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Why is it so difficult to stay present? (part 2)

  1. Awareness is a must for the next requirement, which is willingness.  We must have enough desire to do the work or we will simply default to the path of least of resistance… the way it has always been.Going Your Own Way on Blackboard
  2. If changing was easy, more people would be satisfied with their life on all levels. We have discussed that change is difficult because we are hard-wired to trust our thinking… it is all we know! We have learned that this is a problem because we continually need new coping and thriving mechanisms as our lives evolve in a world that changes around us in ways we cannot control.
  3. When I realize that my freedom is on the other side of this fear of the unknown, I become willing to move through the discomfort of the perpetual flux of each moment.  This means I let go of trying to control people places and things to make them fit into my known reality.  I avail myself of the presence of mind which adapts to the flow of life that creates the cosmos and everything in it.
  4. If I don’t do this, the pain of forcing my perspective on everything will likely cultivate the willingness in time.  Choosing to move through fear is a far more efficient and pleasant path to happiness than being dragged through the inevitable.

…to be continued.

My awareness of these principles was not enough for me to become entirely willing to change.  I wanted to be willing, but I found it so challenging to change.  Yesterday, I used the example of yelling at my two-year-old daughter even though I didn’t want to be that type of mom.  I had the awakening that my thinking (not my child) was the culprit when she was six years old.  I made many attempts to change but found myself going back to her to apologize to her more times than I care to admit.  Without going into detail, I will just tell you that it took ten years for me to totally destroy my credibility with her.  I knew I had pushed her too far.  The thought that I would lose my daughter was my bottom.  I was finally in enough pain that I became willing to let go of “my way” altogether.  I became a listener and the wind at her back.  It took some time to win back her trust, but I let go of my fear about that too! I knew that if I held onto thinking that keeps me in regret (past) or fear (future) I would disconnect myself from the Power that is only available now, the power to trust in goodness and love and walk into my vision for the future.

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Why is it so difficult to stay present? (part 1)

  1. The brain is like a computer.  It uses the operating system and programs that the factory and or you download into it.  If you have not downloaded an Adobe Acrobat reader, a PDF file will look like this to you when you open it: ¤◊◊◊∏◊◊◊◊◊◊—∇◊∏∪◊⌈◊◊◊〈∇»Ξ∴◊◊
  2. So too with the brain.  If an experience, opinion, behavior, etc., was not in our social conditioning (programming), we will tend to dismiss it or disagree with it, and we will not be able to access the opposite without intentionally focusing and downloading a new program (behavior, perception, etc.).
  3. So the first challenge to staying present is understanding the automation in the brain that lulls us away from seeing each moment through the unbiased lens without the overlay of historical programming.  We have to want to challenge our thinking and our assumptions if we want to access the present moment and its gift of pure potential, inspiration, and Power. When we humbly accept that we have not received and downloaded all the very best hardware and software available to date, we are blessed with the  awareness that our conditioning is
    1. often causing damaging perceptions,
    2. locking us into a default operating system that uses the same coping mechanisms (programs) over and over even if they haven’t worked in the past,
    3. and producing automatic, often undesirable behaviors…

…to be continued.

I will never forget when my daughter was just two years old, as I was yelling at her for refusing to get out of her bathtub, she looked up at me and said, “Someone must have been mean to you when you were a kid.”  Oh, my….out of the mouths of babes!!!!! The blood rushed out of my head.  I had a great Mom, who also (understandably) yelled at me and my three siblings quite often.  We were a handful and she was raising us alone.  My dad died leaving her with four children under the age of 11 and she had to work full-time!  Decades later, I was a mom with none of those stressors.  But I coped with defiance as if I did have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I hated my behavior.  I wanted to be Supermom, but I couldn’t see that I was causing my life pattern to repeat by awfulizing the moment and reacting as if my hair were on fire.  I loved and still love this child more than life itself and yet, I couldn’t change because I didn’t challenge my perceptions.  I thought she was out of control, but it was really me who was out of control.  You will see in later posts that in time life forced me to examine my thinking and begin to change how I see things.  I became able to use this type of resistance to the moment to get my attention and then make a shift.  I began to captain my ship.  It took focus to turn the ship around, but my awareness that the momentum of my past course was trying to prevent me from my new direction, gave me the willingness to let go of judgments and demands of my old life.

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Will Pumpkin Seeds Grow Roses?

“I am dealing with a bunch of idiots.”

“She doesn’t know how I feel – I would never say what I really think; I would be fired.”

“Don’t worry, I behaved like a gentleman.”

These are the types of comments I hear every day.

It seems there is a widespread misconception that if we just keep our mouth shut, no harm no foul.  Many believe that if nobody sees the conflict between what we think, how we feel and what we say, then we can control how we are perceived by others.

This is impossible!

roses-in-the-office

Rosy Results

As within, so without.  We can’t plant pumpkin seeds and hope to grow roses.  Our thoughts are seeds that are planted in the fertile soil that is the depths of our mind.  As with seeds buried underground, we don’t see thoughts.  These seeds sprout in our speech and bloom in our action.

When we say something we don’t mean, we are expecting the listener to believe that our pumpkin sprout is actually a rose sprout.  It won’t be long until that sprout comes to full bloom and our pumpkin is impossible to pass-off as a rose.

Energy is how we water our garden.  Positive (honest, open, willing, compassionate, optimistic and loving) energy will grow thoughts, words, deeds and results that are beneficial to everyone. Negative (fearful, resentful, jealous, anxious, dishonest, secretive and hateful) energy gives rise to thoughts, words, deeds and results that are destructive to common purpose.

The more energy we give a thought, the harder it is to disguise.  If a thought is not helpful, it is far easier to nip it in the bud at its inception.  If we pull our attention away from it, then we can correctly say, “No harm no foul.” Our other option is to replace the thought.  Dig up the pumpkin seed and put in a seed that is in line with a solution and/or positive outcome.

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IDENTIFICATION

I just re-read my post from Monday about the parking lot incident which illustrates identification, the first step toward ‘freedom from the bondage of self.’ Identification is one of my most valuable self-improvement tools. It allows me to assess the effectiveness of a certain behavior and not judge the person exhibiting it. Identification also frees me from chain-of-pain perpetuated by the prison of self-deception. Because I am able to IDentify a characteristic, I recognize it from memories of my past experiences. If I am willing to accept that I have been just as immature and forgive myself for the imperfection, I open the floodgates of compassion and forgiveness toward the person Compassiontempting me to scorn. Miraculously, I feel love for this person who has not yet found this path to inner peace. An overwhelming sense of gratitude follows as a result of realizing that forgiving myself is the key to freedom and peace of mind. How simple is that?

Okay…simple, but not so easy! It is just so tempting to go for the temporary high of ‘righteous’ indignation. Outrage is denial of my own earlier outrageous behavior. The brief exhilaration of feeling ‘better than’ comes from ignorance to the automatic low that must follow from karmic kickback. Why must I feel shame soon after feeling pride? It is because my disgust implies my innocence as if I have never and/or would never do something like that. However, I would not be agitated by this person if I didn’t feel shame about similar behaviors that I won’t admit to myself. Instead, my reaction would be magnanimous and I get a wonderful feeling about myself that lasts. When I tell myself that my agitation is about disapproval of them and not myself, they need to change – not me. While that may seem convenient, it is also very dis-empowering. I am doomed to repeat what I won’t admit. It sets me up for another opportunity to behave shamefully and then another to opportunity to temporarily feel better about myself by shaming someone else, and so on, and so on, and….

