of my  friend, every time a realized I was obsessing, or got a strong feeling of self-pity or resentment, I stopped what I was doing so I could address the situation, because I knew it would be a runaway train in no time. I used to take a moment or longer to bless her and forgive her.  Pausing for a minute helped me to remember that what she thought she was doing to me, she was actually doing to herself.  She could only harm me if I ‘ate the poison’ by reacting to it, thereby tacitly agreeing with the charges. In pausing, I could also reflect on  the  thoughts that came before the gripping sensation associated with my earlier negativity. Once I identified what tapes were playing in my mind, I would replace them with new ones that made me feel better, stronger, wiser, happier, positive, etc.  I could access compassion  for her because I knew that what we ‘send out’ comes back multiplied. I knew that she had no idea of the havoc that her behavior would wreak on her life later… or she wouldn’t do it!  Meanwhile,I knew I  was fortunate because I could choose to return unkindness with love knowing that I will be so happy when  that love comes back to me exponentially.

I was vigilant about harboring no ill will.  However, I did not seek her friendship either.  That would have been an act of cruelty toward myself that would also bring an undesired harvest.  In less than a year, it was time for her to reap the harvest of the seeds she planted with me.  Misfortune she never could have imagined caused her much shame and threatened her good name and reputation.  She found herself in a very compromised situation suddenly overwhelmed by new responsibilities thrust upon her.  Without batting an eyelash, I assumed as much of her load as I was suited to handle.  Her young daughter spent the better part of a year with me going home at night just to sleep.  I did whatever else I could do. The past never occurred to me.  This is why thoughts are more powerful than words or deeds.  My response to her suffering that resulted in a beautiful win-win for all parties, was only possible with a pure heart.  If I had continued to have a grudge, I could have felt vindicated.  I may have enjoyed some twisted sense of satisfaction that ‘she got what was coming to her.’ I promise you, this would have caused subconscious self-loathing and an unintended negative spiral that I would not believe I deserved!

Instead,after a couple of years, my decision to force myself to feel compassion instead of resentment (even when I didn’t mean it at first) reaped a harvest that continues to feed my soul today.  I have in her, a most loyal friend.  We have trustworthy friendship based on respect, personal responsibility and generosity of spirit.  Perhaps even more importantly, I gained so much self-respect by honoring the Golden Rule.  Gold it is!

POST MAYAN CALENDAR MISINTERPRETATION MESS

THE END OF THE WORLD

THE END OF THE WORLD

The end of the world is an oxymoron.  How can something end, if it never began?  What has  been ending is our belief  in matter.  In Sanskrit the term “Maya” means illusion. The end of the Mayan calendar is the end of the illusion of the world − the end of the illusion of time and space. We already know and have known for thousands of years that matter does not exist. What we believe is solid is actually energy and information vibrating at the speed of light. Our nervous system cannot process data at this speed; so it gives us an illusory experience much like the way films make a series of still frames seem like fluid movement. We have also known that there is no such thing as time. All we have is the present; everything else exists in our imagination only.

What we experience as the world is an illusion, a trick of the senses.

In our lifetime the prevailing languages of this phenomenon are science and technology. The knowledge underlying both paradigms also underlies the languages of art, religion, philosophy and love. It also underlies language itself, which is why I am so fascinated by etymology. The scientific and technological paradigms are so exciting and beneficial to our human experience…provided we don’t allow them to enable the ‘lie’ and become dependent on them. We must understand the implications of the fundamental knowledge underlying every paradigm – especially now after the end of the Mayan Calendar.

What comes after the end?

After the end is the realization of eternity. The end of the Mayan calendar is the beginning of awareness of oneself as an eternal present moment experiencer. We stop identifying ourselves with our experiences and the objects of our perception. We begin to understand matter as movement of energy and information on the screen of our imagination. This is like snapping out of terror, anxiety or deep sadness as we watch a movie and remember that this is only a projection; we regain peace of mind because we know we have a choice.  We can leave the theater, change the film, or ride it out to see what happens.  We remember that we are there for our enjoyment. In our personal lives we begin to relax in the knowledge that what we call “reality” is a projection of our consciousness as a result of our focusing with such intensity that its density now appears to us if it is in formation.

