IDENTIFICATION

I just re-read my post from Monday about the parking lot incident which illustrates identification, the first step toward ‘freedom from the bondage of self.’ Identification is one of my most valuable self-improvement tools. It allows me to assess the effectiveness of a certain behavior and not judge the person exhibiting it. Identification also frees me from chain-of-pain perpetuated by the prison of self-deception. Because I am able to IDentify a characteristic, I recognize it from memories of my past experiences. If I am willing to accept that I have been just as immature and forgive myself for the imperfection, I open the floodgates of compassion and forgiveness toward the person Compassiontempting me to scorn. Miraculously, I feel love for this person who has not yet found this path to inner peace. An overwhelming sense of gratitude follows as a result of realizing that forgiving myself is the key to freedom and peace of mind. How simple is that?

Okay…simple, but not so easy! It is just so tempting to go for the temporary high of ‘righteous’ indignation. Outrage is denial of my own earlier outrageous behavior. The brief exhilaration of feeling ‘better than’ comes from ignorance to the automatic low that must follow from karmic kickback. Why must I feel shame soon after feeling pride? It is because my disgust implies my innocence as if I have never and/or would never do something like that. However, I would not be agitated by this person if I didn’t feel shame about similar behaviors that I won’t admit to myself. Instead, my reaction would be magnanimous and I get a wonderful feeling about myself that lasts. When I tell myself that my agitation is about disapproval of them and not myself, they need to change – not me. While that may seem convenient, it is also very dis-empowering. I am doomed to repeat what I won’t admit. It sets me up for another opportunity to behave shamefully and then another to opportunity to temporarily feel better about myself by shaming someone else, and so on, and so on, and….

Admitting is the act of letting in. I can’t release what I haven’t let in! Conversely, the minute I admit a flaw, I can accept it, forgive myself and move on without carrying it around, walled off buried deep in my psyche like an abscess that causes me to react any time someone touches it. That which I resist will persist. Better to feel the pain of admitting it, so I can let it go. This is like feeling the momentary pain when piercing an abscess so I can feel the relief thereafter instead of guarding and defending it forever. If I could recognize my aggressor’s self-sabotaging animosity as something I have been able to conquer, my response will be gracious. This is far more likely to benefit me and anyone involved or even observing the exchange. Any time I have been able to behave with grace or dignity, it has put an extra spring in my step – not from pride, but from LOVE.

Changing How You Look at Things Changes What You’re Looking At

I want to show you how you can end stress associated with control issues.  Actually, that’s redundant!  Isn’t all stress caused by feeling powerless to guarantee a desired result?

One of the most important principles underlying everything I say and do and teach is: Life is Lived From the Inside→Out.  There are many potent principles associated with this Truth.  One of the more challenging and equally rewarding to use is: Thoughts Are More Powerful Than Words or Things.  This principle is challenging because it rarely produces instant gratification and we can’t prove cause and effect at this level.  And yet, if you pay attention, you will know that all the events of your life, began at  the invisible level of thought.  Awareness is key.  If you are not paying attention you will miss it and dismiss the most effective way to create the life of your dreams.    When we understand that our inner world creates our outer world, we know that trying to control people, places or things to get what we want is an option on par with rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The formula is simple:

  • Become aware of stress.
  • Change your perspective by looking at the scenario from the perspective of the other person, the institution or an impartial observer.
  • Reinterpret the situation.  Spend as much time as it takes to imagine a way to  interpret the event(s) that benefits you.
  • Adjust your attitude by acting as if this interpretation is the correct interpretation.  
  • Use this perception every time the topic comes up.
  • If new information is presented about this topic that negates this, simply repeat the steps.

Many years ago, one of  my best friends betrayed me.  I was divorcing my husband at the time.  I felt like I had been abandoned, unappreciated, unloved and alone when I couldn’t save my marriage.  I was so afraid, depleted and depressed.  This was one of the darkest periods in my life.  To make matters worse, I discovered that friends and relatives don’t like when you upset the apple cart.  At least, back then in my little world, divorce came with stigma attached.  My friends weren’t happy that I became a single  mom and my relatives were not too thrilled with the idea of a ‘failure’ in the genealogy.