Admitting is the act of letting in. I can’t release what I haven’t let in! Conversely, the minute I admit a flaw, I can accept it, forgive myself and move on without carrying it around, walled off buried deep in my psyche like an abscess that causes me to react any time someone touches it. That which I resist will persist. Better to feel the pain of admitting it, so I can let it go. This is like feeling the momentary pain when piercing an abscess so I can feel the relief thereafter instead of guarding and defending it forever. If I could recognize my aggressor’s self-sabotaging animosity as something I have been able to conquer, my response will be gracious. This is far more likely to benefit me and anyone involved or even observing the exchange. Any time I have been able to behave with grace or dignity, it has put an extra spring in my step – not from pride, but from LOVE.

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SELF-DELUSION

My niece is an amazing softball player.  She was just in Florida with her team in some series that attracts a significant amount NCAA scouts. Apparently, the competition was fierce. A key player on her team was ejected very early in the series.  Their star pitcher was taunted by an aggressive player on their opponent’s team.  She let emotion get the best of her and retaliated with no regard to consequences.  Her thinly veiled rage was detected, which is why she was charged with intentionally hitting a batter.  This is grounds for dismissal. After this huge misstep, the  team fell apart and they lost in a blow-out.

My son tells me that in soccer, savvy players will scout out the weakest link and make every attempt to break them down emotionally so they will react like a pressure valve and call a foul on themselves. I like that he knows this, which has taught him to understand the impact of giving one’s power away.  He has learned to see right through taunting and use it to his advantage channeling that energy and adrenaline to enhance his own performance.  Unfortunately, my niece’s teammate did not understand that she was falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book.  She stooped even lower than her antagonist.  She hurt her chances with the scouts behaving like a loose cannon in a high stakes environment.  She also hurt her team by depriving them of an important aspect of their strategy – her.

Coincidently, I am friends with the pitcher’s parents.  I promise you, they blamed her dismissal on biased refereeing.  They denied that the hit was intentional and decried the refs for not intervening to punish the taunting that led up to it.  This is a girl who has won prestige for her community service and  respect for activism at church.  The parents are anti-bad behavior!  It was very clear to me that their love of righteousness only worked one way…. for them.  When someone else acts out – they are sinning.  When one of theirs acts out, it is because they have been pushed to it by victimization.  Then I pointed out their self-deluded sweet-spot to my sister in some good old-fashioned gossipy back-stabbing.  This is when my alarms starting blaring!The-Two-Way-Mirror-of-Character-in-Relationships

Here I was, the teacher of the mirror philosophy, pointing out a hypocrite as if the very act of doing so wasn’t utterly hypocritical!  I had to stop to accept and  forgive my self-delusion so I wouldn’t be swallowed by my shame and begin trying to rationalize or justify my behavior.  Rather, I admitted it to my sister and explained all the various ways I have done what she did and how easy it is to fall into her parents’ trap… as I had so clearly just demonstrated.  My God, this stuff is insidious   Everything I spot – there I am!!  This is why I affirm quite often that I intend to see and assume the best in all encounters and situations.  As I always say, I am  a work in progress that looks like two steps forward and one step back, two steps forward…..

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He assumed the worst

Assuming the best in the face of evidence to the contrary takes practice.  The other day I drove my son and his friends back from the team lunch to their second game of a  soccer tournament at Columbia University in NYC. There was a line to get back on campus because there were no parking spaces left.  We figured that would happen, which is why we all carpooled to lunch and back. The boys needed to collect their gear from various locations where their parents had parked on the campus and get to their next game.  I charmed the guard into letting me drive on campus to do just that, promising I would return and park on the street immediately after I dropped them off.  In the meantime, some father came up to my window all out of breath as I dropped them off. He began to berate me for hijacking a parking spot from people who had waited patiently on a line. He had clearly assumed the worst.  I looked at him from inside my car.  He looked like he was going to have a heart attack – either from chasing me around the campus in sub-zero weather or unnecessary, self-induced high blood pressure from self-righteous anger.  It all seemed so unnecessary. I asked him why he thought I was planning to park.  assuming the worstHe responded, “Well, I just assumed.”  He did what most of us would do.  He assumed the worst.  When he learned that I had no intention of parking, shame prevented him from apologizing.  He just walked away in a huff.

I’m never happy about being in one of these exchanges because I know that nothing exists without a cause.  Before I got on my high horse and ride around town feeling better than him, I had to stop to figure out when I had jumped all over someone this way either in thought or in speaking .  He was a mirror.  Knowing that I didn’t want to go too many rounds on this vicious circle, I decided to assume the best giving him the benefit of the doubt. I sent him a silent blessing and moved on.  I am grateful for the opportunity to see how our perspective skews our vision.  I intend to catch myself before I do this to people knowing that like everything else in life, this process of self-improvement will unfold for me with two steps forward and on backward, then two steps forward and…

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Mental Gym

Suggested Workout

Assume the Best

  • Begin by taking a brief snapshot of your life at the moment.  
  • For the next 7  days assume the best in everything and everyone.
  • Notice how often you feel a temptation to assume the worst.
  • Keep track of each time you intentionally changed your attitude.
  • At the end of seven days, pause and review your week. Has anything shifted?
  • Re-up for another 7 days.

When practiced in earnest, you will notice that your outlook changes when you change your outlook.  

If you can’t imagine a favorable interpretation, simply decide that what seems like a  snag is either an opportunity in disguise or a blessing that has protected you from harm.  Remain alert to the opportunity.  Examples of  assuming the best when we might usually assume the worst:

  • Someone cuts you off on the road and you assume they didn’t see you or they had an emergency so you send them a silent blessing instead of a curse.
  • You miss your flight and assume that  there is a good reason for the delay.  Grateful for the ‘found free time,’ you seize the opportunity to catch on reading, journaling, writing, etc.
  • You don’t get the job you were hoping for and assume that something better is right around the corner.
  • You get such a bad cold that you don’t get out of bed all day and assume that your body knows that if it doesn’t slow you down, you could harm yourself.  So you take the day to rest, watch old movies, read magazines and just relax.
  • Your children are misbehaving and you assume that they are releasing tension from the day in a safe environment where they are not rejected or judged.  You are so grateful that you know how they tell you about their stress and can help them through  times when they want to act out instead of feeling our feelings or because we don’t know what to do about our frustration.
  • You were left out of a social event and assume it was an oversight and that you would have been in a compromising position by someone at the event or something wonderful will happen as a result of the oversight.

It is easiest to think about adopting this attitude “just for today.”  Sometimes I break it down even more.  In very challenging times, I have broken it down to hours and even minutes.  I can tell myself (and believe) that at this time I am okay.  I appreciate the fact that this thing that wants to cause me fear has not yet come to pass.  I can take that perception of ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ and turn it around one minute at a time.  My friend, Walter, once told me, “I can swap my sense of impending doom for a sense of impending wellness.”  I love that!

I can choose to swap a sense of impending doom for a sense of impending wellness.  What to I have to lose?    

 

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Hold the Vision

One of my clients has a daughter who serves as a barometer for his well-being.

He came to me for guidance handling the emotional stress of divorce, being a single dad and new fiscal challenges.  He was high on a potent cocktail of resentment and fear.   When we met, he was stuck in a chain of pain that seemed as if it was manifest in his daughter. His relationship with his daughter has made my job very easy!  She was like my Cliff Notes.  Once he described what was ‘wrong’ with her, I knew how to help him arrive at his solution.  Like clockwork, when his daughter acted out, he reacted  impulsively with feelings of anger and even rage.  Then he felt engulfed by remorse for his behavior.  He told me how much he loved his daughter and didn’t want to hurt her, but….. he was just so afraid that she would end up like her mother!  Having heard about some of his former wife’s antics, I certainly understood why he hoped for something different for his daughter.  I also clearly saw why some of his daughter’s behavior would remind him of her mother and trigger his fear.  Luckily, it was easy for him to see that saying things like, “You’re just like your mother!” would not help his daughter to blossom into a woman of substance, especially since she was aware of his disdain for her mother.  But nothing was working.  He could not issue enough consequences or express enough disapproval or launch enough warning flares to get her to change.  Thank goodness.