We must stay present to avoid being tricked into the belief that what is “out there” is happening to us or has any power over us. When we are present, we see ourselves focusing everything into existence. When we are present, we know if we are choosing a constructive or destructive focus. When we are present, we know we can arbitrarily choose a different perspective or interpretation that feels better, more loving, empowered, and aligned with us. We can choose to respond to an insult with compassion instead of reacting with more toxicity. That tiny shift chosen from the position of present moment power – free from the powerless enslavement of past conditioning – empowers us to create a different experience that will have a strong foundation. Therefore, when we are present, the outcome is not in doubt. Ultimately then, when we are in the present, we are not afraid; we lose interest in controlling outcomes or people. We also know that no person, place, circumstance or thing has any control over us.

For people who have learned to let go of any false power (titles, positions, degrees, wealth) and joyously step into true Power, this will be a miraculous transition. We don’t give up the titles, or the positions, degrees or wealth. We just give up the illusion of their power to give us what we want. Rather, we have all of those things as a result our demonstration of true Power, which affords us authentic, joyful focus in the present moment…eternally. For those who cannot or will not apply this to their daily living, this could be a bumpy ride.

Henry Reed describes the different approaches as a choice to experience the shift as rapture or rupture. I love that.

Science and technology gave us the Internet as a result of this knowledge that everything is energy and information coming from one source that is accessible from any and every pinpoint of space and time. The invisible interconnected web of existence that had been inaccessible to the majority of humanity arose in physical form via a computer that mimicked it. We simply focus the computer according to what we want to experience and… voila! It is crucial to understand that this knowledge of the Truth of Oneness is what gave birth to the idea of the Internet. At this time when the illusion of form and separation are breaking down, we need a clear understanding of our own ability to tap into and create from this same source. We also have instant access to this seemingly miraculous, instantaneous information and power. Unlike a computer, we can originate. We can choose what we will experience with and without a computer. The miracle of this awakening is the understanding that if we shift our focus, we shift our experience. We can look at the same person, place, thing or experience with a different perspective. This will change the energy and information of what we are experiencing and its nature must change as well, as if we are photoshopping our experiences.

Please understand that in this post Mayan Calendar atmosphere, this seemingly subtle nuance will have cataclysmic impact on your future.  The intangible shift from perceiving reality as something that happens to you to from you, opens the path to joy, freedom and pure rapture as  you navigate what might  seem like rupture or destruction to  those who have depended on  the old paradigm.  If you don’t see the impact of your perceptions, you are not paying close enough attention. Termites do more damage annually than all natural disasters combined. When a butterfly flaps its wings as it flies in an area off the tip of Africa….

Tune in later in the week for some clear examples of how the shift is experienced as rapture or rupture as well as important tools to make choosing rapture effortless…

CONTROL ISSUES

Just before Christmas when I was 7 years old my dad died and I experienced a life altering paradigm shift.  It was as if the curtains closed at the end of an act on the stage of my life and when they reopened, the scenery had completely changed leaving me feeling unsafe and bewildered.  As a result, I can rationalize, deny and forget anything.  It is a mechanism I employed to make sense my unfathomable reality.  It helped me survive the grief and terror that threatened my sanity for decades and felt life threatening.  I thought I was safe in my head even though I knew on some subconscious level that I didn’t feel safe.  This ‘survival’ mechanism carried me until I was 35 years old when it backfired for the last time.

At the age of 35 I experienced another paradigm shift.  I could no longer escape my reality. I had to embark on that treacherous journey from my head, where I rationalized my experiences, to my heart, where I began realizing them.  When I ‘surrendered’ and began processing my crippling feelings of grief, rage, shame, resentment, etc., something amazing happened.  I learned that the seemingly miraculous solution to any of my ‘problems’ is contained within my deepest fears! When I began to feel the feelings I had resisted, I made some critical discoveries:

  1. That which I resist persists.
  2. My emotions won’t kill me.
  3. Emotions are simply energy in motion.

    EMOTION = Energy in Motion

  4. My emotions they cannot pass if I resist/deny/stuff/block them.
  5. When I feel my feelings, I can release them and drop my ‘baggage.’
  6. Once I process the emotion, I discover that “peace that passes all understanding” rationally.
  7. Established in this peace of mind I am able to and I want to stay in present moment awareness.
  8. The Intelligence and the Power that creates worlds exists only in the present moment.
  9. Connected to that Power – my fears slip away and I gain ‘control’ of my life.
  10. When I feel a constricting emotion it is my sign that I am shutting down, resisting my experience, and cutting myself off from the Power to change that  undesirable experience .
  11. When I accept the experience as it is, I return to the present and the Power it has.  A feeling of expansion results.
  12. The ‘control’ (over my thoughts, words, deeds and experiences) that I craved was in my Awareness all along!
  13. As long as I was looking for that Power and Control over my life ‘out there,’ it would remain illusive.
  14. This EOS  (Emotional Operating System) is my infallible IGS – Internal Guidance System.  If I remain aware and pay attention to it, it will guide me to the life of my dreams and deepest desires.