One of my go-to ‘peeps’ was so disturbed by my decision, that she set out to destroy my reputation.  My situation at the time was rife with highly effective circumstantial evidence that could be used to ‘frame’ me.  I was the unwitting starlet of my soap opera.  I faced accusation and rejection from people I loved at a time when I needed them most.  Luckily, I already had a bit of an awakening having read Deepak Chopra’s book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and James Allen’s classic, As a Man Thinketh.

We reap what we sow in thought word and deed.  This is inescapable.

This  meant that I was enduring that particular undesirable ‘harvest’ because of seeds I must have sown in the past.  If I wanted a different harvest, I would have to plant new seeds.  I would have to change something.  In this case, I first had to figure out what seeds I had planted – because I had no idea what I did to get those results.  It seemed so obvious to me that she was the problem and I was the victim!  How could I ever find a way to take responsibility for this cruelty?  Then it occurred to me.  My life had a very strong theme running through it.  From the day my father died when I was a young girl, I developed an increasingly powerful victim lens  through which I perceived seemingly unprovoked unwanted circumstances.

I needed to reframe my perception or I would keep real-izing these types of scenarios.  I remember feeling so grateful that I had figured out why I often found myself saying, “Why me?”  The warm and cozy blanket of denial known as self-pity is particularly challenging to remove.  It feels so good to blame others because it gives a brief ego-driven high of  righteousness and… quite conveniently, if you are at fault, I don’t have to change.   You do!  Unfortunately,  blaming others also means my happiness is dependent upon other people or scenarios beyond my control.  Why would I choose this feeble strategy?  Fortunately, by assuming responsibility for all the circumstances of my life, I give myself response-ability.  I can respond to an affront, insult, set-back, etc. in a way that will diffuse any negative energy associated with me and begin to build a new momentum in the direction of my choosing.

Awareness of my thoughts, feelings & emotions and the  consequences of owning or validating them, gives me the power to choose the next chapter of my life.  Conversely, if I am not paying attention to the activity between my ears(positive or negative),  I give up my freedom to choose whether what comes next is beneficial or harmful  to me.

In the case of my  friend, every time a realized I was obsessing, or got a strong feeling of self-pity or resentment, I stopped what I was doing so I could address the situation, because I knew it would be a runaway train in no time. I used to take a moment or longer to bless her and forgive her.  Pausing for a minute helped me to remember that what she thought she was doing to me, she was actually doing to herself.  She could only harm me if I ‘ate the poison’ by reacting to it, thereby tacitly agreeing with the charges. In pausing, I could also reflect on  the  thoughts that came before the gripping sensation associated with my earlier negativity. Once I identified what tapes were playing in my mind, I would replace them with new ones that made me feel better, stronger, wiser, happier, positive, etc.  I could access compassion  for her because I knew that what we ‘send out’ comes back multiplied. I knew that she had no idea of the havoc that her behavior would wreak on her life later… or she wouldn’t do it!  Meanwhile,I knew I  was fortunate because I could choose to return unkindness with love knowing that I will be so happy when  that love comes back to me exponentially.

I was vigilant about harboring no ill will.  However, I did not seek her friendship either.  That would have been an act of cruelty toward myself that would also bring an undesired harvest.  In less than a year, it was time for her to reap the harvest of the seeds she planted with me.  Misfortune she never could have imagined caused her much shame and threatened her good name and reputation.  She found herself in a very compromised situation suddenly overwhelmed by new responsibilities thrust upon her.  Without batting an eyelash, I assumed as much of her load as I was suited to handle.  Her young daughter spent the better part of a year with me going home at night just to sleep.  I did whatever else I could do. The past never occurred to me.  This is why thoughts are more powerful than words or deeds.  My response to her suffering that resulted in a beautiful win-win for all parties, was only possible with a pure heart.  If I had continued to have a grudge, I could have felt vindicated.  I may have enjoyed some twisted sense of satisfaction that ‘she got what was coming to her.’ I promise you, this would have caused subconscious self-loathing and an unintended negative spiral that I would not believe I deserved!