Because of his failure to effect a change in his daughter after having exhausted every option he could imagine, by the time he came to me, he was teachable.  I explained to him H.O.W. I surmised in less than 3 minutes that he that he will have the relationship of his dreams with his daughter.  From the moment we first spoke, he was Honest, Open and Willing.  If one of those components was missing he would have had to cycle back through his pain-driven chain-reactions until he was ready to  let go.

H.O.W. can you spot a winner? They are Honest, Open and Willing.  Denial is a valuable tool of the human psyche.  It protects us when we could be overwhelmed by circumstances.  However, it will also destroy us if we are not willing to face it when it is no longer serving us.  How will you know if you are stuck in denial?  You will get repeated unpleasant feedback from your environment.  This is our inner guidance system at work letting us know it is time for another growth spurt.  Getting honest with ourselves and others allows us to change for the better…evolve.  However, honesty alone is not enough.  Openness to new ways of thinking and acting is a need for intentional change.  I like the expression, “My best thinking got me here.”   Until you are open to see that your way of processing events is no longer working for you, you will keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.  Lastly, winners are willing to change.  They don’t feel like a failure when their way didn’t work.  They are excited to find and try a different way of thinking or acting that will give them what they want.  You will know they are willing by their actions.  There is no other way to show willingness.  Period.

Coming to me, who another one of my clients calls her tormentor,  as you process another of life’s growth opportunities, is almost a guarantee that you know H.O.W. it works!  I say that in humility and with a big smile on my face because I know that just showing up to hear me say, “You are the problem'” is an act of willingness!   Someone once told me that he hated me for more than a year because I wrote on a 3×5 card “I AM THE PROBLEM,” and told him to tape it to his mirror.  But, he never forgot it.  And, he knew that my motives were pure and helpful.  So, gradually he became open to try to understand what I meant.  That is when he realized that if he is the problem, then he is also the solution!.  Oprah calls that an “Aha moment.”  In the case of my client with the daughter issues, when he understood his role in real-izing her ‘flaws,’  his behavior changed immediately.   I showed him how to define the exact nature of his objections.  Once he identified the problem in her, I directed him within asking, “How is this a mirror of you?”  He began to notice that if he didn’t  do what was necessary to take care of himself with loving compassion, his daughter would show risky behavior.  If he was too hard on himself, she may have a cutting relapse.  If he was being judgmental or resentful, she would judge him, resent his ‘flaws,’ and ignore him for weeks.

Realizing that she is a reflection of his spiritual fitness, he  began to change his behavior with her and made great changes with his internal dialogue. Of course he had his moments of  ‘two-steps forward and one step backward,’ but that is life.  No one ever gets through life without what they perceive as a misstep.  When we are honest about the events that came before a little slip backwards, we prevent a mindless slide back into that powerless chain of pain.  Honesty allows us to correct course. Every so-called step backwards can serve as the catalyst to move us even further forward…. if we don’t stare at it and blow it out of proportion.

Meditation is a microcosm of life – as well access to pure awareness of the Source of life.  In a meditative retreat our awareness of the stimulus of life slips  to the silence of pure Source awareness.  We come out of  silent Source awareness feeling refreshed and ready for anything.  The brief retreats in life that we call setbacks, give us the fuel or motivation for forward motion.  The ancients liken it to an archer pulling back on his bow with the arrow.  That retreat gives the arrow all the dynamism for its flight.  Lamenting losses , missteps, etc. is like trying to shoot an arrow without the tension of backwards motion.

Demonstrating great skill with one of my favorite tools, the mirror of life and relationship, my client began to see major changes in his relationship with his daughter.  In time, he actually saw major changes in her.  He began to notice that the connection between his attitude and his experiences ran deep indeed.  When he assumed responsibility and gained response-ability for his experiences, he stopped all blame. When  his daughter dented their expensive car, he conveyed his relief and gratitude that his priceless daughter wasn’t damaged.  In the past she may not have been hurt in the car accident but the invisible damage her father would have caused by overreacting would have affected her indefinitely.  Instead, he gave her a huge hug and helped her come up with a plan to pay for the damages  – resisting his impulse to take care of everything himself.  He gave her the ability to assume responsibility for the events of her life!  The pain in her pocketbook was a small price to pay for the empowerment she received by her father’s respect. His compassionate, tempered response felt like trust to his daughter, which is quite different from approval for doing  the ‘right’ way  or being ‘good enough.’

That wasn’t the last time she did something that would have made his head spin in the past.  In fact, a few events followed that I am not sure I would have been able to handle without a lot of  fear and some regrettable behavior.  But, he held the vision. He used Joel Osteen’s trick:  When someone we love misbehaves, instead of  highlighting or inflaming the situation by rehashing and shaming, simply accept what happened and then silently say, “Subject to change!”  Then quickly get back to your vision of this person at their best.  Refuse to dwell anywhere else.  This loving dad did just that in the face of some very trying situations. I remember being in awe of his growth and humbled by his devotion.   Before I could catch my breath he began regaling me with the most joyous stories of her transformation.  Because of his unconditional love and acceptance, she began to feel worthy.  She started to take better care of herself.  She acted with poise and dignity.  She was beginning to impress and humble him as he had done with me.  I have the greatest job I can imagine!

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Changing How You Look at Things Changes What You’re Looking At

I want to show you how you can end stress associated with control issues.  Actually, that’s redundant!  Isn’t all stress caused by feeling powerless to guarantee a desired result?

One of the most important principles underlying everything I say and do and teach is: Life is Lived From the Inside→Out.  There are many potent principles associated with this Truth.  One of the more challenging and equally rewarding to use is: Thoughts Are More Powerful Than Words or Things.  This principle is challenging because it rarely produces instant gratification and we can’t prove cause and effect at this level.  And yet, if you pay attention, you will know that all the events of your life, began at  the invisible level of thought.  Awareness is key.  If you are not paying attention you will miss it and dismiss the most effective way to create the life of your dreams.    When we understand that our inner world creates our outer world, we know that trying to control people, places or things to get what we want is an option on par with rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The formula is simple:

  • Become aware of stress.
  • Change your perspective by looking at the scenario from the perspective of the other person, the institution or an impartial observer.
  • Reinterpret the situation.  Spend as much time as it takes to imagine a way to  interpret the event(s) that benefits you.
  • Adjust your attitude by acting as if this interpretation is the correct interpretation.  
  • Use this perception every time the topic comes up.
  • If new information is presented about this topic that negates this, simply repeat the steps.

Many years ago, one of  my best friends betrayed me.  I was divorcing my husband at the time.  I felt like I had been abandoned, unappreciated, unloved and alone when I couldn’t save my marriage.  I was so afraid, depleted and depressed.  This was one of the darkest periods in my life.  To make matters worse, I discovered that friends and relatives don’t like when you upset the apple cart.  At least, back then in my little world, divorce came with stigma attached.  My friends weren’t happy that I became a single  mom and my relatives were not too thrilled with the idea of a ‘failure’ in the genealogy.

One of my go-to ‘peeps’ was so disturbed by my decision, that she set out to destroy my reputation.  My situation at the time was rife with highly effective circumstantial evidence that could be used to ‘frame’ me.  I was the unwitting starlet of my soap opera.  I faced accusation and rejection from people I loved at a time when I needed them most.  Luckily, I already had a bit of an awakening having read Deepak Chopra’s book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and James Allen’s classic, As a Man Thinketh.

We reap what we sow in thought word and deed.  This is inescapable.