I can think of many examples in life when I ignored the wisdom of my IGS and paid a steep price.  One obvious example was in my early twenties when I took a job as a mortgage-backed securities bond broker.  I was about to become the only woman on a dog-eat-dog bond-trading floor.  I had many reasons for taking the job despite a nagging ‘sinking’ feeling.  I was unable to show up for my first week on the job because I had colitis, which in retrospect was my IGS on overdrive, desperately trying to get my attention.  I had stuffed every emotion that surfaced before and after taking the job because I was in survival mode.  I felt that I had to stuff the grief associated with selling my soul to survive because I believed I had to take that job.  The disease I developed as a result of my dis-ease with my decision forced me stop physically.  But since I refused to stop mentally long enough to just be in the present moment, I delayed my discovery of true Power.

I was extremely ‘successful” and convinced myself that I was in control (happy, safe and secure).  I went on compromising my integrity for years saying and doing things that made me so uncomfortable I could hardly stand in my skin…another feeling I worked at denying !  Every year it became more difficult to contain all the trapped energy of my repressed emotions.  Finally at age 35, I reached the tipping point. Choices I made (albeit unconsciously) resulted in a situation that I would typically have denied, but at that particular moment, I could not house another emotion without imploding.  As a result, I accepted reality in the moment and suddenly, in touch with true Power, all my walls collapsed instantly and I stepped into this new miraculous paradigm.

NASH FLASH

 BELIEVING IS SEEING

 

 Therefore, when we believe that seeing is believing, the notion that history repeats itself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy by default.

Out-of-the box thinkers, visionaries, true leaders and Powerful people don’t look to history to decide our future.

 

WHO ARE YOU?

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WEEK 4

Today I introduce the third essential tool to help you overcome self-defeating behavior.

 With consistent  practice of these simple habits, your thoughts, words and deeds can and will match what is in your heart!

  1. OBSERVATION
  2. REFLECTION
  3. EXCAVATION

    You’ve learned to observe without judgement,  revisit your regrettable decisions reflecting on what lead to the choices you made, and what you might have done differently and now it is time to excavate the source of your counter-productive choices and figure out why your hot buttons are so hot.  Dig deep.  Head into your discomfort. Come to terms with your vulnerability, and you will find yourself responding to life’s problems with confidence and poise.

     If you seek to align your thoughts and actions, excavation is a crucial, necessary step.

    Week 4 EXCAVATION Click on the image to watch the video.


WEEK 3

Today I introduce the second essential tool to help you

• direct your thoughts 

• bridle your mouth 

• approve of your own behavior 

 Your thoughts, words and deeds can and will match what is in your heart consistently!

REFLECTION

We’ve learned to observe without judgement, and now it is time to revisit our decisions.  Ask yourself what lead to the choices you made, and what you might have done differently. Reflection is the second step to aligning your thoughts and actions.

Week 3 REFLECTION Click on the image to watch the video.

Today I discuss a crucial tool to help you align your mind, body and spirit.

OBSERVATION

Simply take note of your surroundings, your environment, your thoughts, reactions, and feelings. No judging, no reporting, no resolving. Awareness is the first step to aligning your thoughts and actions.

OBSERVATION
click on the photo to watch the video

Week 1: TOOLS – What You Need To Know

The second point: THE BRAIN CANNOT DISCERN FACT FROM FANTASY.

This is why we have emotional and physical reactions to stories being played out on a movie screen – and to situations throughout our day that actually have nothing to do with us. Exhaustive scientific research has failed to locate the consciousness (aka awareness, presence, thinker, observer, conscience, etc.) that appears from time to time throughout the movie – and throughout our day – to remind the brain of the truth.

FEAR = Fantasized Evil Appearing Real

Most people have not been trained to cultivate and keep up a disciplined connection with this presence or “present moment awareness.” As a result they have very little power to control the behavior of their conditioned mind.  Events from the past leave an imprint on the brain.  Later when seemingly similar circumstances present themselves, the brain will issue warning signals.  If we are not paying attention (present/aware) we will believe the brain’s interpretation of  imminent danger and react accordingly.  We are re-acting the plot from a situation that may have happened years ago and have no relevance to the current situation whatsoever!  If we are in the moment, we open ourselves to the possibility of a different interpretation.  We can choose to respond differently and experience an entirely different outcome.  When we respond we pause to respire and ponder.