Instead,after a couple of years, my decision to force myself to feel compassion instead of resentment (even when I didn’t mean it at first) reaped a harvest that continues to feed my soul today.  I have in her, a most loyal friend.  We have trustworthy friendship based on respect, personal responsibility and generosity of spirit.  Perhaps even more importantly, I gained so much self-respect by honoring the Golden Rule.  Gold it is!

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

BEHAVE

Be —> Have

How you act (be) now is commensurate with the experiences (people, places & things) you will have later.

 

GOD REST THEIR SOULS

blessings36

Dear Lord, Help us to understand our bullies need LOVE and direction NOT disapproval & rejection!

 

WORKPLACE WELLNESS

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

RE-MEMBER 

re+member = re-join, re-connect (i.e. sign-up)

“Always remember.”  Really?  Why?

Be certain you want to keep revisiting a memory – the energy the memory evokes is an electromagnetic attractor field.  If you cannot visit a memory without becoming sad, bitter or anxious…why would you want to attract more of it?

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

COGNITION & CHANGE

Because the only constant in ‘reality’ is change, the mindful constantly seek to cognize the new and the presumably unaware constantly seek to recognize the familiar.

 

Embrace the unknown – your lifeline to reality. 

Enjoy the known – as a movie and not your reality.

NASH FLASH

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed           

INSIGHT

is the software for one who knows the observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight‘) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention.

Our constructive or destructive interpretation of what we experience determines what follows for us.    

ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE AWAKE?

Sleepwalking

When we are not living consciously we run the risk of making choices that we don’t realize are choices – on autopilot.  We become victims of our own conditioning.  Unconscious living makes us susceptible to making choices for the wrong reasons – without checking our motives.  Exhaustive research reveals that about 96% of humanity does not even realize that this is an issue, which is to say that 96% of humanity is sleepwalking.  Fewer realize that present moment conscious awareness is the single most important factor of success in life – whatever success means to each of us.  Our lives are enjoyable and rewarding to extent that we are present in it.  Being present means being aware in the moment as our thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, and/or events unfold throughout our day enabling us to check-in with ourselves:

• We might ask ourselves, “Is this train of thought life-affirming, loving, in-line with my goals, worthy of me and suitable for me to share without shame?”

• We can pay attention to our IGS (my Internal Guidance System) noticing feelings of constriction or expansion within? 

• Am I acting according to what I have said and what I think?

• Is this really my thought or am I being a parrot?  

• Is this thought true?  Is it valid?  Is this a belief?  

• Do this person’s action match up with their words?  

• Does this thought or action help me or hinder my progress?  

• Why I am thinking, saying or doing this?

• Am I paying attention?  

• Am I hearing what I want to hear instead of what is really being said?  

• What was I thinking before I did this?

• Should I acknowledge what I just saw, heard, said, and/or did?

These are just a few examples of the type of insight available to one who is practicing present moment awareness.  Insight is awareness of and attention to one’s inner vision.  Insight grants us every advantage to create the life of our dreams.  Life is not happening to us.  It is happening from us.  Life is lived from the inside → out.  The observable world that each one of us experiences  (‘outsight’) is the result of our prolonged, habitual focus and the quality of that attention  – interpretation of what we are experiencing.  

When we intentionally choose our attitude each moment, and when we decide where to direct our attention & energy each moment, we choose the experiences that ensue.  People, who do not know this, keep observing and reacting to circumstances (aka: the result) with little or no sense of our responsibility for them. Unable to improve their circumstances permanently at the level of cause, they spin out in a continuous feedback loop. 

One of my clients described a scenario that illustrates this quite well.  She told me that her husband is making her crazy.  She can no longer sit with him at their son’s basketball games.  He is aggressive at best and often downright abusive.  He directs his negativity toward their son, his coach, the referees, the other players on his team, the other team, the other parents, and so on.  The tension comes home with them and has often led to family drama that continues for days.  The father is mad at the son for ‘underperforming;’ the son is mad at the father for the abuse; the wife is mad at the husband for once again disrupting the family; the husband is mad at the wife for not supporting him, etc.  