This  meant that I was enduring that particular undesirable ‘harvest’ because of seeds I must have sown in the past.  If I wanted a different harvest, I would have to plant new seeds.  I would have to change something.  In this case, I first had to figure out what seeds I had planted – because I had no idea what I did to get those results.  It seemed so obvious to me that she was the problem and I was the victim!  How could I ever find a way to take responsibility for this cruelty?  Then it occurred to me.  My life had a very strong theme running through it.  From the day my father died when I was a young girl, I developed an increasingly powerful victim lens  through which I perceived seemingly unprovoked unwanted circumstances.

I needed to reframe my perception or I would keep real-izing these types of scenarios.  I remember feeling so grateful that I had figured out why I often found myself saying, “Why me?”  The warm and cozy blanket of denial known as self-pity is particularly challenging to remove.  It feels so good to blame others because it gives a brief ego-driven high of  righteousness and… quite conveniently, if you are at fault, I don’t have to change.   You do!  Unfortunately,  blaming others also means my happiness is dependent upon other people or scenarios beyond my control.  Why would I choose this feeble strategy?  Fortunately, by assuming responsibility for all the circumstances of my life, I give myself response-ability.  I can respond to an affront, insult, set-back, etc. in a way that will diffuse any negative energy associated with me and begin to build a new momentum in the direction of my choosing.

Awareness of my thoughts, feelings & emotions and the  consequences of owning or validating them, gives me the power to choose the next chapter of my life.  Conversely, if I am not paying attention to the activity between my ears(positive or negative),  I give up my freedom to choose whether what comes next is beneficial or harmful  to me.

In the case of my  friend, every time a realized I was obsessing, or got a strong feeling of self-pity or resentment, I stopped what I was doing so I could address the situation, because I knew it would be a runaway train in no time. I used to take a moment or longer to bless her and forgive her.  Pausing for a minute helped me to remember that what she thought she was doing to me, she was actually doing to herself.  She could only harm me if I ‘ate the poison’ by reacting to it, thereby tacitly agreeing with the charges. In pausing, I could also reflect on  the  thoughts that came before the gripping sensation associated with my earlier negativity. Once I identified what tapes were playing in my mind, I would replace them with new ones that made me feel better, stronger, wiser, happier, positive, etc.  I could access compassion  for her because I knew that what we ‘send out’ comes back multiplied. I knew that she had no idea of the havoc that her behavior would wreak on her life later… or she wouldn’t do it!  Meanwhile,I knew I  was fortunate because I could choose to return unkindness with love knowing that I will be so happy when  that love comes back to me exponentially.

I was vigilant about harboring no ill will.  However, I did not seek her friendship either.  That would have been an act of cruelty toward myself that would also bring an undesired harvest.  In less than a year, it was time for her to reap the harvest of the seeds she planted with me.  Misfortune she never could have imagined caused her much shame and threatened her good name and reputation.  She found herself in a very compromised situation suddenly overwhelmed by new responsibilities thrust upon her.  Without batting an eyelash, I assumed as much of her load as I was suited to handle.  Her young daughter spent the better part of a year with me going home at night just to sleep.  I did whatever else I could do. The past never occurred to me.  This is why thoughts are more powerful than words or deeds.  My response to her suffering that resulted in a beautiful win-win for all parties, was only possible with a pure heart.  If I had continued to have a grudge, I could have felt vindicated.  I may have enjoyed some twisted sense of satisfaction that ‘she got what was coming to her.’ I promise you, this would have caused subconscious self-loathing and an unintended negative spiral that I would not believe I deserved!

Instead,after a couple of years, my decision to force myself to feel compassion instead of resentment (even when I didn’t mean it at first) reaped a harvest that continues to feed my soul today.  I have in her, a most loyal friend.  We have trustworthy friendship based on respect, personal responsibility and generosity of spirit.  Perhaps even more importantly, I gained so much self-respect by honoring the Golden Rule.  Gold it is!

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Thoughts Become Reality

The mind has two jobs.attract health and peace of mind
Its 1st function is to translate energy and information, thereby giving us an experience of life that we call ‘reality.’ However, if you have ever gone mindless, or into the zone, on a road-trip or other engulfing activity, then you know it is possible to function fully without experiencing any of the stimulus that surrounds you. This demonstrates that reality is more than the energy & information we can identify…with our mind, which is not only part of the identifiable world, it is actually creating it within the confines of its nervous system. The damage caused by the misconception that ‘seeing is believing’ makes this point worth repeating:
Reality cannot be limited to that, which can be 
identified and measured.
We know that anything that is identifiable or measurable is some form of energy and information vibrating on & off at the speed of light.  We experience on (the stimulus or the known) because of the off(silence). It  must follow that reality  consists of both the on and the off.  When our awareness slips out of  the silent ‘ zone,’ it begins processing some of the data in its environment again and we feel deceptively safe back in the known once again.  Most people misinterpret what happens when we slip into that pure Awareness, which is a silent and motionless ever-present aspect of reality – unknown by minds addicted to the stimulus of mental activity. They become fearful that they could have had an accident.The mind feels safe in the known, even if it is unpleasant, because it believes it knows how to handle what is familiar. Attempting to regain control, people work harder to focus on the stimulus ‘coming at’ them.
This misinterpretation prevents a magnificent discovery!
  • The stimulus aspect of our being is temporary; the silence we can get access to is an eternal aspect of our being.head.mind projector
  • We can slip in and out of eternity with our awareness.
  • We function without thinking or any awareness at all.  Our brain is just allowing us to experience life.
  • Reality is movement of Awareness between dense stimulus (physical), subtle stimulus (thoughts, emotions) and no stimulus (silence, soul, spirit, Source)
  • Nothing originates in or from our mind and body.It is all being projected out from the silence underlying all experience.
  • We can change the stimulus we wish to experience by shifting our awareness far more efficiently (seemingly miraculously) than trying to physically or mentally change what has already been projected.

Ironically, the mind’s second function, protecting us, becomes a hazard blinding us to True security, the infinite Source of Power and potential.

When babies are born, we must train them to shift their awareness away from the silence and begin processing the stimulus. After years of relentless directions to pay attention, focus, and listen, we become conditioned and eventually addicted to stimulus. As if we are  under hypnosis, we become programmable and don’t even challenge our assumptions. We forget the silence that was once our home. We can’t see, hear or feel that it is always right here with us. We are left with a hole that never seems fulfilled. Something is missing, but we don’t know where to find it. It can feel like homesickness.

It is soul-sickness.

 

We will lack peace of mind and feel incomplete as long as we remain unaware of our imprisonment in the stimulus believing that it (either the problem or the solution) is coming from “out there” and separate from us. Conversely, the stress or dis-ease of overstimulus, and the failure of ‘the world’ to quell our angst can cause us to question our thinking and surrender in humility. The release literally re-opens the path to the silent Awareness we knew as babies.  Letting go of the known creates access to that ‘peace that passes understanding’ with the rational mind because this silent, eternal Source of temporary temporal reality can only be known through direct experience. Most people believe they must die to get access to it because they can’t stop thinking long enough to move their awareness beyond the known… except by chance, as when we drive long enough to unintentionally slip into the zone, which is at once misunderstood and feared.   

The relief of letting go is realization of the soul. 
Occasionally, a peak experience of shock or awe will cause us to reconnect with the memory of wholeness.  This is either described as Nirvana or a ‘out of body experience. In our hypnosis, we have become so divorced from ourselves that we don’t understand what happened and have no idea how to find our way back to it. Like babies  needing  indoctrination into the world of form and phenomenon, we need guidance finding our way back to real-ization of that Silence in our daily lives. When we do, we are no longer delusional as we wander around what we thought was reality:  the two-dimensional world of our making. We awaken from that dream (nightmare?) to the 3-dimensional (mind/body/soul) Truth that eluded us.   
This is heaven on earth.   
After this awakening and learning how to continue accessing that Peace through direct experience of all three aspects of our being (mind/body/spirit), we personally Know ‘the end of the world’ experientially. Nothing happens to us. Nothing has any power or control over us.  All of our experiences are projections from our Soul (Source). The fear or pain we feel is acknowledgement that our Soul cannot get through to our mind or body.  It is your soul’s urging to let go of your fixation “out there.”  If we would pause and connect with this non-rational communication, our life would become miraculous!

TUNING IN

Science has already advanced to the point of rendering belief in matter to pure superstition. And we are each already experiencing many ‘miracles’ of this discovery, like the internet. The end of the Mayan calendar is the beginning of synthesizing the implications of the end of Materialism into our daily lives – how we perceive things and the choices we make. It is movement toward a tipping point in the Collective Conscious’ understanding that we are like satellite dishes.  We are tuning into our experiences and at any time we can direct the dish to ward a different location to choose a different channel and project a more enjoyable show or “reality’. 
We can choose to  our experience of the end of the material world as rapture or rupture. 
(paraphrased)
The only change that is taking place is in our awareness. It is such a subtle change, and yet its Power is beyond our comprehension. The old sources of power built on faith in materialism, limitation and separation will continue to crash around us. The energetic shift that is underway reduces the buffer of time between start and fruition of an idea. For a mind that is steeped in the intellect, the illusion of separation, belief in limited resources, and a perception of a reality ‘out there,’ these could be trying times.  The old sources of power built on faith in materialism and separation will continue to crash around us. The need to protect, deceive, control, overdo, or stress will become a self-fulling prophecy faster now.  It will seem like our thoughts are known.  Actually, they always were! We can’t fool Mother Nature. We were only fooling ourselves. Because of the buffer of time, we could not identify the cause in most of our experiences; so when someone cut us off on the highway, we felt victimized…forgetting the snipe we gave earlier that day (rude to a spouse, family member, co-worker,etc.).
More and more we will experience instant karma or instant gratification – and we will be ‘known by our fruits.’  
The love, altruism and appreciation in our hearts will be more obvious than ever. Jealousy, self-centered fear, negativity and resentment will produce like effect quickly. For a mind that is able to go with the flow, let go of the known and perceive opportunity in every apparent obstacle, this times will be increasingly effortless and joyful.
Self mastery is more important now than ever!
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POST MAYAN CALENDAR MISINTERPRETATION MESS

THE END OF THE WORLD

THE END OF THE WORLD

The end of the world is an oxymoron.  How can something end, if it never began?  What has  been ending is our belief  in matter.  In Sanskrit the term “Maya” means illusion. The end of the Mayan calendar is the end of the illusion of the world − the end of the illusion of time and space. We already know and have known for thousands of years that matter does not exist. What we believe is solid is actually energy and information vibrating at the speed of light. Our nervous system cannot process data at this speed; so it gives us an illusory experience much like the way films make a series of still frames seem like fluid movement. We have also known that there is no such thing as time. All we have is the present; everything else exists in our imagination only.

What we experience as the world is an illusion, a trick of the senses.

In our lifetime the prevailing languages of this phenomenon are science and technology. The knowledge underlying both paradigms also underlies the languages of art, religion, philosophy and love. It also underlies language itself, which is why I am so fascinated by etymology. The scientific and technological paradigms are so exciting and beneficial to our human experience…provided we don’t allow them to enable the ‘lie’ and become dependent on them. We must understand the implications of the fundamental knowledge underlying every paradigm – especially now after the end of the Mayan Calendar.

What comes after the end?

After the end is the realization of eternity. The end of the Mayan calendar is the beginning of awareness of oneself as an eternal present moment experiencer. We stop identifying ourselves with our experiences and the objects of our perception. We begin to understand matter as movement of energy and information on the screen of our imagination. This is like snapping out of terror, anxiety or deep sadness as we watch a movie and remember that this is only a projection; we regain peace of mind because we know we have a choice.  We can leave the theater, change the film, or ride it out to see what happens.  We remember that we are there for our enjoyment. In our personal lives we begin to relax in the knowledge that what we call “reality” is a projection of our consciousness as a result of our focusing with such intensity that its density now appears to us if it is in formation.

We must stay present to avoid being tricked into the belief that what is “out there” is happening to us or has any power over us. When we are present, we see ourselves focusing everything into existence. When we are present, we know if we are choosing a constructive or destructive focus. When we are present, we know we can arbitrarily choose a different perspective or interpretation that feels better, more loving, empowered, and aligned with us. We can choose to respond to an insult with compassion instead of reacting with more toxicity. That tiny shift chosen from the position of present moment power – free from the powerless enslavement of past conditioning – empowers us to create a different experience that will have a strong foundation. Therefore, when we are present, the outcome is not in doubt. Ultimately then, when we are in the present, we are not afraid; we lose interest in controlling outcomes or people. We also know that no person, place, circumstance or thing has any control over us.

For people who have learned to let go of any false power (titles, positions, degrees, wealth) and joyously step into true Power, this will be a miraculous transition. We don’t give up the titles, or the positions, degrees or wealth. We just give up the illusion of their power to give us what we want. Rather, we have all of those things as a result our demonstration of true Power, which affords us authentic, joyful focus in the present moment…eternally. For those who cannot or will not apply this to their daily living, this could be a bumpy ride.

Henry Reed describes the different approaches as a choice to experience the shift as rapture or rupture. I love that.

Science and technology gave us the Internet as a result of this knowledge that everything is energy and information coming from one source that is accessible from any and every pinpoint of space and time. The invisible interconnected web of existence that had been inaccessible to the majority of humanity arose in physical form via a computer that mimicked it. We simply focus the computer according to what we want to experience and… voila! It is crucial to understand that this knowledge of the Truth of Oneness is what gave birth to the idea of the Internet. At this time when the illusion of form and separation are breaking down, we need a clear understanding of our own ability to tap into and create from this same source. We also have instant access to this seemingly miraculous, instantaneous information and power. Unlike a computer, we can originate. We can choose what we will experience with and without a computer. The miracle of this awakening is the understanding that if we shift our focus, we shift our experience. We can look at the same person, place, thing or experience with a different perspective. This will change the energy and information of what we are experiencing and its nature must change as well, as if we are photoshopping our experiences.

Please understand that in this post Mayan Calendar atmosphere, this seemingly subtle nuance will have cataclysmic impact on your future.  The intangible shift from perceiving reality as something that happens to you to from you, opens the path to joy, freedom and pure rapture as  you navigate what might  seem like rupture or destruction to  those who have depended on  the old paradigm.  If you don’t see the impact of your perceptions, you are not paying close enough attention. Termites do more damage annually than all natural disasters combined. When a butterfly flaps its wings as it flies in an area off the tip of Africa….

Tune in later in the week for some clear examples of how the shift is experienced as rapture or rupture as well as important tools to make choosing rapture effortless…

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NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

BEHAVE

Be —> Have

How you act (be) now is commensurate with the experiences (people, places & things) you will have later.

 

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NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES

all-all-you-need-is-love-love-need-you-Favim.com-251875

Important to remember that railing against what you don’t want attracts more of what you don’t want.

Digging up old memories of similar situations is why history repeats itself.

 

BE THE CHANGE. NOW.

♥

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GOD REST THEIR SOULS

blessings36

Dear Lord, Help us to understand our bullies need LOVE and direction NOT disapproval & rejection!

 

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WORKPLACE WELLNESS

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NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

RE-MEMBER 

re+member = re-join, re-connect (i.e. sign-up)

“Always remember.”  Really?  Why?

Be certain you want to keep revisiting a memory – the energy the memory evokes is an electromagnetic attractor field.  If you cannot visit a memory without becoming sad, bitter or anxious…why would you want to attract more of it?

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TRUE POWER

Power is magnetism.  It is obtained by empowering others. Trusting, inspiring, respecting, challenging, delegating, appreciating, informing, listening, etc. elevates the recipient, who naturally reciprocates.  The exponential effect on the individual with this wisdom is obvious.  They are loved and respected. They don’t need to watch their back. They are mostly lighthearted, energetic and healthy.

Controlling, manipulative people have agency power.  As soon as their title or leverage is gone, their ability to influence is gone. They suck the energy out of everyone they impact. Instead of adroitly using Power, they think they are the power.  This type of exertion/force creates likely candidates for heart disease, anxiety issues, etc.

The brain constricts under duress inhibiting inspiration and creativity.  Pressuring people provides instant cause/effect gratification, but does much more harm than good over time. While the ignorant gain satisfaction from measuring the result of massive effort, the enlightened lament the unrealized potential and out-of-the-box, genius ideas that were suppressed in the process.

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NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

COMMANDING

people have earned personal power and authority to compel others by respecting their power and authority.

DEMANDING

people must use agency power and authority (leverage) because they repel others.

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ATTENTION! Differentiate EOS from IGS

Our Emotional Operating System (EOS) is not the same as our Inner Guidance System (IGS). But, the two systems work so similarly that they are easy to confuse.

  • Emotions get our attention. They offer sensations of constriction or expansion in varying degrees of intensity according to the level of congruence between our attitude and our intention. Someone who laments having no friends may begin to feel lonely. The discomfort of loneliness indicates the futility of their attention to what is going wrong. A shift of attention to the solution and how it will feel elevates their mood and magnetism enabling them to attract what they seek.
  • Our IGS gives us access to deeper Truths beyond our preferences and conditioning. It also uses sensations of expansion and constriction to communicate with us. However, the expansive sensation associated with the peace of Truth has no vibration at all. There is no mistaking the Truth when we you feel it…Ironically what you are feeling is nothing!  However fleeting, it is a calm amid the turbulence of life caused by our attachments.

It is possible to feel the expansion of Truth and the constriction of emotional pain associated with accepting that Truth at the same time. For example, a parent might reach a sense of ‘rightness’ about weaning their child. They may know that the time has come when it is not in their child’s best interest for mom or dad to intervene, provide funds or solve a dilemma. At the same time, the parent may feel sad that the child is growing up and leaving the nest or the parent may feel anxious about trusting the outcome to the child.

To live the life of our dreams, we have two simple (not necessarily easy!) guidelines to follow:

  1. The constriction of emotional pain never trumps the expansion of peace from our Truth.
  2. Likewise, the expansive feeling from emotional pleasure never trumps a subtle constriction that may arise when we pay attention to our IGS warning us to come back into integrity. Too often we detect the fleeting tug and dismiss it in favor of the deliciousness of pleasure.  Later we palm our foreheads wondering, “Why didn’t I listen to myself?!”

The presence of Truth cannot be identified in the midst of mental chatter or emotional turbulence. To maintain our course we need to go below the surface. As needed, we allow ourselves to admit and process our emotions, fully accepting how we feel as a result of our preferences, interpretations and conditioning. Then we can release them. This enables us to get access to the perfection of our Inner Guidance System.

If we pay close attention, it is very easy to recognize Truth. It does not feel good or bad. It is still. It is open. It is expansive. It just is. We may not like it, but it is there plain as day. There is no mistaking it. This “still, small voice” is the only arbiter of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ – and it is unique to each of us. The guidance is telling us what is life affirming or debilitating. It tells us what works and doesn’t work for each one of us on a case-by-case and moment-to-basis. It tells us when our thought, word or deed or that of another is constructive or destructive for us. It is able to recognize the deception hidden in the temporary expansive feeling of emotional highs from escape mechanisms or ‘getting our way.’

Although we associate accessing Truth with stillness, it does not mean we live life in neutral. It means we process our feelings as they happen and let both the highs and lows pass in river of life. We don’t fear the waters that come or chase the waters that pass. We embrace emotions that get stuck so we can do the work to release anything that may cause coagulation and toxicity. The stillness of Truth is one of non-resistance, openness, release and surrender. We know that if the water stays still…we are dead!

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CONTROL ISSUES

Just before Christmas when I was 7 years old my dad died and I experienced a life altering paradigm shift.  It was as if the curtains closed at the end of an act on the stage of my life and when they reopened, the scenery had completely changed leaving me feeling unsafe and bewildered.  As a result, I can rationalize, deny and forget anything.  It is a mechanism I employed to make sense my unfathomable reality.  It helped me survive the grief and terror that threatened my sanity for decades and felt life threatening.  I thought I was safe in my head even though I knew on some subconscious level that I didn’t feel safe.  This ‘survival’ mechanism carried me until I was 35 years old when it backfired for the last time.

At the age of 35 I experienced another paradigm shift.  I could no longer escape my reality. I had to embark on that treacherous journey from my head, where I rationalized my experiences, to my heart, where I began realizing them.  When I ‘surrendered’ and began processing my crippling feelings of grief, rage, shame, resentment, etc., something amazing happened.  I learned that the seemingly miraculous solution to any of my ‘problems’ is contained within my deepest fears! When I began to feel the feelings I had resisted, I made some critical discoveries:

  1. That which I resist persists.
  2. My emotions won’t kill me.
  3. Emotions are simply energy in motion.

    EMOTION = Energy in Motion

  4. My emotions they cannot pass if I resist/deny/stuff/block them.
  5. When I feel my feelings, I can release them and drop my ‘baggage.’
  6. Once I process the emotion, I discover that “peace that passes all understanding” rationally.
  7. Established in this peace of mind I am able to and I want to stay in present moment awareness.
  8. The Intelligence and the Power that creates worlds exists only in the present moment.
  9. Connected to that Power – my fears slip away and I gain ‘control’ of my life.
  10. When I feel a constricting emotion it is my sign that I am shutting down, resisting my experience, and cutting myself off from the Power to change that  undesirable experience .
  11. When I accept the experience as it is, I return to the present and the Power it has.  A feeling of expansion results.
  12. The ‘control’ (over my thoughts, words, deeds and experiences) that I craved was in my Awareness all along!
  13. As long as I was looking for that Power and Control over my life ‘out there,’ it would remain illusive.
  14. This EOS  (Emotional Operating System) is my infallible IGS – Internal Guidance System.  If I remain aware and pay attention to it, it will guide me to the life of my dreams and deepest desires.

I can think of many examples in life when I ignored the wisdom of my IGS and paid a steep price.  One obvious example was in my early twenties when I took a job as a mortgage-backed securities bond broker.  I was about to become the only woman on a dog-eat-dog bond-trading floor.  I had many reasons for taking the job despite a nagging ‘sinking’ feeling.  I was unable to show up for my first week on the job because I had colitis, which in retrospect was my IGS on overdrive, desperately trying to get my attention.  I had stuffed every emotion that surfaced before and after taking the job because I was in survival mode.  I felt that I had to stuff the grief associated with selling my soul to survive because I believed I had to take that job.  The disease I developed as a result of my dis-ease with my decision forced me stop physically.  But since I refused to stop mentally long enough to just be in the present moment, I delayed my discovery of true Power.

I was extremely ‘successful” and convinced myself that I was in control (happy, safe and secure).  I went on compromising my integrity for years saying and doing things that made me so uncomfortable I could hardly stand in my skin…another feeling I worked at denying !  Every year it became more difficult to contain all the trapped energy of my repressed emotions.  Finally at age 35, I reached the tipping point. Choices I made (albeit unconsciously) resulted in a situation that I would typically have denied, but at that particular moment, I could not house another emotion without imploding.  As a result, I accepted reality in the moment and suddenly, in touch with true Power, all my walls collapsed instantly and I stepped into this new miraculous paradigm.