Present moment awareness frees me from being held hostage by my past.

Week 1: TOOLS – What You Need to Know

“Knowledge has infinite organizing power.”

−Deepak Chopra

I will be posting some important points to ponder over the coming days as you expect my next video blog, when I will introduce the first tool/discipline required to gain control over your thoughts, words and deeds:

The first point: THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS.

The brain is a non-conscious organ that functions like a computer processing ONLY what it can with the programs  installed on it.  If the brain has not been given the software to process information (through formal education and/or socializing), it computes the material as nonsense, much like a pc would read a Word document without the Microsoft Word™ program installed. The document is not nonsense simply because our pc doesn’t have the programming to understand it.  It is, however, nonsense to dismiss the document as nonsense!  There are many ways to compensate for different operating systems and programs so that the facts on the page, which remain absolute regardless of processor, are comprehensible by all.  Likewise, when we judge others and dismiss their opinions and actions, we are the fools.  Their experience is very real for them and we may miss some valuable information if we don’t make the effort to bridge the gap between our different programming and conditioning/socializing.

What are some examples of this phenomenon that you have experienced? Have you ever changed your mind?  Have you ever strongly disagreed with someone (your parents, perhaps) and marveled at your alignment with them years later?  If you have ever once changed your mind, you  know that believing you are right about anything is not sound.

Another example is religious disdain or worse yet, intolerance.  The fact that a religion works for one group of people doesn’t indicate that no other religion is has value; yet, we see countless examples of judgments without thorough comprehension.

When we are ‘unteachable,’ closed-minded or attached to the way things have always been, we subject ourselves to varying degrees of limitation, irrelevance and isolation as if we refuse to upgrade various hardware or software for a computer.  This is true for the most intelligent of as well as the least!  I saw a conversation on Larry King between Stephen Hawkin and Deepak Chopra and realized that for all of his genius, Stephen Hawking was actually dismissing Deepak Chopra’s claims because they had not been his experience.  Additionally, he had never even tried to gain that experience!

We must be open to the experiences of others, challenge our comfort zone, and  embrace change to evolve.  I’m not sure where I first heard this expression, but I sure do love it:

“When I am alone in my mind, I am in enemy territory.”

−Unknown

YOUR PATH TO PEACE OF MIND

Week 1: WELCOME!

I have cut out and posted on my fridge a full-page Nike print adds that simply says, “LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR.”  These words are superimposed over a photograph of a woman jumping over what she seems to believe is a body of water. From the reader’s angle, it is clear that she is really just clearing a puddle!

So, here I go…

I have brought you my first in a series of video blogs designed to help you gain peace of mind regardless of your circumstances. It is located near the top of the right-hand sidebar on this page.  I hope you’ll watch, subscribe, tune into my blog for associated tools and exercises as well as listen and subscribe to my weekly podcast.

I have also included a link to a video I posted on Facebook at the beginning of the year to hold myself accountable to myself. Today I am following through.  To see my very first video blog post, click on this thumbnail:

If you would like to ask me questions in person on my podcast (anonymously or not) or if you would like me address a certain topic or question, please contact me via email at laura@lauranash.com and I will get back to you.

Warmest regards,

Laura

NASH FLASH

 REACT

An impulsive action, which results in reinacting the scenario again

RESPOND

An intentional action involving pause to respire & ponder,
which results in change and personal growth –and better outcomes!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

MIND YOUR MIND!

If you need evidence that your thoughts, alone, can and do impact the world around you, just stare at the back of someone’s neck with the intention that they they are going to get that creepy, stalked sensation. When they grab their neck or turn around you’ll get your confirmation.

 The world around you is picking up on the thoughts you intensify – 

whether either one knows it or not!

Lesson from Job(s)