In this scenario the father keeps focusing on what the son did wrong.  The son keeps focusing on his father’s anger.  The wife keeps focusing on the pain this causing everyone.  She told me, “Yesterday, I screamed at him asking him how he could be so stupid.  Did it ever occur to him that he has done this for 13 years and it has not improved the situation one bit?  The same thing keeps happening over and over!”  I asked her if she has chastised him for as long.  She flushed.  I got my answer.  

If we keep looking at the result of negative thinking we will keep seeing things we do not like: If she could begin to change her inner dialogue to predispose her to the solution, little by little things would evolve more favorably.  If she could inspire her husband to change his perception and inner dialogue, things would have to change for the better very quickly.  The burden of stress their son carries would evaporate and his performance would be affected measurably.   All the evidence we need about stress blocking us from the zone is demonstrated for all  to see by Tiger Woods.   More importantly, the long-rage impact of support and encouragement instead of disapproval and disappointment is obvious.  

The cost of sleepwalking is devastating and the benefits of remaining alert in the present moment are so magnificent that everyone’s main goal should be learning to stay present and think constructively.

 

RIGHT IS DEAD WRONG

  • Do you know someone who ‘needs’ to be right?
  • Have you ever felt like you won an argument?
  • Have you ever argued for your point of view?
  • Have you ever accepted proof as the arbiter of right and wrong?
  • Have you ever changed your mind?
  • Do you see Albert Einstein in the picture above?
  • Can you prove you saw Albert Einstein?
  • Can you see Marilyn Monroe in the picture above?
  • Can you prove you saw Marilyn Monroe?
  • Can you see Albert Einstein and Marilyn Monroe at the same time?
  • If I see Einstein and you see Marilyn, who is right?
Ironically, being right is a sign of ignorance. 

 

NASH FLASH

 BELIEVING IS SEEING

 

 Therefore, when we believe that seeing is believing, the notion that history repeats itself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy by default.

Out-of-the box thinkers, visionaries, true leaders and Powerful people don’t look to history to decide our future.

 

WHO ARE YOU?

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JUST RELEASED – THE ULTIMATE EXPERT Podcast # 4

I believe that under all of your formal education and social conditioning, you have an inner expert that knows what’s best for you. YOU are the ultimate expert, and this is your podcast. It’s free, it’s fun, and this week’s episode is available right now. Click on the image to listen to Episode 4

  Now Playing: Episode 4: Brandon Farrell

– OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION –

20-year-old Brandon Farrell asks about being able to control his emotions. A valuable conversations about living a meaningful life of our choosing ensues.

ASK NASH

ACTUAL REALITY BROADCASTING FOR THOSE WHO ARE ASKING
How can I get rid of my anxiety? Why am I so anxious? Why can’t I catch a break? Do we make our luck or are some people just born with it?  Will I ever have peace of mind?  Why doesn’t anyone appreciate me? I have tried everything and I just can’t seem to get there…how can I get my life where I want it to be? How can I stop this awful habit? Why can’t I leave her/him? Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I leave my job? Am I really stuck? How can I get rid of my jealousy? Is it good to be suspicious? Why does it seem like everyone is happier than me? Why do bad things happen to good people? I have been TRYING SO HARD to stay positive and I don’t see any difference – what am I doing WRONG?????

 

 

Week 1: TOOLS – What You Need to Know

“Knowledge has infinite organizing power.”

−Deepak Chopra

I will be posting some important points to ponder over the coming days as you expect my next video blog, when I will introduce the first tool/discipline required to gain control over your thoughts, words and deeds:

The first point: THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS.

The brain is a non-conscious organ that functions like a computer processing ONLY what it can with the programs  installed on it.  If the brain has not been given the software to process information (through formal education and/or socializing), it computes the material as nonsense, much like a pc would read a Word document without the Microsoft Word™ program installed. The document is not nonsense simply because our pc doesn’t have the programming to understand it.  It is, however, nonsense to dismiss the document as nonsense!  There are many ways to compensate for different operating systems and programs so that the facts on the page, which remain absolute regardless of processor, are comprehensible by all.  Likewise, when we judge others and dismiss their opinions and actions, we are the fools.  Their experience is very real for them and we may miss some valuable information if we don’t make the effort to bridge the gap between our different programming and conditioning/socializing.

What are some examples of this phenomenon that you have experienced? Have you ever changed your mind?  Have you ever strongly disagreed with someone (your parents, perhaps) and marveled at your alignment with them years later?  If you have ever once changed your mind, you  know that believing you are right about anything is not sound.

Another example is religious disdain or worse yet, intolerance.  The fact that a religion works for one group of people doesn’t indicate that no other religion is has value; yet, we see countless examples of judgments without thorough comprehension.

When we are ‘unteachable,’ closed-minded or attached to the way things have always been, we subject ourselves to varying degrees of limitation, irrelevance and isolation as if we refuse to upgrade various hardware or software for a computer.  This is true for the most intelligent of as well as the least!  I saw a conversation on Larry King between Stephen Hawkin and Deepak Chopra and realized that for all of his genius, Stephen Hawking was actually dismissing Deepak Chopra’s claims because they had not been his experience.  Additionally, he had never even tried to gain that experience!

We must be open to the experiences of others, challenge our comfort zone, and  embrace change to evolve.  I’m not sure where I first heard this expression, but I sure do love it:

“When I am alone in my mind, I am in enemy territory.”

−Unknown

Free Introduction to Meditation

Sunday, October 30, 2011  

The Center for Relaxation & Healing  Chatham,NJ

Alternatively, you may join us live via teleconference.

You choose!  Simply make your selection on the registration page. The details of the teleconference can be found when you register.  Please feel free to invite as many friends as you like and forward this announcement to anyone yoiu know that may benefit from this information.

Stressed?  Anxious?

OverloadOver-thinking?  Angry?  Pressured?

  • Learn why meditation is so important for well-being and peace of mind.
  • Decide whether level one or leveltwo is the most appropriate choice for you:
    1. Simply and effectively change the way you feel employing various medataive relaxation techniques.
    2. Discover the seemingly miraculous, life-changing benefits of a formal meditation practice.
  • 30 minutes will be devoted to Q&A and/or guided meditation as time allows.

Register Now!

NASH FLASH

Attraction Confusion

 like attracts like 

and opposites attract

The two are not mutually exclusive.  The subject and quality of our focus determines what we attract.  A loving person focusing on what they hate (illness, mean people, etc.) is likely to attract just that!  Onlookers will say, “How unfair!”  Actually, the law is non-discriminating applying to everyone.  

A simple shift of focus to what is desired with a grateful, expectant heart will produce  miracles!


THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

The unknown is our playground. 

The known is our graveyard.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

May the Force be with you.”

May YOU be with the Force!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

INDEPENDENCE

In-dependence
of each other,
our environment
and a higher power,
free from control.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

SHAME

prevents us from taking responsibility for grievances and conflicts in our lives,

dooming us to repeat the patterns that caused them.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

AMENDS

made begrudgingly, without sincerity, or for some ulterior motive (e.g. to ‘keep the peace’)

will mend nothing.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

SELF-SABOTAGE

is the unintended result of two misguided motives:
resentment and people-pleasing

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

SACRIFICE AND LOVE

can’t be used in the same sentence.

Whatever we give to or share with our beloved makes us feel

enhanced ~ not at all diminished, depleted or drained.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

APRIL MEDITATION SEMINAR BEGINS SUNDAY 4.3.2011

meditation

Stress is the root of all dysfunction in our lives, physically, emotionally or socially. Proper meditation is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress, along with a sense of purpose and meaningful relationships (with ourselves as well as others). With Laura’s guidance, you will learn to effortlessly meditate your way to:
• gain mastery over your inner dialogue
• acquire peace of mind
• sharpen your focus and mental clarity
• improve relationships on all levels (intimate, familial, social and business)
• maintain balance and calm through adversity
• choose your circumstances instead of reacting to them
• experience a profound sense of satisfaction and fullment day to day
• live a life of meaning and purpose

For more information or to register, click the link below:

 

Click here for details.

 

 

 

NASH FLASH

DEFENSELESSNESS

Not having to win… IS winning!

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

Nash Flash

FEAR OF CHANGE

is the result of identifying ourselves with the roles we play,

our relationships, where we live and how we do things.

It comes from defining ourselves by our possessions.

The greater the depth of our connection to ourSelves, the One having these experiences,
the less we fear losing them.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

GIVING & RECEIVING

Living Self-Care Blog GUEST POST: Real Mom Laura Nash

Laura’s Guest-Post on LIVING SELF-CARE

You Can’t Give Away What You Don’t Possess

Regarding self-sacrifice as a badge of honor comes from our very best intentions. We’ve been told that when we put others’ needs first, we’ll feel so good about ourselves that our needs will diminish. While this is often true about our desires, it is dangerously incorrect about our needs.

Our primary need is for love. Conditioning taught us to look for others to meet this: parents, siblings, friends, lovers and even our children. This dynamic would often require our significant others to suppress their needs in favor of ours. This can’t be love. Furthermore, there is nobody who can love you
the way you need to be loved — with one exception: YOU!

Love is best demonstrated with time and attention. We must give ourselves all the time and attention we need, so that our soul is overflowing with love. We can’t contain it.  We must give it away!  Free from unmet needs, your loved ones will sense the pure joy you derive from the relationship. They’ll neither feel defensive about disappointing you, nor will they act out in order to get your attention.

Only you know what you need. Only you can provide it. Take the time to check-in with yourself.  Discern your wants from your needs.  Extend love to yourself through self-care and your soul will soar.

Today’s author Laura Nash is a consultant and Chopra-certified meditation instructor who teaches individuals and companies “peace of mind” skills.  Visit her an http://www.lauranash.com.

Don’t Like Reality? Change It

What does reality mean to you? Although it sounds like the question has an obvious answer, if you ask five different people, you’ll get five very different, very unique answers. Our choices, preferences, upbringing and past experiences all play a part in coloring our perception of reality. In turn, those perceptions manifest the reality we perceive.

 

As an example, let’s look at an employee in conflict with his boss. He requested that his boss tend to a situation that directly impacted him, ASAP. When his boss didn’t respond immediately, he took it personally. He was very angry that his boss did not take the time to communicate with him clearly and resolve the problem in a timely manner.

 

He reacted to what he perceived as a snub, with emotion – anger. Ultimately, he got what he wanted from his boss. However, he was filled with remorse for his behavior. He knew that he had sown seeds that would cause him to reap a bitter harvest at some future date.

 

In truth, the boss was entrenched in a system of poor communication and the lack of timely response had absolutely nothing to do with the employee. The employee was valued. No one in the firm ever got a direct response. There was dysfunction in the system.

 

By taking the situation personally the employee viewed current events through the lens of his memories of having been marginalized in the past. Because he could not evaluate the situation independently of his personal history – he reacted in a way that engenders disrespect. Rather than stop the cycle with new behavior, he made another contribution to this self-perpetuated reality further distancing himself from his desire to be respected and acknowledged.

 

This is the prison of Karma. Somewhere in his past our employee made a decision that life is unfair and people overlook him. When our thinking or interpretation of a situation leads us to negative emotions, which lead us to non-supporting actions, we have no power or control over our lives. We are trapped in the memory of interpretations of past events which have nothing to do with the current situation, the present moment.

 

One powerful way to bypass the prison of your own perspective is to consciously observe your thoughts, emotions and actions. Challenge your interpretation of events instead of justifying them. Communicate truthfully with yourself and others. Try this exercise the next time you find yourself suddenly recreating past negative patterns:

 

1. Ask yourself, “What just happened?” Describe the incident without judgment.

 

2. Observe your feelings without evaluating them. Be sure to distinguish your thoughts from feelings. For example, don’t say “I feel as if you should have known better” when the truth is “I feel sad.” Sadness is a feeling; feeling that someone should have known better is a thought.

 

3. Take responsibility for your feelings. What others say to us may be the stimulus for how we feel, but it’s never the cause. We choose to feel a certain way based on the interpretation we give to their comment. Do not accept judgment from others or blame them. Begin to focus on your own feelings and acknowledge your needs, desires, expectations, values and thoughts.

 

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need, and use positive language when making requests. Instead of blaming your spouse for your feelings of neglect, try saying “Honey, I’m sad that you spend so much time at the office, but I really enjoy it when you have dinner at home with the kids and me. I would love if you would come home early enough to have dinner with us at least one night a week.” Clearly requesting what you want is much more effective than accusing your spouse of spending too much time at the office and casting blame for not spending enough time with the family. Can you feel the difference?

It’s not easy erasing negative karma, and you may find yourself slipping more than once. But remember that this is a lifelong process, and every new day provides plenty of opportunity for you to change your perspective — and, by extension, your reality.

NASH FLASH

INTENTION

The Intelligence responsible for all experience is literal and exact. It does not discern a loftier intention from sarcasm or self-deprecating humor.

Your words become self-fulfilling prophecy.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

BLAME

This is a tool of the ignorant.  When two magnets are drawn together, which magnet is at fault?

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

Discipline is freedom.

Discipline frees us from the bonds of slavery to a merciless master:

seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.

When we are undisciplined and “blow-off” our homework, our diet, our exercise or (fill in the blank) in favor of some instant gratification – we set ourselves further back from realizing the true joy – the goal.  The more we avoid the initial “pain” of the associated discipline, the greater the burden we carry around daily.


THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

That which we appreciate, appreciates

Appreciation is the alchemy that literally transforms the substance of matter. What you value will actually become more valuable.

The reverse is also true!

  • TREAT your kids as if you appreciate everything about them and they will give you more and more to appreciate.
  • TREAT your wife like she is supremely beautiful inside and out and you will be rewarded by her radiance!
  • TREAT your husband like he is the most competent, generous, loving partner on the planet and you will be the envy of all.
  • TREAT yourself like you are not worthy, by tolerating anything less than this from others or from yourself, and you will experience none of the above.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

NASH FLASH

Judge not.

judgement v. assessment
Assessment is vital to life.  We do it, as we must for our well-being, all day long.  Judgement is toxic to life.  Skewed by self-seeking motives, it is assessment’s impostor.
Simple acid test for discerning a judgement from an assessment:
Are you feeling emotionally charged?

NASH FLASH

There is no one to blame

If you are enduring problems with your boss, your staff, lover, family or friends YOU need to change! When the N Pole and S Pole of two magnets cleave to each other, they are each 100% responsible for the situation.

THE DAILY MANDALA by Henry Reed

You May Say I’m A Dreamer, But I’m Not the Only One…

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but something has held you back? Every time you want to break out of your self-imposed mould, that tiny yet powerful voice in the back of your head known as “doubt” seeps into your consciousness and starts providing dozens of reasons why it’s impossible. “Dreams sound nice, but reality doesn’t work that way,” we tell ourselves, and put that incredible world-changing idea we had on the shelf because it wasn’t “practical”.

But what is reality…in reality? Who determines what reality is?

When you break your current life down into its essential components, the truth is our perception impacts our reality, which in turn reflects our perception. Buddhism describes this concept as “esho funi”, which means “the oneness of life and environment”. Basically, the environment and our lives are inseparable. Our environment is our life, a reflection of everything we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Even the people we associate with reflect our inner thoughts and feelings.

In other words, too often we’re wrapped up in the idea that we have no control over our circumstances, when we’re actually the ones who created those circumstances in the first place.

Why don’t we believe we can affect our reality? Because we only see the world as our five senses process it, causing us to be attached to the way things have always been done. We only understand the “known”–that which has been seen before. And we know the mind wants to protect us from getting hurt, so it does not want to wander into uncharted territory! Therefore, we fall prey to our protective conditioned mind’s old beliefs and thoughts that repeatedly churn out ideas to keep us from moving into the unknown Do these phrases sound familiar?

You don’t have enough time.”

You’re the wrong gender.”

You could never succeed.”

You’re too old.”

It’s too late to start.”

Money does not come easily.”

That industry doesn’t pay well.”

Buying into these excuses limits us from our full potential, and thwarts any valid chance to affect our reality in a profound way. It is much more effective to first believe it because then you will see it. Once we learn to understand the value in ourselves and our dreams, and begin to take steps towards fulfilling those dreams, we will see “esho funi” at work as our environment becomes a brighter place to live—a seemingly inexplicable change to those who knew us before when we felt helpless and overwhelmed!