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NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

COGNITION & CHANGE

Because the only constant in ‘reality’ is change, the mindful constantly seek to cognize the new and the presumably unaware constantly seek to recognize the familiar.

 

Embrace the unknown – your lifeline to reality. 

Enjoy the known – as a movie and not your reality.

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NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed           

INSIGHT

is the software for one who knows the observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight‘) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention.

Our constructive or destructive interpretation of what we experience determines what follows for us.    

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ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE AWAKE?

Sleepwalking

When we are not living consciously we run the risk of making choices that we don’t realize are choices – on autopilot.  We become victims of our own conditioning.  Unconscious living makes us susceptible to making choices for the wrong reasons – without checking our motives.  Exhaustive research reveals that about 96% of humanity does not even realize that this is an issue, which is to say that 96% of humanity is sleepwalking.  Fewer realize that present moment conscious awareness is the single most important factor of success in life – whatever success means to each of us.  Our lives are enjoyable and rewarding to extent that we are present in it.  Being present means being aware in the moment as our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, and/or events unfold throughout our day enabling us to check-in with ourselves:

• We might ask ourselves, “Is this train of thought life-affirming, loving, in-line with my goals, worthy of me and suitable for me to share without shame?”

• We can pay attention to our IGS (my Internal Guidance System) noticing feelings of constriction or expansion within? 

• Am I acting according to what I have said and what I think?

• Is this really my thought or am I being a parrot?  

• Is this thought true?  Is it valid?  Is this a belief?  

• Do this person’s action match up with their words?  

• Does this thought or action help me or hinder my progress?  

• Why I am thinking, saying or doing this?

• Am I paying attention?  

• Am I hearing what I want to hear instead of what is really being said?  

• What was I thinking before I did this?

• Should I acknowledge what I just saw, heard, said, and/or did?

These are just a few examples of the type of insight available to one who is practicing present moment awareness.  Insight is awareness of and attention to one’s inner vision.  Insight grants us every advantage to create the life of our dreams.  Life is not happening to us.  It is happening from us.  Life is lived from the inside → out.  The observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight’) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention  – interpretation of what we are experiencing.  

When we intentionally choose our attitude each moment, and when we decide where to direct our attention & energy each moment, we choose the experiences that ensue.  People, who do not know this, keep observing and reacting to circumstances (aka: the result) with little or no sense of our responsibility for them. Unable to improve their circumstances permanently at the level of cause, they spin out in a continuous feedback loop. 

One of my clients described a scenario that illustrates this quite well.  She told me that her husband is making her crazy.  She can no longer sit with him at their son’s basketball games.  He is aggressive at best and often downright abusive.  He directs his negativity toward their son, his coach, the referees, the other players on his team, the other team, the other parents, and so on.  The tension comes home with them and has often led to family drama that continues for days.  The father is mad at the son for ‘underperforming;’ the son is mad at the father for the abuse; the wife is mad at the husband for once again disrupting the family; the husband is mad at the wife for not supporting him, etc.  

In this scenario the father keeps focusing on what the son did wrong.  The son keeps focusing on his father’s anger.  The wife keeps focusing on the pain this causing everyone.  She told me, “Yesterday, I screamed at him asking him how he could be so stupid.  Did it ever occur to him that he has done this for 13 years and it has not improved the situation one bit?  The same thing keeps happening over and over!”  I asked her if she has chastised him for as long.  She flushed.  I got my answer.  

If we keep looking at the result of negative thinking we will keep seeing things we do not like: If she could begin to change her inner dialogue to predispose her to the solution, little by little things would evolve more favorably.  If she could inspire her husband to change his perception and inner dialogue, things would have to change for the better very quickly.  The burden of stress their son carries would evaporate and his performance would be affected measurably.   All the evidence we need about stress blocking us from the zone is demonstrated for all  to see by Tiger Woods.   More importantly, the long-rage impact of support and encouragement instead of disapproval and disappointment is obvious.  

The cost of sleepwalking is devastating and the benefits of remaining alert in the present moment are so magnificent that everyone’s main goal should be learning to stay present and think constructively.

 

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NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

SHORT TERM GAIN = LONG TERM PAIN

Controlling people use force, manipulation or intimidation to ‘succeed.’

Leaders use personal Power, magnetism or inspiration to succeed.

Can you guess which one gets what they are seeking?

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MEDITATION INSTRUCTION

Transcend to Silence ~ Meditation Seminar 4 Consecutive Tues & Thurs: From noon-1:00 p.m.  October 16, 18, 23, 25 & 30 November 1,6 & 8  *plus 4 private consultations with Laura Nash

Included in Your Seminar:

  • Weekly Instruction Tuesdays ~ Lecture format ~ Interactive.
  • Group Q&A every Thursday following the Tuesday class
  • Weekly 30-minute private consults with Laura
  • 10 hours total with Laura live
  • Access to bonus video featuring Deepak Chopra, MD
  • Access to conference audio recording
  • Access to workshop video recording
  • Course material and mantra ($60 extra for personal mantra)

meditation

Stress is the root of all dysfunction in our lives, physically, emotionally or socially. Proper meditation is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress, along with a sense of purpose and meaningful relationships (with ourselves as well as others). With Laura’s guidance, you will learn to effortlessly meditate your way to:

• gain mastery over your inner dialogue

• acquire peace of mind

• sharpen your focus and mental clarity

• improve relationships on all levels (intimate, familial, social and business)

• maintain balance and calm through adversity

• choose your circumstances instead of reacting to them

• experience a profound sense of satisfaction and fulfillment day to day

• live a life of meaning and purpose 

 

course description

introduction to the basic principle

Two1- hour group sessions in which, you will learn the basic principles of this transcendent form of meditation. You will also learn about the origins, efficacy and use of mantras.  You will begin to understand the magnitude of your decision to incorporate this revered time-honored, ancient ‘secret’ in your life.  You will receive your mantra and will be instructed in how to use it. After the first session, you will be ready to begin your practice of meditation.  Throughout the balance of this course you will benefit from numerous live ineractions to clarify any questions or perceived difficulties that arise.

perfecting the practice

During this 1-hour session, you will review the practical aspects of meditation, including fundamentals such as where and when to meditate.  You will be given suggestions that are designed to make the process of settling the mind more efficient.

fruits of your commitment

This final session highlights the type of results you can expect from your consistant meditation practice, While stress relief is indeed one of the byproducts of your ongoing commitment to meditation, there are myriad benefits that evolve over time.

a vision of higher states of consciousness

This seminar includes a specially prepared video featuring Deepak Chopra. He provides a glimpse of future possibilities of growth on all levels. There will be a time for Q&A after the video and further discussion will be available during scheduled group Q&A sessions.

group Q&A

Every week we will meet for one hour to discuss our experiences to date. There is significant benefit to be gained from hearing the experiences, questions and perspectives of the other participants.  This is also an opportunity to follow-up on any questions that were not fully adressed during the lectures due to time constraints.

private consultations

You will have the opportunity to meet with Laura for a thirty-minute private consultation four times throughout the course.  This is an excellent time to discuss personal issues that you prefer not to share with the group.  After registering for the class, you will be sent a schedule to make your appointment. If you have extenuating circumstances every effort will be made to accomodate your schedule.

It is important that you attend all sessions. If that is not possible, you will have the recordings available for you gto view as soon as possible so that you may keep current with the group.  The recordings will be available for review for the duration of the course….by understanding the basic principles of meditation now you will have years of happiness and success in the future!

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AWFUL-IZING

The other day I received a phone call that gave me pause.  Someone I know quite well was pleading with me to vote for the presidential candidate of their choosing.  They had seen videos and heard expert testimony about the perils that will befall our country if the other guy wins the election.  I have seen this sort of projection on myriad topics, many of which fall within the purview of a candidate’s platform. Topics ranging from healthcare, to global economics, to environmental policies, education and morality are a wellspring of catastrophic predictions on either end of the spectrum.  I gave my usual response:

  • The act of noticing the relationship between cause and effect is realization.
  • Paying attention to any aspect  of cause and effect (potential or actual) with strong emotion and/or absolute certainty (belief) is the process of real-ization.  WE make it real or perpetuate it.  Our attention transforms potential to actual/real.  Knock and the door will open.  Seek and ye shall find. 
  • This is the fulfillment of The Law of Attraction.  What we call ‘reality’ is actually bundles of like energy & information vibrating at the speed of light held together by a force we call electromagnetism. 
  • We attract our experiences. Like attracts like. The outcome is determined by the observer’s expectation.. That is why science uses double-blind studies and placebos. It is also why they cannot get a certain predictable outcome…ever.
  • Paying attention to what is not wanted is equal to asking for it. 
  • We are not here to fix.  We are here to CREATE. 
  • Let it be.  Accept.  Contribute with a positive, loving vision with unwavering faith in the goodness of all.  It is possible to be of service and value in EVERY situation without having to denigrate what is or who is doing what! You will like what you see.  I promise.

These Truths are undeniable and inescapable.  They agree with every religion, philosophy, science, tradition, experience, etc.  They need as much belief as electricity.  Having awakened to this reality, I marvel at how I can ever fall back to sleep!  Having once been blind, why do I ever choose not to see again for a time?  It begins when I puff with the pride of ‘righteous’ thinking.  It is my old nemesis, that ignorant perception, which urges me to judge captiously making me think I know better or am better than another.  It is always followed by a faint twinge, a constriction, or uneasiness. 

 

Thankfully I know now that my discomfort is my IGS (Inner Guidance System) alerting me to the fact that I am real-izing what I do not want.  I need to stop fault-finding and recognize that my thinking is wrong.  I am at once profoundly appreciative of the fact that I can never be permanently lost again.  I know the way out of my messes now.  Fortunately, I no longer stay in the discord and can re-awaken. Then, if I have taken my ignorance to the point where an apology or amends is necessary, I do so promptly and get back to the business of joyously creating my vision.

 

The person that placed that persuasive phone call to me replied with a very familiar caveat explaining that after years of listening to me sing this refrain, finally embracing these Truths was life-changing; BUT this political situation is scary, urgent, and it is a reality!  That is like saying gravity applies to small items and not large ones.  Many of my clients are ‘successful’ individuals who know these Truths and revere the great masters and agree whole-heartedly with that which is undeniable and yet they defend ‘justifiable resentments,’ embrace a sweatshop mentality with regard to work, believe in competition, compromise themselves and their hearts desire for ‘security,’ and beat themselves up for missteps, etc. 

 

It is important to discern and make choices.  That is why we are alive.  In order to experience the joy of creating, it is necessary to make choices – that make us feel loving, open, inclusive and expansive.  Any sense of physical or emotional constriction is your sign that you are momentarily on a path to destruction.  Let go for a moment.  Release what you are resisting.  You will be creating/contributing again in an instant.  You can create the life of your choosing…adhering to this simple formula. If you make a habit of shifting your perception from positive to negative, denigration to elevation, destruction to creation, etc. and observe the results, you will know that this Truth is self-evident.  

 

I will enter the voting booth in November and make the choice that seems  most in line with my vision of joy and peace at the time – knowing the only thing that really matters is that I elevate all that I behold and nurture a vision of joy and peace and love regardless of who is “in charge!”  How reassuring to know that this is not wishful, Pollyanna thinking…that the science is there to back it up.  The Beatles are absolutely correct.  All you need is love.

 

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NASH FLASH

BELIEF

  If you have no faith and enjoy health, wealth and joyous relationships, it makes sense to continue relying on your own power. 

 If you have no faith and you feel incomplete, why not borrow mine? 

It will work just as well.  Believe that I believe.

Your belief is not needed for use. Your decision is!

If you have faith but feel incomplete, doubt has corrupted your faith.

~Laura B. Nash

 

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RIGHT IS DEAD WRONG

  • Do you know someone who ‘needs’ to be right?
  • Have you ever felt like you won an argument?
  • Have you ever argued for your point of view?
  • Have you ever accepted proof as the arbiter of right and wrong?
  • Have you ever changed your mind?
  • Do you see Albert Einstein in the picture above?
  • Can you prove you saw Albert Einstein?
  • Can you see Marilyn Monroe in the picture above?
  • Can you prove you saw Marilyn Monroe?
  • Can you see Albert Einstein and Marilyn Monroe at the same time?
  • If I see Einstein and you see Marilyn, who is right?
Ironically, being right is a sign of ignorance. 

 

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ASK NASH

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

Really?

Decide.  Intend.  Detach.

 Resignation is not a part of the formula. 

If it seems hopeless, you are micromanaging (trying to control). It is just the particular means you have chosen that is “not meant to be.”

  1. Make a general decision eliminating all other options (de-cide = to-kill).
  2. Intend to focus solely on what is in line with the vision/goal or what it will feel like when it is. Intend that you will know which actions you can take today…effortlessly.
  3. Detach by being open to and enjoying the process – free from preconceived expectations about the who, the how, the where, the when and specifics about the what.

The goal is not in doubt. If it is your will, it is meant to be.  And, it will be – if you let it and don’t force it!

 

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NASH FLASH

 A true leader’s Power

is the result of daily lifting…

 

other people! 

 

Altruistically winning the hearts and minds of people with whom you interact, is exponentially more beneficial to you than control, intimidation and manipulation combined.

 

 

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NASH FLASH

RELATIONSHIPS REFLECT

 

 Everywhere you go, there YOU are!

 

The quality of our relationships with others reflects the quality of our relationship with ourSelves.  If our relationships feel good, it is because we have a strong connection with our Source, our IGS (Internal Guidance System). As always, the reverse it true.  The only change, which can favorably impact any of our relationships, must occur within ourselves.

 

 Watch my blog for a link to my podcast discussing this in depth!

 

 

 

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NASH FLASH

 BELIEVING IS SEEING

 

 Therefore, when we believe that seeing is believing, the notion that history repeats itself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy by default.

Out-of-the box thinkers, visionaries, true leaders and Powerful people don’t look to history to decide our future.

 

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WHO ARE YOU?

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JUST RELEASED – THE ULTIMATE EXPERT Podcast # 4

I believe that under all of your formal education and social conditioning, you have an inner expert that knows what’s best for you. YOU are the ultimate expert, and this is your podcast. It’s free, it’s fun, and this week’s episode is available right now. Click on the image to listen to Episode 4

  Now Playing: Episode 4: Brandon Farrell

– OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION –

20-year-old Brandon Farrell asks about being able to control his emotions. A valuable conversations about living a meaningful life of our choosing ensues.

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ASK NASH

ACTUAL REALITY BROADCASTING FOR THOSE WHO ARE ASKING
How can I get rid of my anxiety? Why am I so anxious? Why can’t I catch a break? Do we make our luck or are some people just born with it?  Will I ever have peace of mind?  Why doesn’t anyone appreciate me? I have tried everything and I just can’t seem to get there…how can I get my life where I want it to be? How can I stop this awful habit? Why can’t I leave her/him? Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I leave my job? Am I really stuck? How can I get rid of my jealousy? Is it good to be suspicious? Why does it seem like everyone is happier than me? Why do bad things happen to good people? I have been TRYING SO HARD to stay positive and I don’t see any difference – what am I doing WRONG?????