It is our great fortune to have witnessed the personification of so many Truths in the life and achievements or Steve Jobs.  His iconic legacy will be available for all to draw upon when illustrating Natural Law, the governing principles of Creation.  His larger-than-life demonstration of The Power of Pure Potential (aka the Power within), The Power of Intention (focus), The Power of Self-Referral (not accepting conventional wisdom), The Power of  Visualization (imagination), The Powers of Simplicity and  Boldness (‘just do it’), The Power of Detachment (from fear, from the outcome, from the known) brought us closer to understanding that while human, we are also super-human.  If we allow ourselves to seize these Powers, move out of the illusion of safety of our comfort zone and venture forth into the realization of our seemingly miraculous potential, we can, like Steve Jobs, achieve anything we can conceive and believe.
Jobs, sadly, also demonstrated the results of violating these Laws.  Stories of his impertenance are sprinkled throughout accounts of his creative prowess.  In addition to his micro-managing (controlling? autocratic?) leadership style, he was known to belittle people, seek revenge, and harbor grudges.  Whether he was ignorant, defiant or disdainful of such fundamental Laws as The Power of Love, The Power of Attraction, The Power of Compassion, and The Power of Forgiveness, Steve Jobs has left us a few poignant examples of  what happens when we believe we are the Power or that immutable Natural Laws don’t pertain to us.  It is impossible to fool Mother Nature.  We will always reap what we sow.  Pumpkin seeds will never bring forth cherries.  Imagine if he was able to weave the Power of Potential & The Power of Intention with The Powers of Love & Compassion and the Powers of Attraction & Purpose.  He may have inspired the realize-ation of boundless Potential within those he employed.  Empowering others motivated by an absolute trust in the Power of Love without any attachment to the outcome (e.g. not fearing that Knowledge or information is dangerous or belief that your investment in another  may not pay returns) must buoy the leader/teacher exponentially.  It is Law.
Additionally, had he chosen to empower and inspire rather than intimidate, the inescapable Law of Attraction is likely to have drawn far less toxicity to his life experience and perhaps the potential for disease encoded in his DNA could have remained un-real-ized, dormant.  Nature does not compartmentalize; neither do we.  It is impossible!  We cannot have one kind of thought and a different kind of body.  Your body will reflect, measurably, whether you are stressed, angry, grateful or loving, etc.  Make sure that that you employ the Power of Love in all of your intentions, interactions and creations.  The Law of Attraction says we receive back the energy we emit multiplied on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Do you want back what you are giving out?  How would you like it on steroids?

NASH FLASH

The unknown is our playground. 

The known is our graveyard.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

PERCEPTION

It’s not about you.

It is also all about you!

What others think of you, say about you or how they treat you, has nothing to do with you.

What we think, say and do is who we are. 

When we are in denial, we project it onto others.

How you perceive and react to others is a reflection of you. 

For example, reacting in anger to an affront is unconscious agreement with it, 

while reacting with compassion is awareness of oneself on a loftier plane .

 

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

AMENDS

made begrudgingly, without sincerity, or for some ulterior motive (e.g. to ‘keep the peace’)

will mend nothing.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

SELF-SABOTAGE

is the unintended result of two misguided motives:
resentment and people-pleasing

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASHFLASH

MINDFULNESS

becomes a top priority, when one fully understands that form follows thought,
regardless of the thinker’s intention.
We reap what we sew in thought, word and deed, the most potent of which, is thought!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

APRIL MEDITATION SEMINAR BEGINS SUNDAY 4.3.2011

meditation

Stress is the root of all dysfunction in our lives, physically, emotionally or socially. Proper meditation is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress, along with a sense of purpose and meaningful relationships (with ourselves as well as others). With Laura’s guidance, you will learn to effortlessly meditate your way to:
• gain mastery over your inner dialogue
• acquire peace of mind
• sharpen your focus and mental clarity
• improve relationships on all levels (intimate, familial, social and business)
• maintain balance and calm through adversity
• choose your circumstances instead of reacting to them
• experience a profound sense of satisfaction and fullment day to day
• live a life of meaning and purpose

For more information or to register, click the link below:

 

Click here for details.

 

 

 

NASH FLASH

DEFENSELESSNESS

Not having to win… IS winning!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

Nash Flash

FEAR OF CHANGE

is the result of identifying ourselves with the roles we play,

our relationships, where we live and how we do things.

It comes from defining ourselves by our possessions.

The greater the depth of our connection to ourSelves, the One having these experiences,
the less we fear losing them.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

INTENTION

The Intelligence responsible for all experience is literal and exact. It does not discern a loftier intention from sarcasm or self-deprecating humor.

Your words become self-fulfilling prophecy.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

BLAME

This is a tool of the ignorant.  When two magnets are drawn together, which magnet is at fault?

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

The burden of the discipline

remains constant or lessens with consistency;

the burden of avoiding it increases 

exponentially over time.

“The fastest, surest way to self-love is self-discipline.”

– Alphie

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

Numbers don’t lie… They decieve

At face value it is true that we can always count on the fact that

1+1=2.

However, if we need to operate in the realm of the rational and quantifiable,

we could miss out on the magic of synergy.

Worse yet, we may not see it coming at us to disrupt our formulas/plans!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed